Job Discussion Forums

[basiltherat]

can anyone help me with the essential difference between the following. Ive asked my one and only colleague here and done a search even consulted grammar books but with little substantial result.

Thank you. That's so nice of you.
Thank you. That's very nice of you.

To me it feels like the speaker is much more surprised in the former.
Any other ideas ?
Thnx
Basil

[denise]

#1 sounds more formal.

d

[Chris_Crossley]

In my experience, it is best for native speakers to resort to their own innate knowledge of how words in their language are used and base their explanation of words upon their (own) contextual use rather than having to rely on grammar sources, as they are not necessarily the most reliable ones to use and may cause people to question whether they really know the grammar in context.

If anyone were to ask me the same question that Basil was asked, I would say that there is no difference at all in the meanings between "so" and "very" in the phrases quoted. Both are indicative of polite usage, and emphasizes how (more) appreciative the speaker is in a way that may become clear if "so" and "very" were absent. The "surprise" element that Basil mentions is a perfectly valid one, so the use of the adverbs helps to reinforce this.

I would just say that "so" and "very" are interchangeable in this context with no change in meaning.

[Stephen Jones]

I would say it is a matter of ideolect, though you could argue that 'so nice of you' is in fact indicative of an upper middle-class British social dialect.

[Kent F. Kruhoeffer]

I dug this up with the help of Mr. Google:


QUESTION

Hello. I have a question regarding the use of the words "so" and "very". I am not sure which word is actually correct. I have a teacher with eighteen years under his belt, who has written two books, and says that "very" is correct because "so" doesn't indicate quantity and because it doesn't modify words. An example of the problem is this: Would you say "That tasted very good", or "That tasted so good"? Recently, a few of my friends have dared to question my grammar ( I try to be perfect in it), saying that their teacher says "so" is better than "very". I figured that I would consult a professor, so here I am. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks


GRAMMAR'S RESPONSE

Your friend surely overstates the case when he says that "so" doesn't modify words. What else can it be doing in a perfectly acceptable sentence like "It is so hot today"? The point of the matter, however, is that my sentence about this beastly hot month of May assumes a relationship with my listener or reader that might not be appropriate in written text.

Burchfield describes it this way:

The speaker has a conviction borne in upon him, and, in stating it, appeals, with his or her 'so', to general experience as a means of confirmation; it means as you, or as we all know.

This is a natural use, but one more suitable to conversation, where the responsive nod of confirmation can be awaited, than for most kinds of writing. In print, outside dialogue, it has an air of unnecessary emphasis.

It seems, according to Burchfield, that this use of what he calls the "appealing so" ought to be eschewed especially in longer, more complex sentences. In brief sentences in speech or other casual language � in a friendly letter, say � there's absolutely nothing wrong with using so in this manner.

Authority: The New Fowler's Modern English Usage edited by R.W. Burchfield. Clarendon Press: Oxford, England. 1996. Used with the permission of Oxford University Press.

The original thread is at the bottom of this link:

http://cctc2.commnet.edu/grammar/grammarlogs3/grammarlogs428.htm

~

[dyak]

[phis]

No difference at all, really:

However, in the spoken language it is much easier to be 'dramatic' using 'so'. Try it out in a dramatic situation in the classroom.

[Guy Courchesne]

That's it. Dramatic. Emphatic. Maybe sarcastic?

So nice.

[shmooj]

Alexander's Longman English Grammar mentions (p140) that so can replace very in informal exclamations as an intensifying adverbial.

But, again, you can't beat Swan who, in on p537 of the new ed of Practical English Usage says: