Job Discussion Forums

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

I don't find it very funny, but if it has annoyed some of the pompous 'arseholes that want to take over this forum, all power to Ludwig's elbow.

I find the following old joke better.

TALIBAN T.V.

Only available on Sky Digitaliban

6.00 G-Had TV. Morning prayers.
8.30 Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "Ah-ah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.
9.00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.
11.00 Jihad's Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.
12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.
12.30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on Americas attempts to take over the world.
13.30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some cooking.
14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.
14.30 Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.
15.00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions.'Starter for ten, no praying.'
15.30 I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.
16.00 Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.
17.00 Koranation Street. Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.
17.30 Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed for unislamic behaviour.
18.00 Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.
18.30 Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?
19.00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?
20.00 FILM: Shariah's Angels. The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.
21.30 Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?
22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel.
23.30 They think its Allah over. Quiz culminating in the 'don't feel the Mullah' round.
0.00 When Imams attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.
12.30 a.m. The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.
1.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.
2.00 A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again.

There is also an American version, but not surprisingly, it is nothiing like as funny.

Taliban TV Guide

MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "Bowling For Food"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"

THURSDAYS:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"
9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"

FRIDAYS:
8:00 - "Judge Laden"
8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
9:00 - "Who Wants To Execute A Multimillionare"
9:30 - "Achmeds Creek"
10:00 - "No-witness News"

Mark-O · Posted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 12:54 pm Post subject:

ls650 · Joined: 10 May 2003 Posts: 3484 Location: British Columbia

I find the Yank version much funnier actually. Shocked

Ludwig · Posted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 3:10 pm Post subject:

The picture was somewhat different, of course, in 1997:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/west_asia/37021.stm

Back then there was still the chance large US-based firms could 'buy' the 'rights' to run gas through their land without having to first concoct some fairy story about their 'harbouring' an alleged criminal and then bombing them (even further back) into the Stone Age (therefore any suggestion of human rights abuses against women there was simply dismissed as leftist claptrap). After all, to put this into perspective, England too harboured a (very real) criminal in recent times, in this case, Pinochet, though of course nobody dreamed of carpet bombing London or Manchester (let alone Bournemouth). The House of Saud also harboured a criminal, the Butcher of Uganda, Idi Amin for many years. Again, needless to say, nobody � at least to my knowledge � has suggested imposing sanctions on Saudi, let alone 'smart' bombing the numerous palaces there (and of course no one has suggested not buying oil from them, - perish the thought).

How silly of the (Saudi recognised and funded) Taleban regime to have thought they could have controlled their own resources!