Job Discussion Forums

[AndyH]

My girlfriend, who is Japanese, and I plan on getting married in August. Soon thereafter, we will move to Latin America, where I have a good job waiting for me.
She wants to go, but I worry about her getting homesick. For those of you who have gotten married to Japanese people and don't live in Japan, any suggestions? We plan on coming back to Japan as much as possible, but that won't aleviate the problem entirely. Any suggestions or advice from those of you who are in this situation would be appreciated!

[Sweetsee]

Hi there,

Has she ever been abroad? (no pun intended)

[AndyH]

She lived in London for a year, and she has also travelled in North America, Europe, Australia, and other parts of Asia. She's pretty adventurous and open-minded.

[JZer]

My real question is why are you moving to Latin America when you have a wife!! That is the place you should go when you are single!!! All I can say is nice butty!!!

[taikibansei]

[AndyH]

Thanks, Taikibansei! Your advice makes sense. She is currently studying Spanish, and we practice as much as possible. The place where we will live (Antigua, Guatemala) has A LOT of small Spanish conversation schools, and is very "foreigner-friendly".
The trick will be keeping her from getting bored. After a while, the novelty of being a in a new country will probably lose a lot of its lustre, and she will have to have things to do that are fulfilling.

To answer JZer: I'm moving to Guatemala because my mom owns a successful business (a bar and restaurant) there, and is ready to retire. Japan has been great, but I don't want to be an eikaiwa teacher for the rest of my life, and my girlfriend wants a change from the Tokyo rat race as well. Also, in the part of the US where I'm from (Oregon), the economy sucks, and my only hope for a decent-paying job at this time, if I were to go back there, would be to return to my old profession, law enforcement, and I don't want to go back to that!!

I spent quite a bit of time in Latin America as a single guy, and it was great!!!!! I suppose it will be quite different to return as a married man.

[Lynn]

I'm married to a Japanese man. We left Japan 4 years ago. One thing that I've noticed is how important food is to Japanese people. Go ahead and splurge and get a proper rice cooker. No matter what struggles he has here in the states, he is always comforted with the fact he can come home, take a nice hot shower and sit down to Japanese rice and green tea.

[Sweetsee]

Good for you AndyH,

From the sound of it I don't see you having any troubles. Your wife has it going on and so do you. In fact, you are about to do what I have been dreaming about doing all my life.

Is there a beach near your Mom's place? Sounds right-on! I envy you.

I hear Guatamala rocks. Maybe I can open a business there? Tell me more about it, when are you going?


Good luck to you.
Enjoy yourelves,
s

[Brooks]

don`t be suprised that at some point she wants to go back to Japan. From what I have heard, it`s tough when you are married to someone from another country. Deciding where to live is a challenge.
I have a Japanese wife, and we live in Tokyo, and she hates it. She wants to go back to Osaka, or at least closer than where we live now (Kanagawa).

A lot of Japanese only want to live in Japan, not overseas.
I have met so many foreign students in the US, and the Japanese tended to be the ones that went back to their own country. The others (Koreans, Chinese, Germans, etc.) wanted to stay.

[LA Galaxy]

She will get homesick and miss her family, no doubt about that. She will miss friends and other things she likes to do in Japan. In the short term make sure you have good communication and think about whether or not you will have kids where they will be raised,etc.

My wife has lived in the U.S for over 5 years and has a B.A. from here and still she gets homesick at times and worries about her aging parents. She is the only child left in her family so she feels kind of guilty being so far away from them. Also they cant see their grandkid for long periods of time.

Include your wife in your family life and even problems. My wife gets mad if I dont tell her all the details about my mom's illness and such. She wants to be included, not left out. I think your wife will be fine in the beginning, just think about long term plans and what she wants in the long run.

[johanne]

My husband is Japanese and we have been living in Canada the last 6 years after spending 3 years together in Japan. The first few years were quite good. He got homesick at times, but for the most part was enjoying the new lifestyle. However, the last couple of years he has become more and more homesick. A big part of it is his work. He is gardener, trained in Japan to create and maintain Japanese gardens and here in Vancouver he basically has to be self employed to make a decent salary and while he has handled the regular stresses of being in a foreign country which the longer you stay in, the more you realize is quite different from your own, but the stresses of being your own boss kind of put him over the top. We are heading back to Japan in July. I've managed to get a very good job there starting in August and he's very excited about going back. We also have a 3 year old daughter, who at the moment speaks little Japanese so we're also going back to give her the language and culture. Someone else mentionned aging parents. and that is also a consideration for us as my husband is the oldest son. Luckily, my job is in the same neighbourhood as my in-laws, who are still very active, but it will be nice to be close to them for their health and for some babysitting relief on our part. Anyway, for us other factors have crept into our decisions about where to live. I was very happy when I lived in Japan before so have no problems heading back, but I don't see it as a lifelong move. Probably you and your girlfriend will have many interesting decision ahead of you as the years move on about where to live and why.

[Sheep-Goats]

I think we forget that most of the people in the countries we're from will tell you that they prefer to live there forever and don't have very good reasons as to why.

Make sure she has something to do. Volunteer work with kids, teaching Japanese, llama jousting, whatever. And get a decent internet connection.

[homersimpson]

[David W]

[JZer]

Brooks wrote: