Job Discussion Forums

[mopo22]

Hi everyone, new to this forum so I apologize if something like this has been asked before. I'm just in the process of applying to teach in China, looking for work in Xiamen in particular, as my boyfriend has accepted a research position at Xiamen University. I was wondering if it would be good or bad or ok to mention this in my cover letter, as part of my reason for applying to these schools? Some have told me that schools like teachers who come with partners as it makes them more likely to stay. Let me know what you think. Thanks so much!

[muffintop]

It's only useful if you're applying to the same school imo.

[Non Sequitur]

I think you should mention it but in an oblique way.
The Chinese are very hierarchical and if BFs role is in any way prestigious I'd put it in.
How about:
'My particular interest in Xiamen is because my partner has accepted a position as a PhD researcher at nnnn. Working at your college means we can experience China and Xiamen together'.
They're parochial too so a repeat of the city name helps.

[wangdaning]

I would shy away from saying boyfriend, partner is a good choice. Boyfriend, to Chinese, implies nothing is settled in the relationship (know you not and not at all doubting your relationship, just pointing out what perceptions will be).

It might be helpful to mention in an interview, but I would say leave it out of the letter. Other things that draw you to China and teaching would be better.

[zactherat]

Are there any advantages to mentioning your relationship?
If not, don't bring it up.

I would assume that most recruiters would interpret
"I'm coming because of my boyfriend"
as
'If he leaves, or if they break up, then so will she. Unstable. Next candidate."

[twilothunder]

Agree with zactherat.

Also consider this possible scenario in the HR office...
"This one wants to work here to be near her boyfriend."
"Oh, that's great, we can knock a grand a month off the offer we would have given her and she'll probably take it."

[mopo22]

Thanks for the input, everyone! It does seem best to leave it out of the letters for now, but to mention it (in a serious way) in the interview.

[doogsville]

[mopo22]

doogsville, that was my first reaction too, until a friend told me to definitely mention it since schools in China (according to her) love couples traveling together. So I figured I'd check and see whether it would give me some advantage or not.

[Non Sequitur]

[tangal]

Why do some posters feel the need to apologize for asking questions here? And which vanity is greater, that of Chinese school owners and others who hire foreign teachers or the vanity of forum war-horses who actually believe there must always be a right/correct/proper way to discuss and answer this sort of question here?

I've lived in Xiamen, and I've taught at Xiamen University. There is (or was in 2010) a lot of teaching work there, and there were and probably still are a few foreigners at some schools doing the hiring (I know this from direct experience, which is really about all any of us can offer any other poster here, because the rest is just IMO this and IMO that).

This school, for example: http://www.whatsonxiamen.com/ask-topic-14.html

Who really knows what one Chinese or foreign person looking to hire the OP will think or care about her mentioning her boyfriend in her cover letter. Like most other Chinese cities jobs come and go on a continually rotating basis, and the only thing that will likely ever matter is the OP's education and teaching experience along with the luck and timing of her job search.

Either way is OK and whether you mention your boyfriend at XMU or not will make very little difference IMO, and anyone vain enough to think it's improper probably isn't worth having as a boss in the first place!

[Non Sequitur]

[choudoufu]

vanity? a newbie asks a question, hoping for advice.
young whippersnappers such as NS provide that advice
according to their experiences.

everyone is entitled to an opinion. here's mine:

don't mention it. hiring folks most likely don't care.
if you meet the requirements, they're happy. there's really
no need to sell yourself for a standard oral engrish job.

i only see negatives for a lady mentioning a boyfriend.
(for a man, it 'might' be a good thing, as he hopefully won't
be boffing the student bodies' bodies.)

lady has a boyfriend? mr/mrs hiring officer is a traditional
guy/gal holding certain stereotypes of western society.
so......boyfriend could beat her, could get her pregnant, could
cheat on her (making her sad and unable to teach), or he
could run away (making her sad), or any number of crazy
ideas.

i also wouldn't use the word 'partner.' mr/mrs traditional
watches western tevelision serieses and believes 'partner' is a
euphemism for gay lover. mr/mrs traditional might not approve.

[Bud Powell]

If one applies to a PUBLIC university, unless the university specifies a cover letter, a cover letter is not necessary. Everything that the public university will need to know about the applicant will appear on the applicant's passport, resume, and letters of recommendation.

If one feels a necessity to mention a significant other who is REALLY significant, and if one wants to follow some of the advice given in this thread, ratchet up the relationship to fiancé. "Partner" might confuse the reader, and if the reader of the letter is savvy in the euphemisms of the west, he might misconstrue "partner" to convey a homosexual relationship. At least in the U.S., the only time I've heard of two unmarried people under the age of fifty refer to his significant other as a partner is in the context of a homosexual relationship (as Choudoudu pointed out, but perhaps it's different for the Brits and Canadians in the forum who seem to predominate).

[Simon in Suzhou]

If you are female, there is absolutely no benefit in mentioning your boyfriend in the application process, and it might actually hurt your chances at a job if they know you are not single and available. TONS of Chinese girls lie about their marital status because SINGLE girls are preferable in the workplace. There is A LOT of very subtle sexism rampant in work environments in China.

If you are a male, being married or in a serious relationship is seen as a benefit because the employer might think you are less likely to sleep around and be promiscuous with students.