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Transitioning Home after Years Abroad
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nomad soul



Joined: 31 Jan 2010
Posts: 11454
Location: The real world
PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
scot47 wrote:
Coming back, after years away, and finding out that no one is interested in the fascinating life that you have led in all those years travelling the planet ! Most people do not want to hear about where you have been, what you have seen and what you have done.
....

Stranger in a Strange Land

You become foreign wherever you are - even "back home"

Learn to love your Alienation !

So true. It's even harder for third-culture kids---those of us who spent our formative years outside of our passport country. I lived abroad for nearly the first 14 years of my life as a US military dependent and subsequently, felt like a stranger---a foreigner---when my family "returned" stateside; the US was my 5th country. My sister, who's a few years older, experienced her entire education overseas. We both felt like fish out of water in the US, and frankly, I still do despite living stateside for many years. I'm a cultural chameleon and adjust quickly when overseas in other cultures, yet experience major culture shock when back in my passport country. I seclude myself from the general public and tend to only socialize with others who have had a similar life experience because they "get it."
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Dear nomad soul,

I'm a cultural chameleon both ways. I've never experienced any cultural shock, going or coming back

(Well, OK - when I came back to the States from Vietnam in '66, that WAS something of a shock Very Happy)

Never had a headache, either - and no seasickness, carsickness.

Must be genetic, I guess.

Regards,
John
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BadBeagleBad



Joined: 23 Aug 2010
Posts: 1186
Location: 24.18105,-103.25185
PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2015 2:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
nomad soul wrote:

So true. It's even harder for third-culture kids---those of us who spent our formative years outside of our passport country. I lived abroad for nearly the first 14 years of my life as a US military dependent and subsequently, felt like a stranger---a foreigner---when my family "returned" stateside; the US was my 5th country. My sister, who's a few years older, experienced her entire education overseas. We both felt like fish out of water in the US, and frankly, I still do despite living stateside for many years. I'm a cultural chameleon and adjust quickly when overseas in other cultures, yet experience major culture shock when back in my passport country. I seclude myself from the general public and tend to only socialize with others who have had a similar life experience because they "get it."


I am the same way. I was born in Mexico, but lived in the US for a good part of my growing up years. My father is Mexican, my mother is Irish (Mexicans and Irish are really a LOT alike, culturally) but we always lived in Hispanic areas, ate Mexican food, spoke Spanish at home, etc. So when we returned to Mexico when I was 17, I felt more comfortable in Mexico than in the US because it felt more familiar. I feel no cultural identification at all with Ireland, aside from picking up my mom´s habit of saying eejit and liking the music of Christie Moore. The reasons I don´t feel that comfortable in the US have more to do with feeling uncomfortable with people´s worldview, based on little more than seeing something on Fox News or just KNOWING they are right, no matter how much evidence to the contrary that you show them, pretty blatant racist, sexism and homophobia - the US really seems to be go backwards in terms of equal rights and most people don´t mind telling you they are all for it.
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beachtime



Joined: 04 Mar 2009
Posts: 35
Location: somewhere different
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 11:42 am    Post subject: Transitioning Home Reply with quote
When you come home for a holiday, everyone wants to hear about where you have been. You can usually pass a few weeks with family and friends and appear 'interesting'.

Move back permanently, you have nothing in common with anyone.

My family have always thought I was crazy to want to live and work in places that were considered dangerous or very different.

I have lived outside of my home country for over 35 years. I returned earlier this year, and still haven't unpacked my suitcases. I can't decide if I am ready to call this place 'home' again.

Aside from the medical cover, I can't find a good reason to stay. The thought of several months of snow each year gives me sleepless nights.

I agree with scot47 - I am a stranger in a strange land.
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 5:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Shalom aleichem
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esl_prof



Joined: 30 Nov 2013
Posts: 2006
Location: peyi kote solèy frèt
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
scot47 wrote:
Stranger in a Strange Land

You become foreign wherever you are - even "back home"

Learn to love your Alienation !


This.

After six years, I've more or less adjusted to be back home--to the extent that I ever will--but I'm also resigned to the fact that I'm never completely going to fit in again.
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esl_prof



Joined: 30 Nov 2013
Posts: 2006
Location: peyi kote solèy frèt
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2015 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
BadBeagleBad wrote:
The reasons I don´t feel that comfortable in the US have more to do with feeling uncomfortable with people´s worldview, based on little more than seeing something on Fox News or just KNOWING they are right, no matter how much evidence to the contrary that you show them, pretty blatant racist, sexism and homophobia - the US really seems to be go backwards in terms of equal rights and most people don´t mind telling you they are all for it.


All very true. It seems like such things have gotten significantly worse over the past couple of decades but, then again, maybe I just didn't notice them as much prior to my years of living abroad.
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