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teacher X



Joined: 13 Feb 2013
Posts: 220
Location: Super Sovietsky Apartment Box 918

PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JamesonWhiskey wrote:

I definitely would like to find a girlfriend before it starts to get cold. Maybe I find one without another boyfriend, that would be preferable. Thankfully I have time to learn. I'm a young naive man in Russia, what could conceivably go wrong.


I've found that to be rather tricky. All the ones I've slept with had a boyfriend or husband (usually with me only finding out after)
There is nothing worse than waking up next to a girl to then have her talk about you meeting her kids. I tend to very suddenly have a class which needs teaching.
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maruss



Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Posts: 1145
Location: Cyprus

PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 9:16 pm    Post subject: How did you find out? Reply with quote

As you can read from my previous posting,one girl told me next day that she lived with her boyfriend when she was in Moscow!
One ex-pat guy I knew dated a gorgeous girl who worked in the bank where he had an account......early next morning she told him that she needed to go home to collect 'some things' after he invited her to stay for the weekend.....she returned an hour or so later with her 4 year old son, saying that her alcoholic husband had thrown her out so she was moving in with him instead!She was quite serious and he had a hell of a problem getting out of that situation!
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheesh, you guys! Where do you meet these people? Moscow has more single women than men, and most single women are fairly serious about landing a decent man. I can only guess that you are all looking in the wrong places, or are just unlucky. Language barriers account only for so much....
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maruss



Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Posts: 1145
Location: Cyprus

PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:24 pm    Post subject: Whilst I wouldn't disagree there Sasha..... Reply with quote

There are lots of Russians trapped in bad marriages and for women with kids it's even worse : accomodation is notoriously expensive so for many there is no choice but to grin and bear it until another opportunity comes along:I heard of many cases of divorced couples who still lived in the same appartments together because they couldn't afford to move......and of divorced women living alone who were wary of marrying again in case the guy was just after the chance to get somewhere to live in Moscow and a residence registration etc!
To us it may sound crazy but necessity creates its own rules?
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MdSmith



Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the entertaining stories, definitely worthy of a novel or two! Seriously did that stuff happen... are western guys still such a novelty that we can hook up in a bookshop??

I'm in dire need of adventure actually; late-30s midlife crisis. What are the medium-long term prospects for work there, are 'older' teachers respected? I did tefl years ago, was the most enjoyable thing I've done. In between I got a doctorate (not tefl-related) but it sucked my soul, not sure I'm cut out for the corporate world either. What are your thoughts guys?
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm. A few thoughts. Firstly, hook ups happen in other places, ranging from the usual bar/club scene to the distinctly unsavoury professional establishments. A fair amount of street smarts being required for either type of venue.

Bookshops are one of many locations where decent people can be met. Nothing may come of it, but it is pleasantly diverting. But do not think that western men are in any way a novelty, especially in Moscow or St Petersburg. Just not so. But it is likely that if you see a girl browsing the English language section of Dom Knigi that she will speak fairly good English, be well educated etc, and so your natural charm may have a chance of being understood. It isn't really a question of being an easy place to pick up someone - just a matter of reducing the language barrier for non-Russian speakers.

It is also good for potential students! "Don't buy that book, my dear. This book on phrasal verbs is so much more authentic...yes, I'm a teacher, here's my card...yes I teach privately... Of course your friend Dasha can study with you...oh this tall blonde here is Dasha? Lovely to meet you too... Actually, yes, I have time for a coffee. What a splendid idea!"

As for mid-life crises, Russia might not be the best place to suffer one of them. Too many other crises to contend with at the same time. You'd need to be fairly self-reliant and able to get on with things. Your school won't mollycoddle you much after the first few weeks. But for a change of pace, venue, lifestyle, some adventure, etc., then Russia will certainly do that. Just don't expect much in the way of a safety net. Seen too many guys spin out of control dealing with their own inner demons, and being knocked sideways by the madness of Moscow life. Hard to get inner balance.

On the plus side, adult Russian students are generally quite respectful. But this respect can easily be lost if there is no real teaching skill evident. They need to see progress. Entertaining stories from the teacher's life don't really fit the bill.

