Job Discussion Forums

[hubei_canuk]

[gerard]

Nosferatu has been banned??? What will I do now??? So the reason I interrupted my DVD was to ask this. Where can we find minhang oz cigarette lighters???

Just joking m. oz is a cool dude. If he doesnt mind being called a dude.

NURSE!!! NURSE!!! ha

[Minhang Oz]

Gerard
You'll go far....possibly Urumqi this summer. As for merchandise, my lighters will be available with selected KFC meals for a short time only.
You may refer to me as "dude", even though my OED says its a colloquialism, of which of course I don't approve, as I am narrow minded with no sense of humor.
However, you're a promising young man, and there's a place for you on my spaceship which will take The True Believers to our new planet, Ozeria. It is spit and SARS free, with 24 hour hot water and no-one calls you laowai.
On the down side, you'll need to learn to speak Australian.
ps Chastenosferatu will be with us, although he looks more like Sideshow Bob at the moment.

[ESL Guru]

Is Australian difficult to learn? I heard that it may be best to try learning it while sitting in a jail cell. Is that true? Did Australian develop as a language in the convict ships that took the criminals from England to Australia?

Could someone give me a serious answer? Inquiring minds want to know? ( At least that is what the National Inquirer claims and they ought to know, shouldn't they?)

[chinasyndrome]

Sung to the tune of 'I started a joke' (Bee Gee's)

"I started a cult, which started the whole forum flaming!
Oh, if I'd only seen
Minhang Oz as he screa - ea - eamed!
I looked at the sky, wanting to cry, when he said goodbye.
Now he's back in the fold
HC got told
Now we're back to the 'old'."

Brother MO! Woooooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooo!
I tied an electronic ribbon round the old PC tree.

Okay, enough sentimentality. Onto more weighty matters.

'Australian' is not learned - it's acquired. True, there was a time in the Dark Ages when one required a prison sentence to learn it, but in the Age of Reason it is freely available to all inquiring minds (some would say 'dangerous minds') with an IQ above 140.

However, as with all languages there are derivative forms. In Australia the derivative is 'Ocker' - a dialect practiced on this forum by WozfromOz, otherwise known as Wokka the Okka. This is a complicated dialect, not so much in that it is difficult to learn ( a lobotomy helps), but in that it requires a costume:

dark blue vest, preferably frayed at the edges;
'Stubbies' (tight-fitting shorts - usually size 34 - with an obligatory (some would say mandatory) size 86 gut hanging over the edge;
blue thongs (flip-flops to non-Aussies and Ockers);
little or no arse but bum crack definitely showing to at least 10cm. (It should resemble the slot where you swipe your credit card - but don't ask for any change) ;
a cigarette hanging out of the corner of the mouth, preferably with a minimum 4cm 'dag' of ash perpetually hanging on;
a 'tinny' (can of beer) in one hand (Four Ex - XXXX) if you're a Queensland Ocker, Swan if you're from Western Oz, VB (Victoria Bitter) if you're from the arsehole of the world state (Victoria) and boutique beer from a micro-brewery if you're from Sydney.

MO, in terms of the marketing angles to be wrought from this thread, my guy will contact your guy. I'm well under way on some unique stuff. Like the Minhang Oz toilet freshener that turns the water brown. Then there's the 'victory salute t-shirt' with a head shot of your humble self with 5 knuckles coming out the top.

I've appointed Egas to handle all point of sale - his SARS Clearance Sale gives him a lot of valuable insight and experience.

Sunaru is working on toilet rolls with a face (guess who) on every sheet. Sunaru is, after all, an expert on uranus - or so I'm led to believe.

Miss Molly - or should I say Mrs Molly is designing some knuckle dusters.

Arioch is working on an adjustable cigarette lighter/blow torch.

And me, I'm working on the largest percentage I can squeeze out of the deal.

Welcome home, Dear!

[arioch36]

Wow, Wow, Wow...I'm impressed (of course, that'a easy to do) Once we get the monsewer lushed down the drain, you become a pretty handy chap with the words. Hope you're not "happy' or something. Oops , need to delete the next joke. Gotta try..to be good. try real hard

[chinasyndrome]

[quote="arioch36"]

[scot47]

If crazy people get banned from this forum why are we still here ?

[yaco]

ESL GurU - Try this website to learn the Australian language.

www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html