Job Discussion Forums

[woza17]

For English corner on Sunday I am introducing the topic of cross racial marriages. I need some ideas and some interesting anecdotes. I have been searching the internet and found the bibles slant on it but I think quotes from deurmodary (excuse the spelling)a bit dry and irrelevant for China. Should I do one of those talks starting with "what is marriage" or cut to the chase and go to the statistics? Why is one race attracted to another? Marrying up or down that sort of stuff.
A few weeks back I was asked, do foreign women like Chinese men? Because its seems foreign men like Chinese women.
I have had 2 Chinese boyfriends, one in Australia and one in Hong Kong. Both great men. But when I tell my students that, they seem amazed and a bit gigglish, so I don't want to take it any further, but I do because of their insistence. There was an interesting post on this forum about foreign women going out with Chinese men in China and the response on the street and the negative feedback.
When I first started at my school in Hubei I was the second foreign teacher, the first women, a women from Canada, had fallen in love with the P.E. teacher (he was married at the time with a 13 yo daughter and could not speak English nor she Chinese) anyway to cut a long story short he married her (divorced his wife) to get a green card and as soon as he arrived in Canada he stayed with her for 3 days and then pissed off. The women was devasted and had a breakdown, she even went on national TV to tell her story, the Chinese community in Canada expressed there outrage. The Chinese English teachers looked on and didn't say anything to her, not because they didn't want to tell her what was happening but they knew that she was so smitten she would not listen.
A follow up on that is to stay away from the P.E. teachers, at one banquet at the same school another P.E. teacher proclaimed that I was the only person that understood him, now coming from someone that only speaks Chinese and me enough Chinese to cover a postage stamp in Lilliput, well we all had a good laugh at that one. God I miss the banquets' they were such a laugh, its cleaner her, lots more money but a bit boring.
Regards Carol

[woza17]

I ache in the places where I used to play

[Mac]

There's a lesson to be learned here in the fact that 2 people from different cultures need to be able to communicate with one another to understand each other. In this case the Canadian teacher needed to be cautious when dealing with a married man. The green card is a valuable ticket that other Asian countries covet. I am very careful when I am approached by women who see me as a walking dollar bill. My heart goes out to this Canadian Teacher.

[Peter]

I got married with a Chinese teacher.
Both of us were very lonely before we met. she was divorced for 9 years and had been without any close relationship.
In my case I was slowly leaving a disintegrating marriage by going to China.

It was a case of needing physical contact and daily comfort with a human being who wanted to be supportive.

I often marvel at the good luck at finding her, for all the world, in China.
Now we are planning to leave China.I am aware of the Green Card Syndrome and I have seen it close up with two other mixed couples.

I suppose I will not be caugh that way; we are over the age of those who were deceitful, while she is one of the most transparent people I know

[Joe C.]

Don't know about Canada, but supposedly in the US the kind of scam that the PE teacher pulled on the foolish Canadian can't happen.

Anybody have details?

[william wallace]

nothing to say

[Anne-Marie Gregory]

Going back to the original topic of conversation corner. When I showed by old students photos of my friends, they were horrified that I'd been out with someone who wasn't white (I'm white)....'but he is Black. Why did you go out with him?' 'He is very lovely', I said in my best Chinese English. Some of my students here wanted to swap photos cos 'I have only got Blacks on this one'. They also described people with dual heritage as 'hybrids' so you'll need to do an ABC of Racial Awareness.

[tess]

Sounds interesting but I am not really clear about your goals. Is it the racial aspect you really want to focus on ? Or inter-cultural ? Do you want to have a discussion about racial discrimination or about what makes a good marriage ?

Perhaps you could begin by asking them to describe their ideal partner as well as the type of person they would never consider marrying. You can egg them along with suggestions about boozers, gamblers and so on.

Then introduce the cultural factor. Discuss the perceived pros and cons of marrying an ethnic Chinese who had grown up in a "western" culture. How about someone from a different Asian culture ? How about a "western" person (may or may not be caucasian) ? What do they look for in a partner and how is this reflected in their responses to the questions above ? Also ask them to talk about the happiest marriage they know of.
What makes it that way ?

Hope it goes well. Let us know what you did.

[tess]

Just re-read your post and I think I now get your drift. However it's a mighty large- though fascinating - topic to cover, touching on biological, psychological, sociological, gender and cultural influences in attraction and in choice of life partner. You could probably write several PhD's on this !The "green card" stories are essentially a different issue, in my view.

Take a look at this site for some ideas and possible leads (though not many answers).

http://zoology.okstate.edu/zoo_lrc/zool3113/Lecture10.htm

Good luck and hope you'll keep us posted.

[woza17]

Thanks for your intelligent responses, especially you Tess. I love English corner and I just want to introduce the topic and let them go. I have observed some English corners where the speaker never shuts up or gives the students a chance to talk. I will check out that website, to all thanks
Regards Carol

[Kapt. Krunch]

Is crosscultural different than interracial?? To us yes..to most of them..no.

I'm a Hybrid and proud of it. I even have refered to myself in jest as such and worse. Why not?? I am the genetic compilation of two continents and born on a 3rd. I have every genetic advantage and few disadvantages.
Does this make me somehow less valuable...no. Does it make me less useful..maybe to some.There are fewer ways to control me. I don't have much use for "tradition"(as my very existance is an act of rebellion), and am not bound to a place or a person outside of my nuclear family.
Scientists have a special term for enhanced performance due to hybridization. "Hybrid Vigor". Explain this to your students if they are advanced enough to understand. I doubt they will be able to adequately appreciate the concept.
Yours Truly,
Ultraman
P.S. Thats not my real name...