So, come to Russia! Just, be aware that it isn't a place for people to 'escape' to. Still need to be organized, be responsible, work hard, and be able to actually teach : )

Join us! Join Russia, before Russia joins you!

Best of luck!
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:53 am    Post subject: Re: Whilst I wouldn't disagree there Sasha..... Reply with quote

maruss wrote:
There are lots of Russians trapped in bad marriages and for women with kids it's even worse : accomodation is notoriously expensive so for many there is no choice but to grin and bear it until another opportunity comes along:I heard of many cases of divorced couples who still lived in the same appartments together because they couldn't afford to move......and of divorced women living alone who were wary of marrying again in case the guy was just after the chance to get somewhere to live in Moscow and a residence registration etc!
To us it may sound crazy but necessity creates its own rules?


Ah, Maruss, OK. These situations do happen. But how frequently? About as often as those awful drunken axe murders stories, I'd guess.

Most people, most couples, are exactly the same as everywhere. Sometimes things don't work out, but there isn't anything exceptional there. Apart from local customs or laws etc., most of this is identical to the problems we all face even at home.
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maruss



Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Posts: 1145
Location: Cyprus

PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 9:06 pm    Post subject: some good advice there Sasha...... Reply with quote

especially for would be runaways hoping to escape from something!I also saw too many cases of ex-pats who went there for that reason.....and found that not only had they brought their old problems with them but also had new ones to contend with!
In general you are right-employers will not molly-cuddle you and after the initial induction you will be left to your own devices to cope with whatever comes along,both at work and outside.This can be tough, as you rightly said and even my best Russian friend there, who I had known for years from when he lived here in Cyprus,told me nicely but also very clearly on the day after I arrived,that he would not be able to see me often and most probably only at weekends,because the lifestyle in Moscow simply did not permit it:his daily commute to and from work in traffic,winter weather and his family commitments etc. meant that he had no free time during the week,although we could of course stay in touch by phone and in the event of me having any serious problems he would of course try to help. He also had doubts about one of the ladies I knew,although he never met her,admittedly because she was originally from Ukraine and he said many Muscovites resent their prescence there?His main concern was that she might try to exploit me financially although this tuned out not to be the case-in fact the opposite as my circumstances eventually turned out!
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Russia - for the stout of heart only!
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MdSmith



Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Posts: 67

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 8:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the replies guys. Sounds like a challenging place to start out. Well I did tefl several years back but might be best to ease myself back into it. Btw is there much age bias over there for being hired? Cheers
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

None that I know of. So long as you can teach, and are physically fit enough to negotiate public transport, then age doesn't matter.
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teacher X



Joined: 13 Feb 2013
Posts: 220
Location: Super Sovietsky Apartment Box 918

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd disagree. I know of a couple of companies in Moscow which have an age limit. They wont hire anyone over the age of 35. This is concerning to me since I'm heading that way.

When I taught in China it was a similar case.

The main reason tends to be that older teachers are more inflexible than the younger ones. I've worked with 3 'older' teachers, one being in his 60s, and sadly they were complete nightmares to work with.

Refusing to teach kids; refusing to work weekends; refusing to teach adults they didn't like; refusing to cover classes despite being given notice of more than a week and being under hours; refusing to work evenings/mornings.

Obviously, meeting 3 'older' teachers who were a pain in the ass doesn't mean they all are (especially since younger teachers can be even worse) but it does result in companies tarring the entire group with the same brush.

It frustrates me when I'm in a school which hires a problematic 'older' teacher because it feels as though they're killing my future prospects with their bullshit.
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting... Have never come across that myself. But still, two schools out of the hundreds that operate here? Still say it is very far from typical.

Also, a big difference from China is, as far as I know, there is no age limit in visas etc. some schools may have their own crackpot policies, but there are plenty of alternative schools to choose from.
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teacher X



Joined: 13 Feb 2013
Posts: 220
Location: Super Sovietsky Apartment Box 918

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 7:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sashadroogie wrote:
Interesting... Have never come across that myself. But still, two schools out of the hundreds that operate here? Still say it is very far from typical.


Thankfully, you're right.
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Teacher X, I'm always right! Papal infallibility has nothing on Communist doctrine! Very Happy
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