Site Search:
 
Get TEFL Certified & Start Your Adventure Today!
Teach English Abroad and Get Paid to see the World!
Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

bending over backwards
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
denise



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 12:08 pm    Post subject: bending over backwards Reply with quote

My school has eight-week terms--seven weeks of class, one week of finals/TOEFL/grading. We are just about to start the fifth week.

In one of my classes, there is a student who, for personal/emotional/psychological/whatever reasons has not come to class yet this term. (And if I remember correctly, she came to class ONE DAY last year.) She is still living in the dorm, and says that she doesn't want to live at home with her parents. What she does all day every day is anyone's guess.

Apparently, she has decided that she wants to come to class again, so I may well see her in my 9am class. She has missed FOUR FULL WEEKS of class! Sure, I'll give her a syllabus, tell her what we have covered, and allow her to make up her work/quizzes if she comes to my office hours, but I do not want to take any time away from the students who have been showing up daily and working hard. It would be grossly unfair to them to give extra attention to one student who, quite frankly, has done nothing to earn extra attention. (We've been training our students to tell us when they're sick, going out of town, etc., so we know where they are and what they need to make up, and we rarely hear from her.)

What do you guys/gals think? Are we counselors as well as teachers? Are we parents? Should I hold her hand and gently help her along, or treat her like an adult (I teach university-aged students) and expect her to take responsibility for herself? How much responsibility should I take upon myself to get her caught up?

I have spoken to a few friends about this situation, and they have all said that it's not my responsibility to mother her. Still, I feel like mothering her would be the compassionate thing to do. What would you folks do? Have you faced similar situations? I am really worried about this, and I am not looking forward to my first class tomorrow morning.

d
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
gugelhupf



Joined: 24 Jan 2004
Posts: 575
Location: Jabotabek

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I firmly believe that all educators have a pastoral responsibility for their students so you are right to have made the efforts that you have done so far, and I believe that you would be right to continue offering support. This being so, there comes a time when a minority of students need a higher level of care than a teacher can provide and it sounds like this case needs referring on. I'm saying that from the perspective of working in a UK university where there are student support services and trained counsellors etc. which I realise might be very different from your situation.

We had a young woman who basically failed to turn up for more than a few sessions for a year, then talked the University into letting her switch course and repeat another year. In her repeat year her attendance was virtually zero and in the end she was "deemed to have withdrawn" as university parlance goes. It transpired that she had never been interested in going to university, had only ever gone due to parental pressure, and that her parents had no idea there was any problem until she was finally de-registered. She had wasted two years of her life just because she was scared of letting down her parents, which is exactly what happened in the end.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Gordon



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Denise, I think you need to be firm. I'm not sure if you're in a university. What kind of a school is it? What do your colleagues do? There comes a time when these students need to take responsibility for themselves and not get 8, 9 chances. It just perpetuates their problem of irresponsibility.

On the first day of classes at my university, I lay out the ground rules and even do it in writing so there is no chance of misunderstanding. They know how may classes they can miss before they fail and how they are graded, their texts... Students will push you as far as they think they can get away with it. This weekend I have been grading many of my classes and had some difficult choices to make, who to fail and who not to.

I agree with you that you should not take time away from your good students to deal with this lazy one. No special treatment. Let us know how it goes.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ntropy



Joined: 11 Oct 2003
Posts: 671
Location: ghurba

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How old is the girl and what kind of school do you teach at?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Bindair Dundat



Joined: 04 Feb 2003
Posts: 1123

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 4:50 pm    Post subject: Re: bending over backwards Reply with quote

denise wrote:
I have spoken to a few friends about this situation, and they have all said that it's not my responsibility to mother her. Still, I feel like mothering her would be the compassionate thing to do. What would you folks do? Have you faced similar situations? I am really worried about this, and I am not looking forward to my first class tomorrow morning.


It's apparent that you are torn over this. I know what I would do, but that has little to do with what YOU should do. We have to apply different criteria because we have different values in relation to this sort of situation.

I'd suggest that you begin by using whatever guidelines are in place; What is the *minimum* that your "job description" requires of you? What do the school regulations require of her? Make sure that you're playing by the book and that you're holding her accountable to the school's expectations.

Once you're over that hurdle, then what you do is purely a matter of personal preference. If you want to mother her, go ahead. If you want to cut her off, you can do that, too. IMO, it really doesn't matter in terms of the effect on her; she's on her path, and there's probably very little you can do to affect the course of her life. That leaves you free to satisfy YOURSELF; so do what you like. You have my permission. Wink

BD
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Will.



Joined: 02 May 2003
Posts: 783
Location: London Uk

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surely there is a system in place to refer students who do nor=t attend class and exhibit such behaviour?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
denise



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I teach in the IEP program of an American university (a satellite campus). We do have a counselor who tracks down delinquent students and tries to figure out what their problems are. He has tried to contact her (this year and last), and basically just discovered that she was still here but not coming to classes.

