Job Discussion Forums

BigZen · Joined: 19 Aug 2009 Posts: 56 Location: Japan

Hello Everyone,

I have a few questions which I hope some others might shed some perspective on to find out if I am being a bit too sensitive. I have lived in Japan for 5 years. I live in a city of about 400,000 people, married to a Japanese woman with two small children. We own a dog so I am out every morning walking her around the area for about an hour. Usually the other dog walkers I meet are friendly, but sometimes I meet a person who does not wish my dog to interact with their pooch; which I am cool with. My dog is a Welsh Springer Spaniel, and not threatening or aggressive. Anyways, this morning I come across a younger Japanese man (mid to late 20's) with his young daughter walking their dog. I give them a respectful bow and say ohayogozaimasu. I get no response, so I figure they maybe did not hear me. Then a beat later, he turns around to greet a local woman walking down the street. I know this should minor thing should not have bothered me, but I am sorry to say, it did.

The other incident was at the local gym I go to. It was two weeks ago and very hot. In the exercise area to make casual conversation I asked an older man (60ish) in Japanese what the temperature might be today since it sure is hot...He replies in English, say in a halting and slow way, "I think 28 or 29..." So, I say in Japanese, "Oh you speak English?" He then frantically begins to wave his hand in front of his face and shake his head back and forth indicating "I don't understand..." I then asked myself, if he replies to me in English, and then I try to speak to him in English, and he brushes me off, what gives?

A Japanese man I have gotten to know, also a dog walker, told me a while ago that you can find out a lot about people who walk their dog in how they meet or avoid you when you are walking your pooch. From my experience, most of the Japanese people I meet on the streets are friendly to me when I am with my dog, and I would say the same at the gym. I am not sure if it is because I live small city with few foreigners, or am I just being too sensitive.

Sincerely

BZ

rxk22 · Joined: 19 May 2010 Posts: 1629

I hear ya man. You will never be Japanese no matter how long you are there. You will forever get reminders that you are a gaijin

DLIguy · Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:50 am Post subject:

The first guy and daughter ignored you as you greeted them in a foreign, incomprehensible language ... God knows that couldn't be Nihongo that was sputtering out of your mouth! Rolling Eyes

My wife assures me that the old fella at the gym was just being modest.

mitsui · Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 1562 Location: Kawasaki

It happens to me. I have two dogs.

I walked this morning. I saw several dogs but talked to only one person.

I think some people don't talk to anyone.
It is different when my Japanese wife walks, but some people don't talk to her either.

I live in Kawasaki. Lots of elderly people in my neighborhood. People are unfriendly.

It is one thing about living here that I will never miss after I return to the US. Where do you live?

kah5217 · Joined: 29 Sep 2012 Posts: 270 Location: Ibaraki

Most of the people I say hello to in Japanese act slightly surprised, though I at least get a nod back out of courtesy from them. It's a relatively small area (50 thousand bordering a city with 150k) with a number of foreign bars and restaurants, though I am 90% certain I am the only white woman around. But it's a Japanese thing to ignore foreigners, especially male ones (partially because that stereotype that they're just here to take the women still exists).

DLIguy · Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 2:54 am Post subject:

Solar Strength · Joined: 12 Jul 2005 Posts: 557 Location: Bangkok, Thailand

Pitarou · Joined: 16 Nov 2009 Posts: 1116 Location: Narita, Japan

I'd give people a second chance, if I were you. The people you meet may have all kinds of unexamined assumptions and hang-ups that are triggered the first time a foreigner approaches them.

But if they keep freezing you out, you know there's a problem.

move · Joined: 30 May 2009 Posts: 132

If they don't reply to you that's on them. If there's one thing that students get drilled into their heads from kindergarten onwards, it is the importance of aisatsu. Such a shame that some people can't even bring themselves to acknowledge their neighbors around them. Then when they get to the office it's ohayo gozaimasu and bowing to everybody. Fakeness.

steki47 · Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Posts: 1029 Location: BFE Inaka

A lot of the other residents in my building will not greet me even after I have greeted them. I have also noticed that many of the Japanese residents do not greet each other in the car park or mail room. Shy, introverted, etc.

A few of my neighbors (Japanese and Brazilian) are very friendly and chatty. We hang out on and watch local fireworks. One neighbor taught her two-year old to say "Hello" when he sees me. Adorable.

It seems as though many Japanese consider it a burden to greet new people. I have my BS theories, of course.

Don't take it too personally.

timothypfox · Joined: 20 Feb 2008 Posts: 492

Here is some rough ukulele rock I recorded on Youtube that will cheer you up on a blue day in Japan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4JiuRJXcBk Enjoy!