Job Discussion Forums

donfan · Joined: 31 Aug 2003 Posts: 217

Do you think that after spending a considerable amount of time overseas one can ever fully fit in and adjust back home again?

I have tried it several times and each time become depressed and longing to go overseas again.

I am ready to embark on my fifth overseas experience and can't wait.

Are we forever doomed to be torn between two places?

Mouse · Joined: 24 Dec 2003 Posts: 208

I think that maybe we are.

In my experience, at least, I no longer fit in with the people and culture back home (I'm now "the one who left", but then my hometown's a bit like that) and I'm never fully accepted by the cultures that I move to (as I'm always "the foreigner"). Perhaps enough time in another culture, especially one where I looked like the locals and could get a good accent, would help... but there always seem to be things that you just "don't get" whether in terms of humour, popular culture, political references and the like.

On my good days, I think of myself trading that sense of belonging in order to join a 'global community': a group of individuals who're no longer fettered by outmoded concepts of nationality... or something. Not sure how true that is, though.

shmooj · Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1758 Location: Seoul, ROK

Nomadicity beckons. I always wonder how my nomadic lifestyle would affect me if I was an individual with no ties. Having a wife to share it all with gives a terrific sense of community as we bounce around the planet.

I've started to loathe the way people put you in a place-box as soon as they meet you with the dreaded question I can never answer in any way which pleases them: Where are you from?

It's almost like, once they can place you, they can dispense with the bother of knowing you as an individual.

struelle · Joined: 16 May 2003 Posts: 2372 Location: Shanghai

Will. · Joined: 02 May 2003 Posts: 783 Location: London Uk

I am entering year 4 "back home" and it is a lot harder than going abroad but there are benefits too. I no longer have to get rid of stuff i will not be abler to take home..I stick it in the garage.
The global community has become smaller for me as most of it is now online.
I think the way forward is to visit many places on a short term basis of a week or two and combine them all together into a world tour and just repeat the input at each place, but do it once every 3 or 4 years. just so you don't forget how much more ....it is here and there.

Mouse · Joined: 24 Dec 2003 Posts: 208

Guest · Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 3:39 pm Post subject:

After my first 10 months in China, I returned to Australia to tidy up my affairs and say goodbye to everyone. I really felt that I did not fit in there any more (not that I really had at any time) and I counted the days until I could return here.

When the plane landed in Shanghai I truly felt as if I was coming home and now that I have just finished my 15th month, I know I will never wish to return to Australia to live. I have actually known it from Day 1 of being in China. I really cannot explain why, but some people will understand - without an explanation. They are the people who have fallen in love with the Country and its people just like I have.

The people in Australia seemed loud somehow, and they drank way too much beer. They seemed very rough compared to the Chinese men, who are more gentle.

There was no feeling of community or belonging in Australia like I have here.

carnac · Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 7:24 pm Post subject:

Rhonda - I feel the same where I am. Each time I go 'home" it feels more and more strange. I look around with new eyes and see things that I suppose were always there and I just never noticed. And I am so very happy to return to my new country.
Maybe someday I'll go back to live, work, study, whatever, but the reverse culture shock is interesting, psychologically. How strange to be uncomfortable in one's "native" country. But, maybe that's part of why we left in the first place?
I ask myself, have I changed so much, or am I the same but I see more clearly?
I'd be curious to know how many of us left to teach abroad not simply for a job or a desire to see new places, but perhaps from a hint of dissatisfaction with "home"?
What the hell is "home" anyway? I think I have forgotten.

kev7161 · Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Posts: 5880 Location: Suzhou, China

I guess I'm just the opposite. I've lived in China for about the same length of time as Rhonda and, quite frankly, I'm bored with it. The main reason I left the US was my life had been pretty non-eventful. At that time, I was 41 and realized I wasn't getting any younger. The first year here was frustrating and the second year is just . . . blah. I don't know what I was hoping to find here but, whatever it was, I didn't find it. I've gone home 2X since coming to China and both times I was quite relieved (don't ask me why I didn't just stay home - all my crap was still here). I guess I am destined to live a life of mediocrity, but I can still find excitement back home - - even if I have to create it myself.

Who knows? Once I move back next summer, I may change my mind and come to a realization that others have. But right now my feet hurt from all the walking I do and my knees hurt from all the stair climbing I do. I'm ticking off the months.

Guest · Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:47 am Post subject:

I can tell you where "home" is. Home is where your heart is (these quotes have stood the test of time) and my heart is definitely in China.