Job Discussion Forums

[gadfly]

Anyone here have a virtual relationship with a Turkish person. My fiance and I chat online all the time but have only met once. Is there anyone in the same boat. Personally I find it very frustrating on a number of levels. If there is anyone in the same situation maybe you can give advice to keep the relationship fresh and interesting. Personally I prefer real life contact myself.

[dmb]

You're engagaed and you have only met once! Wow!

[Ebenezer]

My friend, I have to quote dmb "You are engaged and you have only met once?????" WOOOOW!! Would you mind telling us why you have met your fiance just once??? How long have you been engaged? Ok, It's a "virtual age" , but I guess you are alone in this boat, pal... Kolay gelsin!

[bigbadsuzie]

Gadfly ,it seems you ask the same questions in a different way but after everyone and his dog has made their responsesyou have no comment to make .
In an earlier thread you asked about Turkish marriages and got a lot of replies ,but you made no comment after them,not even a thank you or an acknowledgement.
Is this thread going to be a repeat of that ?
Do you listen to any of the advice offered?
If this girl you intend to marry has only been ALLOWED to see you once doesn't that tell you something .

[Gregorio]

If both of you are in Turkey, why have you met just once? Is this a mail order thing... kidding, but seriously. How can anyone know if a relationship will work having met just once?

I actually met a woman in the states who met a Turkish man online. They started virtual dating... then she went over to visit him for a few weeks. She became entranced with the Euro Turkish lifestyle and got married while she was over there. The man wanted to move to the states, but the paperwork took some time so he had to wait. Anyway, he eventually made it to the states and the guy turns out to be a manipulitive control freak... unhappiness served on a tin platter. I'm not saying this has anything to do with him being Turkish, just saying that HOW CAN YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO YOU HAVE MET JUST ONCE!?!!

[gadfly]

Hi everyone: This is gadfly. First of all I would like to thank everyone for their responses to my letters. I guess I was remiss in this. Additionally, I would like to clarify that I had known my fiance for quite sometime before we got engaged. We corresponded through the internet for almost a year. Then we decided to meet in Turkey.I was in Turkey once this year and met my fiance. I did not mean that I only met her once. We became engaged in Izmir in Turkey. I spent over a month in Turkey so we knew each other in person and online quite well. We loved each other more in person then online. I met her family and spent most of my time with them as I stayed at her mothers house. They are very modern, liberal, generous and open minded.
However, I had to come back to Canada and we have had to keep our relationship online and through telephone calls until I go back to Turkey. I was just meaning that I miss the physical aspect of being together. Going on dates, taking walks, holding hands etc.,. I just wanted suggestions to surprise her romantically online until I get back to Turkey thats all. Thanks again for all your advice.

Gadfly

PS I have a teaching job in Turkey and am just waiting on my visa which should be in soon

[naf]

Don't mean to be negative but be careful, dude. You might want to wait a while and date here before tieing the knot. See what she really is like more out of the artificial context of internet messaging. See if you can deal with Turkish customs for a long period of time. Many couples who are not well informed about each others customs can break up due to culture shock. There are so many different expectations embedded in the culture.

Good luck.

[Gerrymouse]

Dear Gadfly, I can't help but admire you and your commitment and think that you can get to know someone very well, (if not better though written correspondences). You get to understand each others views and morals etc and fall in love with the personality without the restrictions of physical attractions etc. Go for it, I think after knowing each other this long, it could work out, I've known people be physically together for years and it not work out, you have to make more of an effort in keeping in touch by corresponding, can't think of anything romatic to do online except sending a lovey e-card ???? Good luck

[almuze]

Thinking like a turk - why are you waiting to get married? you are not turkish, so no military service, you have good job, and you have finished your college education, whats the hold up? I assume you are waiting until you get to turkey.... if this is the case, then you must be sure to not live in the same house as her parents. !!!!!!!!! not even next door!!!!!!! try across town, tell them you got cheap rent or it is closer to your school or something, and you should all be fine. can you write in turkish? romance in one's native language is always fun. good luck