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Loneliness

 
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A.K.A.T.D.N.



Joined: 12 Jun 2004
Posts: 170

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:29 am    Post subject: Loneliness Reply with quote

A lot speaks of loneliness, alienation on these websites. I see the hardbitten language coming through on all fronts, even mine. It's a catharsis being able to vent your feelings, your emotions. But the loneliness of not being heard, and of living in another country, is probably the driving force for this forum.

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. . .
No, is the saddest experience that you'll ever hear. . .(not sure if the
lyrics are right,) kind of makes reflect on why so much infighting occurs on websites, particularly on Dave's and the Korean forum?

It could be loneliness, or the inability of others and mods to form a feeling of sensitivity to the community of fellow expats. Instead the boards bring out headbashing and belittling comments. I think this stems from loneliness, or alienation, since so many on these boards want to be the center of attention.

Uhmm. . .that may be me too, of course, but not in a selfish way. It's nice to sit down and have a chat, bounce ideas and get a good debate going. But lashing out at others' comments is something that should be taken seriously, since it does neither of us good.

I'm not getting mushy, am I? How about a big kiss on my butt? Wink

Just joking.
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Sinobear



Joined: 24 Aug 2004
Posts: 1269
Location: Purgatory

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A.K.A.T.D.N: Tell you what. If you believe what you've said in this post, and you need someone to talk to/with or someone to listen, PM me. Although it's not my place to jump into the Taiwan forums, I've looked at you posts and realize that maybe you are trying to find an outlet (albeit you have gone about it the wrong way).
I will tell you this; however, I am offering you a genuine and sincere chance to "discuss and be heard", one should never poke a Bear to see if it's only sleeping.

Cheers!
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kait



Joined: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 93
Location: Lungtan, Taiwan

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I recognize lonliness as a relevant issue in the ESL experience. It's one of the risks that comes with choosing this lifestyle. Unless you already have an engaging person to share your life with, one is left with trying to forge friendships with the limitted selection of foreigners in the area. For me, this is complicated by the fact that I really don't enjoy drinking very much. One drink in an evening is sufficient for me, and I also don't find drinking people that entertaining. This severely narrows my social opportunities. The locals are great, but it's difficult to really establish close, meaningful friendships with people who struggle with basic communication in English and whose language I am utterly inept at speaking.


AKA,

I found many members of this board helpful and enjoyable. I have only just begun to get to know any of them at all. I'm sure you could have the same experience here if you could ease up on over-generalizations of Asians. There are a lot of challenges to living in a new country. There are things that can be absolutely frustrating and seemingly illogical. When a person is overwhelmed by the differences of a new place from what they are familiar, it is easy to express things with great intensity. Perhaps it is culture shock. From what I've learned of many of the posters in this forum, they are commited to Taiwan and often are in loving relationships with the Taiwanese. This means that they are probably not the friends one should choose to vent with.

Just a thought.
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Big John Stud



Joined: 07 Oct 2004
Posts: 513

PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lonelissness is just another word for nothing left to loose!

One quote I go by:

"What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger!"

Every single person must experience loneliness! We come into this world alone and we go out alone!

Once you can be content with yourself you will be better able to accept others for who they are! Hang in there.
All the above quotes has meaning! Being lonely will motovate you to attempt to meet others, and maybe you will meet someone special. Being lonely will make you stronger and in time, you may find yourself alone but never again lonely.

Hang in there.
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A.K.A.T.D.N.



Joined: 12 Jun 2004
Posts: 170

PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Big John Stud"]Lonelissness is just another word for nothing left to loose!

One quote I go by:

"What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger!"

Every single person must experience loneliness! We come into this world alone and we go out alone!

Once you can be content with yourself you will be better able to accept others for who they are! Hang in there.
All the above quotes has meaning! Being lonely will motovate you to attempt to meet others, and maybe you will meet someone special. Being lonely will make you stronger and in time, you may find yourself alone but never again lonely.

Hang in there.[/quot


You're not left anything left here to choose but what you make of it.

I am quite content with myself. It's just the fact YOU ARE ALONE HERE, and this without an ending. That's why we have these boards, to keep us stimulated. THink about it. Unles you wan to join this culture and really become part of them, you're on your own here.

Yes, I'd love to meet others. BUt how!! Can you talk, or make them talk!! Can you express youself somehow, and make yourself heard!

Being along here, and on this board, make for a deeper sense of feeling that websites and baords make for us as lonely individuals, if I don't mind adding. I believe that only GOd gives somoone a complete understanding of freedom and peace, unlike these boards.
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Big John Stud



Joined: 07 Oct 2004
Posts: 513

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="A.K.A.T.D.N."]
THink about it. Unles you wan to join this culture and really become part of them, you're on your own here.

So why did you move to Taiwan if you are going to be so closed minded to their culture. Please don't take any offense! I am just curious.
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A.K.A.T.D.N.



Joined: 12 Jun 2004
Posts: 170

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 7:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Big John Stud"]
A.K.A.T.D.N. wrote:

THink about it. Unles you wan to join this culture and really become part of them, you're on your own here.

So why did you move to Taiwan if you are going to be so closed minded to their culture. Please don't take any offense! I am just
curious.


Heck if I'm closeminded. I'd rather be dead, working a deadend job back home. Unlike some of the others here might've suggested, I'm probably the most openminded here of most expats. I see things as a rather clearminde, unlikd some of the comments made to the contrary by others.

WHen I meant lonely, I meant, You can't exactly warm up to these people. You just can't. Unless you can speak Chinese, know their everyday colloqualizms and slang, you can' really make much of yoursefl other than a sort of a fool. No one wants to be a fool, or attention seeker.

Loneliness, is part and parcel of working overseas. I've met many of people, but most seem to want to use you for their advantage, or their kid's advantage, sometjhing I deplore. Being an adult-a far cry from a young adult-is not easy here. You must go it alone and be yourself, be who you are and debunk th ecultural baggage involved with just living abroad.

Sure, I believe in immersing yourself. But I don't believe in making yourself a fool. I can break out of my shell, and have, just to my roommate, But really. . .I don't care anymore. Loneliness depends on a state of mind, and thoughout most of the day, we have to live our lives unto ourselves, with or without others to help us. This is not to mention thos frozen-fish-of coworkers, those who can't understand your landuage is part of your culture too.
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Chris12



Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 98

PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello! I had been thinking of going to Taiwan to teach. I have been in Japan for more than five years.
A.K.A.T.D.N. isn't your discription of Taiwan like that everywhere.?I don't know where you are from, but trust me, in the U.S. most people will try to use you and get what they can from you even if you are an American. Shoot some times in the U.S. family members try to exploit each other!

However, the language barrier can be difficult. I remember when I first came to Japan! I meant some really nice Japanese but the language barrier just limited our friendship. I never blamed them! How could I? If you meant someone that could just greet you and order another beer in the only language you speek, the person would become boring after a while.
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