Job Discussion Forums

[MyTurnNow]

To paraphrase Tevya in "Fiddler On The Roof" talking about poverty...
It's no shame to be laowai...but it isn't great honor, either.

As a foreigner you are often admired, envied, despised, and inferior. Simultaneously. In this land of infinite dichotomy it shouldn't be too surprising that a lot of Chinese are certain they are completely superior to you while also feeling a strong streak of inferiority. You are an object of unrestrainably intense curiosity. You are also a primo entertainment opportunity in the incredibly drab lives a lot of ordinary Chinese lead.

As others have indicated, those giggles can be (but aren't always) a cover for shock at seeing you and embarrassment at being unsure of what to do next. Remember that to yourself you are just, well, _you_, but to many Chinese you are quite an exotic and alien apparition.

I've found that in the vast majority of instances being friendly can make all the difference. A smile can work wonders. Paying attention to a small child can open hearts. Offer cigarettes to men...a near universal sign of friendship among men here. If you are offered one, take it...even if you just put it in your pocket and say "yi huir" ("yee hwar"; "later"). It's a friendly gesture and a sign of some acceptance. Smile a lot. Shake hands. Be open to a different standard of politeness.

It doesn't always help, and you dont have to take any crap off of anyone. I can curse a blue streak in Chinese if I have to, (humiliation is your most powerful weapon here!) and am not afraid to beeotch-slap someone if things really get ugly. But try being friendly first and persist as long as you can stand it. Follow the peaceful way. It can make the difference between anger and frustration on your part and hostile stunned bewilderment on the part of the Chinese, and a positive, enjoyable experience for all concerned.

MT

[Tao Burp]

MT,
Thanks for that post; where I am in the sticks, I need to remember your comments on even my worst days. Well stated insight.

[MyTurnNow]

Thanks, TB. I'm NOT in the sticks, but I still have to forcibly remind myself of this every day.

MT

[ESL Guru]

"Haole" is the Hawaiin word for foreigner with sick (white) skin used for the first Europeans and Americans to visit the islands. It was a respectful tag. Over time, as foreigners became a bother, it became an insult and remain so today.

Foreigners in Japan are treated with respect. Sometimes when they wish to really make fun of a foreigner they show him so much respect that everyone knows they are being disrespectful.

Throughout the Pacific Islands they have words that may be taken as respect as well as an insult.

In America we have words like "geek" which meant weird engineering student with a pocket full of pencils and pens in a plastic pocket protector. Now it refers to a young rich IT genious like Bill Gates, the ultimate geek.

Here in China it is the same. Laowai can still be respectful depeding upon who is saying it and the circumstances under which it is said.

Pedicab drivers say Hello laowai and I am not insulted. But the drunk in the bar says laowai and you just know the guy has a death wish.

[nimra_ghalat]

It's interesting to read these posts, since I first went to China (to study minority languages) in 1986, and things don't seemed to have changed much. One thing that did change, though, was that way back when, the Chinese expected everyone to speak Chinese, whereas I remember revisiting in '94 and you'd hear people following you in groups saying "Do you speak English?" "No, I don't, you speak English?" "Tee hee!" etc., etc.

My question/comment: isn't the "lao" in lao wai the same as in mei guo lao ("Dirty American")? In this case, no respect is implied, just the opposite! Same word/character, but different meaning. Just because a term is commonly or casually used doesn't mean it's not derogatory: Brazil nuts used to be called "nig ger toes" up to the 1960's!

I spent a little over two years in China, and really did not enjoy being jeered at and never got used to it. In Xinjiang it was mostly the Uighurs that did the jeering, since the Han often couldn't tell a foreigner from a caucasian-featured local. I remember being so fed up with the jeering at one point that I started only going out at night, but stopped after some Uighur girls, in a pitch dark alley, saw me look away rather than stare straight at them like an Uighur would have, and they yelled out "Foreigner!" as loud as possible. Geez.