Job Discussion Forums

[almuze]

Before I really being to ramble, does any one have a care-package happy person back home? My mother (lucky me?) really really loves to send things in the mail, and so far this is not working out. everything she has sent that is not "documents only" has been picked up and held in the customs house where they are charging us lots of money to pick up things like footy pajamas and stuffed bears. bah!
So, if anyone knows how I can recieve random gifts in the mail, let me know.
and now, the nonsense -
If a turkish woman serves tea on a tray in a turksh home, does it mean something differnt (in the big cosmic universe of symbolic meaning) than when an american woman serves tea on a tray in an american home? What if we switch it around and say the turkish woman lives in america, serves tea on a tray in her american home to american guests? does that make any differnce?

If an american man shouts at my kid in the street - "don't run, you'll fall", is this differnt than when a turkish man does the same?

what makes these experiences differnt? just the location? the intentions of those involved? how can you know someone else's intentions ? 'specially when you filtre your understanding thro your intentions and understanding....hmmmm well, at least we all know the sound of one hand clapping. got that one solved. phew!

[Ebenezer]

Hi! I guess you are a bit paranoid.... take a deep breath... ok, things are quite different here and you'll have to get used to it, but come on, chances are that if I man shouts "don't run or you'll fall", it means just "don't run or you'll fall", chances are that if you serve tea on a tray, nobody will think it means something other than "tea on a tray", calm down, ok? And how can we know someone else's intention? Could you do it in America? Can anyone really do it? I don't think so... relax, please, you'll be just fine if you stop trying to give every tiny little experience a symbolic meaning in the big cosmic universe! Don't worry, be happy!

[almuze]

thanks soooo much! A deep breath is exactly what I need to take! To be honest, we came back in feb, and spent lots and lots of time visiting turkish relatives, in very small towns...( 5 years in america turned my husband into the prodigal son) and so I haven't actually spoken much (any!) english to anyone other than my kids in about ...say 9 months. now we are in ist., and getting set up, so things will be easier.... plus, with esl cafe I can read as much english as I want! huray! many deep breaths, many deep breaths.....

[Ebenezer]

Hi, I'm glad what I said brought you some relief! I think you need friends! I am a 26-year-old woman, married to a Turkish man, too! I know what you are talking about! If you want we could meet one of those days, I am not working right now, I live on the European side, but it's not important, we can meet if you want! You really need to talk to someone!
You'll be fine, believe me!

[almuze]

yes! I would love to meet some time! can I just say that I have tried to meet some english speaking turks here and it has generally notgone over very well. My husbands family is from Tosya (so so so the wrong side of the tracks for Forward Thinking Western Turks, it turns out) and, generally speaking, I like his family, aside from universal in-law issuses, they make good grandparents, and send me yummy soup mix, this is also very problematic for Forward Thinking Western Turks...... anyway, we could get into all goory details over coffee... we love to take the ferry. let me know

[Ebenezer]

OK, what about next Tuesday afternoon, say, around 2 o'clock? We can meet in Besiktas, I can pick you up when you get off the ferry, is it ok with you? See you soon!