Job Discussion Forums

[Ann]

Well, for your west coast folks, this may not be such a treat.
But we enjoyed having him at our ESL Symposium in NC.
Thanks Dave! You are funny and SO YOUNG irl!

[veiledsentiments]

Our Dave, he does get around. I met him back in 1998 at the TESOLArabia convention in Al-Ain, UAE. And he was even younger!!

VS

[johnslat]

Will someone please explain to me what is so great about being young? Funny? Sure, that's a wonderful asset. But youth??
Been there - done that. Wouldn't go back again.
Regards,
John

[Irish]

John:

My mother was the oldest of five sisters. When she was 22, she shocked the hell out of her family by marrying my 44-year-old father. (His family was shocked too--they couldn't believe that any sane female would hitch herself to him, let alone a hot young babe like her.)

A few years later, one of her sisters married and soon divorced a guy her own age. Another married a guy two years her junior. The divorced one remarried a man twenty-one years her senior. Another married a guy nineteen years older than her. And, upon graduating from college, the baby of the family married one of her former professors, who was twenty-three years older than her.

"What's all that about?" I asked once at some family gathering. One of my aunts replied, "We prefer men to boys," to which the others heartily agreed.

The moral? I've no idea. But it just goes to show that there is a certain segment of the population that finds curmudgeons attractive.

[johnslat]

Dear Irish,
. . . . there is a certain segment of the population that finds curmudgeons attractive. "
The technical name for that segment is the wise, discriminating, judicious section.
Regards,
John

[scot47]

When we got married, I was 46 and my still-charming wife was 23. This would probably be illegal in the politically-correct west but is okay where I hang my hat.

[scot47]

When we got married, I was 46 and my still-charming wife was 23. This would probably be illegal in the politically-correct west but is okay where I hang my hat.

[some waygug-in]

Hmm.. so there's still hope for me yet.

Cheers

[veiledsentiments]

Goodness, I hadn't been thinking of Dave's youth to suggest that I wished to marry the fellow. (perhaps I could adopt?)

But now that I think about it, being beyond 50 (but not as beyond as JohnS), the idea of the younger male does seem more appealing. If I were to follow the path of the discerning women of Irish's family, my market would be pushing 80!! Since my nursing skills are limited, I can see a problem.

So, now what? (this is making the assumption - highly unlikely as it is - that I was intending to hit the marketplace) Irish? JohnS? Scot?

VS

[Irish]

Aloha VS

Funny you should mention the older woman-younger man thing. In July, I'll be 35. Last month, I was minding my own business at a bus stop when a guy made a pass at me. As these things go, I have to say that he was very polite, very subtle--I barely realized what was going on until he asked if I wanted to "you know, like...hang out together sometime or somethin'." Articulate, witty, nicely dressed, great smile--I would've said yes if only I could've gotten my head around the fact that he was all of 20 years old! Come on--I'm old enough to be his mother (well, in some parts of the world anyway).

But I can see where the older ones would be a problem for you. How about a guy pushing 80 with a tricky heart, no heirs, and bucket loads of cash to console you in your time of mourning? The black dress is a fashion classic, after all, and you'd then have enough money to keep all the younger males you like. Two birds, one stone. (Just joking, boys.)

[Ann]

I mentioned the youth factor because I hadn't expected Dave to look so young. His photographs on the web don't do his "youth" justice, so to speak.
Nothing to do with being better.
I think most women go for older men but as they get older their preference change to favor the younger ones. Ah! Life!

[veiledsentiments]

Yeah Ann, that Dave is just a whippersnapper. Don't worry about SlatNScot - those guys just won't admit that they are jealous.

(not really, they are pretty contented fellows for the most part...)

You just brought up a difference between men and women. Women start out liking the older guys - until they get older, then the young ones begin to appeal. Whereas men tend to continue to prefer the same age - 20!!

Whatcha thinka that SlatNScot??

Hey Irish

My mom always said to pick 'em young and bring 'em up right. The Anna Nicole Smith system is theoretically appealing, but I don't think I am ready for the reality.

VS

[Irish]

Well, if the fellas are getting sensitive about their age, we must be getting closer to achieving true equality between the sexes.

veiledsentiments:

One of my friends said almost the exact same thing: "He's young enough to train--once he hits twenty-four or twenty-five, all his bad frat boy habits will be too ingrained to break." It's a point, but I simply can't see myself dating a guy who needs a fake ID to go dancing with me. Oh, well--it was very flattering nonetheless.

Interesting how women's tastes seem to change with age while men's tastes generally stay fixed. (Note the word generally--exceptions abound as always.) Maybe it's biological. Perhaps the gentlemen will share their theories on this--I'm curious to hear what they think.

SlatNScot...sounds like a hardware store.

[johnslat]

" but not as beyond as JohnS " ( see Subject Heading )
Dear veiledsentments,
What's this? Do I hear you contemplating acquiring a " boy toy ", an " American ( or other nationality ) gigolo "? For shame, woman - only we MALES are allowed to " rob the cradle ". Well, SOME males, anyway - the ones who can trade wealth, position and status for . . . hmm, it'll probably get censored. Shun crass, shallow youth - stick to tried and true geezers. Time-tested and dependable. You won't have to wait until the honeymoon's over for us to take you for granted. We'll do that before the wedding. You won't ever be able to complain: you don't send me flowers anymore. We'll never send you any to begin with. " Sensitive about our age " Irish? Real men are NEVER sensitive about ANYTHING. " Getting closer to achieving true equality ". Good Lord woman - why would you want to lower yourselves to achieve that? Do men's tastes generally stay " fixed "? I don't know. Mine haven't, but heck I'm an exceptional guy. But I think some people - men and women both - never make it much, if at all, out of adolescence all their lives. It's called, I believe, " arrested development ", and admittedly, more males it seems, from my exprerience, get arrested than females do.
Regards,
John

[veiledsentiments]

Tis Irish that is flirting with the boys at the bus stop. Now if some woman may want to sample those younger men - see if boy toys are for you - the Middle East would probably be a good place to try. Morocco and Egypt come to mind quickly to find handsome young studs who will do anything for a chance at a passport. I won't even tell you how many of my students seriously proposed to me when I was teaching in Egypt - you would think I was bragging. I told my friends that I had to be pushing 40 before I became such a symbol of feminine pulchritude. Whereas in America all I got was come-ons from the guy at the gas station that looked like Steiner's avatar.

Seriously I have always wondered about the long term attraction to someone 20 years younger. Perhaps the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation isn't that important to some people. Wouldn't one spend a lot of time not knowing who or what the other person was talking about? I feel that a shared history has importance. But then, what the heck do I know, I'm just an opinionated old broad who is happily single in America's heartland.