Job Discussion Forums

[guest of Japan]

My wife works as a temp staff at an international finance company in Tokyo. Up till now our salaries have been about the same, though she has to work more hours.

A little while ago I got a short email saying that her boss had asked her if she want to be a full time employee. If my wife takes this position she'll be making oodles of money, but I doubt we'll see each other too much and the stress might take a toll on our relationship.

Our plan was to go to Boston in about a year and a half to live and set up life there. I was going to go back to school about a year later. In the meantime I was going to get my teaching certificate for Massachusettes and try to land a teaching job. She was going to study English for a while. This will cost us a pretty penny to do, but we were working toward it.

Any advice on how to approach this?

[Glenski]

A year and a half is still a long way off, and if you don't mind getting taxed more heavily for your greater income, I'd say that your wife should take the job until then. Yeah, I wrote that it's a long way off, but it is still short enough for you and her to weather any stress problems and issues of not being home much. Look at what you have down the road instead of short term facing you.

[taikibansei]

I think your concerns are valid, but that job sounds like a great opportunity...for the both of you. Returning to the States, we've found that my wife cannot find full-time employment. Period. She lacks both the qualifications to teach and the work experience (somehow, teaching English and math in a Juku just doesn't cut it...) to land a job in an international company. In particular, she really regrets not getting business experience (she had opportunities in Japan...and turned them down) before coming to the States.

We saved a lot of money before coming back, but that money still went surprisingly quickly. Now, my wife, 4 kids, and I are living off my faculty salary (and her small income from Japanese tutoring). Things would be so much easier if she could find a f/t job, and she is looking; the rejections have been piling up, though.

Your wife's job will help you both save up more money for the move, and may position her for a decent job State-side as well. And yeah, you may not see each other as much for a time and the stress might take a toll on your relationship--but it might not. Heck, despite 4 kids under 6 (including 3-year old twins!) and all the stress that adds to our relationship, we're still (barely ) surviving here. Knock on wood....

[guest of Japan]

Thank you Glenski and Taikibansei for your responses. It's nice sometimes to here a voice that doesn't come from my head.

We sat down last night and talked about the opportunity and we both agree that it is the best for us if she takes the position. I think would both regret her not taking the opportunity more than any of the fallout that may come because of her doing it.

Taikibansei, you brought up a reality that has been nipping at my mind for a while about the opportunities for your wife (and mine) back in the US. My wife hasn't even attended university or lived abroad, so this is a really good opportunity for her. In the US she can't really look beyond working in a Japanese restaurant until she gets a lot more education. I think this experience will help her more clearly define what she wants to do in the future and financially enable her to follow the path if it difffers from the one she is on.

Now I've got to go about finding extra employment to equalize the wages or I'll have to do a lot more dishes and laundry.