Job Discussion Forums

Tamara · Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 108

Moonraven,

I'm sure you applied negative intent where I only meant positive. I've been trying to tell you I like your poem, but my sentiments have been received by you as suspect from the very beginning. At no point have I been condescending towards you or anyone else on this board. I politely decline the invitation to comment further.

Paulie2003 · Joined: 29 Mar 2003 Posts: 541

I'd like to enter the contest if I may:

Like a rocky mountain height -
That pierces the sky,
A fortress
Where only eagles fly -

Or a moon in the night -
that conquers with it's light,
Leaving only shadows in our sight -

How futilly I grasp
that which has already passed -
I await...the stirring once again.

Like a cold winter's breeze
That rushes through the trees,
Cutting to the depths of the soul -
Or the warm summer sun
Whose fire has just begun
To be felt...with the warming of its glow.

By these things I am reminded
Of the power of His Word -
Too often disregarded,
Left unheard -

Oh the challenge to be one
With what I cannot see -
But His hands are molding me,
And His Spirit is setting me free...

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

I don't believe this was a contest.

And even if it were, the operative label was "poetry", not " Hallmark greeting card".

Paulie2003 · Joined: 29 Mar 2003 Posts: 541

Now it's a contest...and who asked you to be a critic...

Leave good poetry just where it should be...on Daves ESL!!

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

I get paid to be a literary critic. Have been since 1965.

You wouldn't know a poetic image if one bit you.

Look up "cursi" in a Spanish-English dictionary. And "banal". And "babosada".

Learn something there in El Salvador--with its Mayan ruins that you sneered at.

Paulie2003 · Joined: 29 Mar 2003 Posts: 541

They weren't 'Mayan' - they were Pipile...maybe you could learn something from me!!!

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

There are Mayan ruins in El Salvador: Joya de Cer�n, for example. Tazumal, for another. Check them out--get you out of the rubber room for awhile.

Paulie2003 · Joined: 29 Mar 2003 Posts: 541

Do you honestly think they'll let me out!?

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

Hard to say.

I sure as heck wouldn't.

Paulie2003 · Joined: 29 Mar 2003 Posts: 541

Well...I'll just say what any good poet would say in a situation like this...
the second stanza:

As a river running wild
Like a stallion that's been riled -
Breaking with the power of the wind.

Or a Spirit runnin' free
Like a fire in a tree -
Consuming...but not consuming me.

By these things I am persuaded
Of the power of His Word
To often disregarded -
Left unheard...

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

Those are THREE (3) "stanzas", oh fountain of ignorance about literature.