Job Discussion Forums

[spiral78]

I have come across some clever English-language tidbits over the years. Here are a few I came across recently.

Contribute if you've got some

[spiral78]

Let's eat grandma.
Let's eat, grandma.

Punctuation saves lives.

[spiral78]

A.A.A.A.A.
American Association Against Acronym Abuse

[spiral78]

Grammar: the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you're nuts.

[spiral78]

I have CDO. It's like OCD, except that it's in alphabetical order as it should be.

[Sashadroogie]

Dyslexics of the world , untie!!!

[Kent F. Kruhoeffer]

Very funny!

Loved the ones about OCD and dyslexics of the world.


A student of mine, many years ago in Russia:

'Teacher, I want to cook you!'


A student of mine recently in Manila:

Teacher: 'So what did you do over the weekend?'

Student: 'I played with my son's balls.'

Aforementioned student and young father had just bought a basketball and some other toy 'balls' for his 2 year old son to play with. A grammatically correct sentence, I might add. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.


Language students say the funniest things.

[MuscatGary]

A classical false friend situation from my book in progress...

Eventually we reach the question about favourite foods, a great topic in France but not particularly arduous as much of English cuisine vocabulary originates from French anyway. Naturally, we all agree that French cheese is delicious, French wine is outstanding, and that French bread is far superior to English bread. I explain that this is because we put preservatives in our bread and I am greeted with a pair of stylishly incredulous looks. 'You put the préservatif in your bread? Why?’ says Sophie. 'Well, it makes it last longer' I explain. Sophie and Marie-Chantal look like they are going to burst, Sophie asks Marie-Chantal if it's possible and gets a Gallic shrug and 'I suppose so', as her response. I begin to suspect a false friend has entered the conversation or as the French would say 'un ami faux'. This is where a word or phrase looks/sounds the same in two languages but has (often hilariously) different meanings. I ask Sophie, who is struggling to breathe, what 'préservatif ' means in French and she explains that it's a condom. The full implication of my explanation of why we put preservatives in our bread hits me and I also dissolve in laughter.

[sager]

I was teaching the Passive Gerund:

Student: I like cooking but I prefer being cooked!

Prepositions save lives too!