Job Discussion Forums

cafebleu · Joined: 10 Feb 2003 Posts: 404

Bubba - it seems you are using the right handle as your dummyspit that you are passing off as a legitimate reply was unneccessary.

I find that out of the male posters here Glenski, Pual H, Gordon, Brooks and some others have a nice tendency to post and reply in a way that does not stereotype women posters. Maybe you need a crash course in reading their posts to learn something of that.

No, I didn`t laugh when you told us why your marriage broke up. That is an unfortunate thing and it is also unfortunate that you seem so hostile and defensive about the remark I made that prompted your attacks and unnecessarily hostile rant about so called feminazis. My partner (an Asian man) did have a good laugh about that comment. He also said to tell you that I am pretty and thin and have no inferiority complexes regarding Asian women.

If you take time to check them out, on other chatboards and on websites it is not unusual to find posts by foreign men in Japan who talk about their `loveless, sexless marriage` and they are seeking partners for discreet fun to compensate for this. In some cases the marriages break up after the initial atttraction because there is no mental compatibility.

`Nothing going on` in the partner`s head that matches what goes on inside her foreigner husband`s head. One of my husband`s best friends is a Canadian man who got married and the marriage ended effectively as a relationship within two years. He said that if the woman had been a westerner, they could have talked more about things but his Japanese partner effectively cut off the communication. He believes his experience is not unusual in Japan.

Bitter Bubba - you`ve told us a lot about your attitude to women, I think.

cafebleu · Joined: 10 Feb 2003 Posts: 404

Sorry - that should have read `my soon to be husband`. We are getting married in September.

Lovechild · Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 44

I thought I would change the subject slightly and write about an Eastern person with a Western woman.

I find having a relationship with someone from a different culture as being insightful as well as giving a different perspective on every day life. Learning of another culture gives me insight into myself and my own culture.

The beginning of a relationship with someone of a different culture and country is always interesting because I am not just learning about her, I am learning about her heritage. Just going out to dinner can be so interesting and fun. Fun by ordering something I have never eaten before, and interesting by learning about the cuisine and then doing something after dinner that I wouldn't normally do with my friends.

I haven't had an intimate relationship with a Western woman in Japan, but just about every time I travel abroad I end up bonding with a woman from the country I am visiting. I guess my social life and business in Japan takes up too much of my time.

Bubba · Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 34

cafebleu · Joined: 10 Feb 2003 Posts: 404

I was under the impression that you started this topic and you mentioned a marriage breakup and you were the one referring to your private life.
There`s a contradiction going on there somewhere.

Hmm - a touch of the drama queens there. `How dare you mam ask questions when I have started this topic and mentioned a supposedly private matter as one of the talking points, you feminazi etc etc.` I couldn`t care less how you treat the women in your personal life but your dramatics and use of words like `feminazi` to put me down when you offer absolutely no real justification for it cause me to question just exactly what your problem is.

Hope there are big enough dummies where you are at the present.

chi-chi- · Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 194 Location: In la-la land

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN
We are all scheming against you, foreigner and Asian alike. There's no hope. We all like pretty, expensive things. And we ALL talk about you to our friends hahahahahahahaha Twisted Evil

We're all the same. There's no avoiding it, no running away. I have heard women bitch about their men in 7 different languages. And it's always the same. You know what they say. Wink

Chris12 · Joined: 25 May 2004 Posts: 98

chi-chi- · Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 194 Location: In la-la land

I am.
Hate the message but don't shoot the messenger! Laughing

carmenz · Joined: 24 Jan 2004 Posts: 20

Personally I have no problem with the Western guy/Asian girl relationship....none what-so-ever. If I see it, it doesn't really matter to me. I was taught not to think about race and that inter-racial marriages or relationships should be fine. Judge and you shall be judged, sort of thing.

But the reason I occassionally grimice at a Western guy/Asia girl relationships is because of some of the stupid and ridiculous insights I hear from men in these relationships. They are the ones who want to tell Western women why, why, why, they pick these girls. It seems so odd and gets so old. Most Western women realize that these Western guys just seem some how disgruntled and therefore are in search of something to change their lives because their lives are somehow not right or meaningful.

Well.....I think to myself if these guys want to stereotype all Western women as such and Asian women as such, then go ahead. This is just another bigoted person I am dealing with here--something I strive not to be. In time...I have noticed many of these Western men realize that they are the ones with the problems and not the girls. They are the ones searching for something.....women can pick all sorts of men and see different good and bad qualities in them. Most women don't associate any one thing with any one race or nationality.....so in a sense we are free.

I sort of feel sorry for the Western guy in search ONLY of a Asian women because I think they are never really going to find what they are looking for anyway....What they dream of is to love themselves and to feel happy with themselves. Nobody can give them that except themselves!!! These guys wish to be understood by somebody. I have seen a lot more disappointment from Western guys in the long run because they pray that if only they go outside their nationality and race they can be happy. But usually they just start to feel more lost because of the difficulty in understanding the other person even more....including their different culture, language, backgrounds, religion, financial picture and favored places to call home. I am NOT talking about a person who just fell in love coincidentally with an Asian women....but one who felt that was the only way.

But like I said...I don't care if a man likes a girl or a boy. She can be black, white or yellow...I don't care. Just don't try to dictate my life and we have no problems. And don't be a bigot yourself!!!!

lajzar · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Posts: 647 Location: Saitama-ken, Japan

Interesting, carmenz. What are your thoughts on western women who will only date asian guys? I have met a few in my time.

carmenz · Joined: 24 Jan 2004 Posts: 20

Sorry but I have NEVER met any women who only date Asia guys. I personally only know one girl who dates an Asian guy and he wears a baseball cap and acts very Western. She has had different boyfriends of different ethnicities, though.

bisca · Joined: 16 May 2004 Posts: 13

Cafebleu,

It iritated me when you said you cannot respect a man who still lives with his parents eventhough he's in his mid-20s.

Living with your parents til you get married is very common and even expected in Asian culture. Moving out is actually considered one of the worst 'betrayals' for parents. Also, in Asian countries, it's VERY important that you have your own house and a car (with your own money) when you get married . No one wants to live in a rented place or worse, with parents once they get married.

My point is, it's just their culture to stay with their parents. Can't hold it against 'em.

The Great Wall of Whiner · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Posts: 4946 Location: Blabbing

Here is "why why why" I date Asian girls:

I am in Asia.

I also do have a bit of yellow fever, but lately I have been getting sick of Asian girls in general and Chinese girls in particular.

They are very ignorant of the world around them. I mean, I can never discuss politcs, current events, or social issues with them without being attacked for "hating China" or "hating Korea" or wherever.

I can think of a million things right and wrong with Canada. I can think of a million things right and wrong with China. But many Chinese and ESPECIALLY Koreans can't see anything wrong with their country!

Sorry to stray a bit....

Western guys with Asian women?

Here is the question:

Why do western men and Asian women get together far more prevelantly than western ladies and Asian men?

Answer that one. I have my own theories however....