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[senor boogie woogie]

Hola!

My complaint of the week here in China surrounds the English speaking channel CCTV 9. I must say that this is about the most banal, boring channel around. Boring news, incredibly boring financial watch and business shows, stage acts (mostly singing, dancing, and playing music) which are decent, but I can watch this anytime on any other channel in the system.

I wish CCTV 9 would play some programming from the USA, Canada, UK, Australia and elsewhere. Play some sitcoms, show a movie, documentaries, western MTV, David Letterman, Big Bird, soft porn, something besides this banal drivel.

I will say that there is one program that I do enjoy on 'Banal 9' is a show called "Around China". It is a 30 minute show that tells three stories, usually from the same province or area. But in the grand tradition of CCTV 9, usually two out of three of the segments are dull, while the third story is good. Also, the newscasters speak better English than I do. Not a total loss.

SENOR

[Minhang Oz]

Senor

Remember the stories your grandparents told you about how tough life was in The Depression?
Well, I won't bore you with tales of pre- CCTV 9 China, but basically your FE TV set sat in the corner unwatched and unloved because there was absolutely NOTHING to watch, unless you needed a chuckle and tuned into CCTV 4 English news. This consisted entirely of foreign diplomats, premiers, kings etc coming to pay homage to The Leaders in Beijing. " Jiang Zemin hails ties with Lower Zumboto", and so on.

The answer for us TV junkies is here!
1] download WinMX, a free peer share network.
2] choose your shows-great music, movies, very latest Simpsons, sitcoms [Friends etc] and other stuff you just might enjoy [nudge nudge]
3] If you'd like to keep stuff to watch on your 62 cm Konka, you need a CD burner [Sony about 600 rmb] a stack of blank CDs [2 rmb each] and a player for your TV.

Of course there's some other software needed to round out the experience-ask me if you can't find it, We've made 100's in the last 6 months, from Monty Python to Shrek to U2 in concert. An end to CCTV blues.

[Seth]

Another thing to do is to turn the volumn down and make your own voice overs for regular Chinese TV shows, kind of like Mystery Science Theater 3000. Myself and my British colleagues would have a few beers and go at it and laugh ourselves silly for an hour or so.

I wouldn't recommend doing that by yourself, though. Especially if other people might see you.

Hangzhou ren: I'll be at the Irish pub tonight, 9ish.

[hubei_canuk]

Channel Services
===========
Perhaps you people don't know this. There is pay TV in most cities.
You can get about 5 or 6 channels. Usually Englsh discovery channel, Star TV, CNN and another 2 movie channels one may be chinese.
Costs about 400 to 600 first year and then 50 to 100 each subsequent year.
What's that you say? Only one month left on your contract?
...
Thinking about how you just spent a year watching CCTV-9 and no one from the school told you about the pay for TV?
I'd really like to get pay-tv put in my contract everywhere.
Lets all get together and set a new standard.

[oprah]

CNN would be nice to get here.. but have you not discovered the Chinese soaps...?? I do not watch them in Canada but I love them here. ..even without knowing the language..

[RVN]

I was told about the pay tv like Star tv, and got very excited. Then I found out individuals cannot purchase it. First their company must buy the rights to it, and then their employees can get it for the 500-600 rmb. However the price that the company has to pay is ridiculously high. Anyone know anything else about this?

As for CCTV 9, I'm often asked if I watch it. I'm still surprised that some people are surprised that I find it so unbelievably boring and that I'd rather watch a Chinese soap opera. I also tell them that Ilike to watch CCTV 5 and the lcoal sports channel, to which they say "But you can't understand what they are saying, why do you watch it?" It's sport! I don't need to hear the commentators, in fact it's often a blessing that I can't hear their inane remarks.

[hubei_canuk]

[chinasyndrome]

Watch Yang Rei (Presenter, 'Dialogue') for a while and you'll see a trend emerging.

YR: 'Our guest today is an Indian professor of Ayurvedic medicine, and we'll be talking about its importance in the fight against SARS. Welcome, Dr. Cheepak Dopra.'

CD: 'Hello, it's nice to...'

YR: 'Let's begin. Do you think America is an imperialist aggressor?'

CD: 'Well... er...'

YR: 'Okay, let's talk about the 'Boosh' administration's attacks on Iraq's human rights policy.'

CD: 'Umm...'

YR: 'Dr. Dopra, you seem to be spending a lot of time defending the American imperialist system.'

CD: 'Err...'

YR: 'Yes, Dr. Dopra, I completely agree. America is trying to colonize the world. But do you think your obvious hatred is justified? This seems strange to me because Chinese people are, as you know, peace-loving people.'

CD: 'If I could just say...'

YR: 'With all due respect, Doctor, can we please come back to the topic at hand?'

CD: 'Well...'

YR: 'Dr. Dopra, you've said quite enough. Thank you. That was Dr. Cheepak Dopra discussing Ayurvedic medicine. I'm Yang Rei. See you next time... unless you're American.'