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So what's your secret to maintaining work-life balance?


Work Less. Play More. Go to Sleep.
Allison M. Vaillancourt
Chronicle Vitae

I ran into an acquaintance while picking up a few cartons of grapefruit-flavored LaCroix water the other day. I’ve known this woman for a few years and see her occasionally at local events or at the neighborhood grocery store we both frequent. She has a big corporate job and a cool haircut, and seems really interesting to me.

I’ve always wanted to get to know her better, but I have been rebuffed at every attempt. Anytime I have suggested that we get together for a drink or a walk, she has offered a version of, “Work is insane right now” and shared that she doesn’t have time for friends, or exercise, or much of anything else. About a year ago I just gave up asking.

Something different happened during our recent encounter. This time she said, “ I finally have time for one of those walks you’ve been proposing for so long.”

“That’s great,” I replied. “It’s about darn time.”

“I’ve got plenty of free time since I lost my job,” my acquaintance explained. “I’ve been kind of hibernating lately, but I’m ready to get back into things.”

Disappointed about her career setback, but excited about finally connecting, I texted her a few days later to propose a walk before work. She texted back: “How far do you walk?” I responded that I probably wouldn’t have time for more than two or three miles. Her response? “I’ll have to circle back. I can’t manage more than about 10 minutes.” Apparently her schedule wasn’t a problem any more, but her physical endurance was. Our text exchange made me sad and reminded me that sacrificing everything for a job is rarely a good idea. When things turned sour for my acquaintance, she was left with no job, a shallow support network, an empty social calendar, and about 40 extra pounds she had piled on over the last few years.

The only good that came from learning about my friend’s difficulties was that her story offered a little inspiration for a talk on personal resilience I’d been asked to give on my campus. I knew instantly that I had a solid story to illustrate the importance of self-care. But I decided to juxtapose it against stories of people I know who believe that attending to mind, body, and spirit is essential for career success.

Rather than just talking about the bad things that can happen when we don’t take care of ourselves, I thought my audience might appreciate learning about the practices of campus figures known for getting a lot done without complaining about how much they work or appearing to have their hair on fire. I emailed 15 people who would generally be characterized as highly productive and consistently centered and asked, “What’s your secret?”

To my delight, all 15 people responded within a couple of days. To my chagrin, two of them responded between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m., proving they are not truly balanced. They are just posing as people who keep everything together.

So what did I learn?

The most striking finding from my unscientific research study was the theme of rituals and routines. Every single person described something they do on a regular basis in order to maintain a sense of calm and focus. For some, their routines were things you might expect — daily exercise, a strict bedtime, a meditation practice, a healthy breakfast, or a nonnegotiable dinnertime with a partner or family members.

But other responses surprised me. One faculty leader shared the value of a “proper lunch” and explained that he bikes seven minutes home whenever possible and makes a healthy meal that he eats on his front porch before biking back to campus. Another colleague has a 10-year unbroken track record of rising before dawn to wrestle with hopes and worries in a journal.Yet another practices a ritual in the evening that involves sitting outside for 30 minutes before bed to look at the stars (the skies are amazing in Tucson).

The number of people who very intentionally schedule quiet or alone time fascinated me. One senior administrator said he sets aside 30 minutes of uninterrupted time each day to surf the web for new ideas. Another practices “Quiet Sundays” in which he does not make calls or check email until after dinner on Sunday evenings (unless there is a serious emergency). One of our information technology managers puts himself in “timeout” at home, during which his kids and spouse know that he has to stay in his bedroom alone for 15 minutes after work.

My favorite response came from a dean who intentionally vacations in locations with unreliable phone and Internet access. “I tell people, ‘I’m going on vacation. Do not try to contact me. I will back any decisions you might make while I’m gone,’” he said. “And it’s not like the roof is going to collapse.” Last summer he took a cruise and a flood actually caused the ceiling in his office space to cave in. “Oh, well,” he said, “they figured it out” without him. Not knowing about it let him enjoy his vacation and get the rest he needed.

My personal self-care commitments involve zealously using my Habits Wizard app and scheduling lunches, walks, or happy hours with people I adore. I also exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes a day, refuse to engage in workplace drama, and incorporate at least one fun activity into my daily schedule.

How about you? What do you do to take care of yourself?

Allison M. Vaillancourt is vice president for institutional effectiveness and human resources at the University of Arizona, in Tucson.

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