I'm not alone in having to deal with this. Aside from our counselor, there are other teachers she'll have to work with. (I'm one of three--the other two both seem to be more mothering, whereas I'm the more hands-off "you are adults so you can get yourselves out of bed or not on your own" type). I've got a really great, supportive environment, so I'm not worried about anyone (counselor, other teachers, or supervisor, with whom I intend to speak the first chance I get!) thinking I've done the "wrong" thing.

As far as grades & not letting the students get away with too much--just this year, we set a new school-wide attendance policy: two freebies, and after that every absence takes off two points from the students' grades. Mathematically, the highest score this student can get in my class (if I apply the policy to her starting from the beginning of the term, which I probably won't because it just seems too mean) is 64%.

I think one of the hardest things that I'm having to deal with is the acceptance that, although I try to treat my students like mature adults capable of taking care of themselves, a lot of 18-20 year old Japanese students simply cannot.

d
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Will.



Joined: 02 May 2003
Posts: 783
Location: London Uk

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 9:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is there a sort of 'buddy programme' you could introduce her to? It seems a strange situation. There is normally a friendship group that welcomes new students to the country like the Americam -Japanese club or suchlike perhaps they might have a link to what is going on, or be able to assist in some way.
Good luck along the way, keep us posted
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Kurochan



Joined: 01 Mar 2003
Posts: 944
Location: China

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 10:57 pm    Post subject: Incomplete? Reply with quote

Would you have the option of giving her an incomplete, and then giving her the final grade after she completes extra work for you? That would be a way to know if she's really serious about completing the class, give her a chance to get back on track if that's what she wants to/can do, and will give you some decision-making leeway.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ntropy



Joined: 11 Oct 2003
Posts: 671
Location: ghurba

PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 12:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Give her what she earned in the class. Nothing. Fail her. She should be put on probation or asked to find a program which suits her needs better.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 12:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

At the end of the day no matter how much help or advice we give students have to be responsible for their own learning
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
denise



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 12:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the replies, everyone. The student has come to class two days in a row now (gasp!). We've had a few talks about her. It looks like she will move up to the next level (provided that she comes for the rest of the term!) based solely on her ability, not on her work and class performance. She's actually below where she should be--we had her in a higher level last year and she freaked out, so we moved her down.

I haven't gone out of my way for her. I gave her a syllabus and a quiz (she happened to show up on quiz day, and she did better than many of the other students!), and she purchased a book on her own. Silly me, though--it didn't even occur to me to introduce her to the other students! One of the other teachers did that in another class. Oooops.

d
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Gordon



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 2:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I have a student come into the class and they have missed the last 3 or 4 weekly classes, I make an announcement in the class welcoming the "guest".
I know it isn't nice, but neither is missing a month of classes without a good reason.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
ls650



Joined: 10 May 2003
Posts: 3484
Location: British Columbia

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 10:31 pm    Post subject: Re: bending over backwards Reply with quote

denise wrote:
What do you guys/gals think? Are we counselors as well as teachers? Are we parents? Should I hold her hand and gently help her along,


1) I think you�re getting awfully worked up over one student. She skipped class; you can�t be responsible for her actions, and shouldn�t let it impact the other students.

2) No.
3) Some of us are - but not to our students!
4) Definitely not! She sounds like she needs to take some responsibility for herself and her own actions.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Glenski



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 12:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Denise,
Your situation sounds exactly like a few that I have had in Sapporo. Like you wrote, for whatever emotional/social/physical reasons, some students never seem to attend, and suddenly they show up for the last day of class.

In Japan, yes, you are a teacher, counselor (few schools have them), and proxy-parent. That's just the way things are handled here. Fortunately, you have a life support system: the rest of your Japanese staff, including the student's homeroom teacher, the staff nurse, and perhaps the head of the grade she is in.

In your situation, however, (a university), there is no homeroom teacher or head of her grade, and the counselor seems to have done a rather poor job. All you can do is evaluate her on what she has done, keep in touch with the counselor, and move on.

Quote:
I think one of the hardest things that I'm having to deal with is the acceptance that, although I try to treat my students like mature adults capable of taking care of themselves, a lot of 18-20 year old Japanese students simply cannot.

Yes, even in university classes, students can't be compared to their western equivalents. You wind up treating them the way the system wants you to. So, hand in your attendance records, the dearth of homework and test scores, and keep in touch with the counselor. As much as high school teachers go the long mile in dealing with every student's individual needs, you can't be expected to do that in university.

Quote:
It looks like she will move up to the next level (provided that she comes for the rest of the term!) based solely on her ability,

Too bad...for her, but that is the Japanese system. It's ironic that she can move up on her "ability", when she hasn't been around long enough to demonstrate it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion All times are GMT
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2018 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

Teaching Jobs in China
Teaching Jobs in China