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matttheboy · Joined: 01 Jul 2003 Posts: 854 Location: Valparaiso, Chile

The recent retirement of Kevin Keegan from football provided the nation's media the chance to take the p*iss.

Maybe you could use some of the following in class to prove that even though someone is a native English speaker it doesn't necessarily mean he has a firm grasp of the language...or how about teaching idioms or cliches and playing spot the co*ck-up?

KEVIN KEEGAN: A CAREER IN QUOTES

After several whole seconds' hard thinking, we concluded there was no better way to celebrate the career of a man who once uttered, "Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders," than by looking at some of his finest oratories. Enjoy...

"People will say that was typical City, which really annoys me. But that's typical City, I suppose..."

"If I had a blank piece of paper there'd be five names on it."

"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none."

"By the end Asprilla was knackered-o. I think that's the Spanish for it."

"They're the second best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that."

"He's using his strength and that is his strength, his strength."

"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw."

"The tide is very much in our court now."

"There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight."

"It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney."

"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg."

"It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card."

"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time."

"The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it."

"That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved."

And the single defining moment of his career, complete and uncut in all its glory: "When you do that with footballers, like he said about Leeds... I've kept really quiet, but I'll tell you something, he went down in my estimations when he said that. We have not resorted to that, but I'll tell you, you can tell him now, he'll be watching this, we're still fighting for this title. He's got to go to Middlesbrough and get something. I'll tell you honestly, I would love it if we beat them, love it."

From:http://football.guardian.co.uk/Fiver/0,4022,1435833,00.html

thelmadatter · Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:39 pm Post subject: ha ha

Not being a football/soccer fan and a mere American, I didnt understand all of them but the ones I did made me laugh.

We have a similar personality by the name of Yogi Berra who regularly mangled the English language as well, including the classic "It's deja vu all over again"

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

Berra also said, when asked what time it was: "What, you mean now?"

But the US also has someone more currently in competition with the language-fracturers: George W. Bush. Now only does he "know how hard it is to put food on your family", but he has inspired the proliferation of literally hundreds of web sites dedicated to the task of keeping up with his malapropisms on a daily basis.

Just do a search for Bushisms, and laugh all the way to Guant�namo....

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Ex-VP Dan Quayle is pretty high on the list, too.

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

For the Canucks out there, Chretien offered up some classic 'franglais'. Don't agree? The Chretch will put a choke hold on you. Ask Bill Clemmet.

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

Part of Dubya's problems may well be genetic. Because his father was considered intelligent, and liberals had a certain amount of sympathy for him, and because compared to Dan Quayle anybody was a genius, his grammatical gaffes were underreported. However there are large numbers of constructions which don't seem to have raised a red flag with him as they would with nearly all other native speakers.

Malapropisms and other howlers are a different matter.

Football commentators are well known for being in a league of their own. It is not coincidental that the kind of mistakes Keegan is making are termed "Colemanballs" in the UK, after a famous football commentator of the sixties.

Yogi Berra is a different kettle of fish. Stephen Pinker in "The Language Instinct" puts him in a list of linguistic geniuses with Shakespeare. Certainly somebody who can come up with such gems as
"Nobody goes to that place anymore. It's gotten too crowded", is on a higher plane than Kevin Keegan.

But of course, Yogi Berra wasn't a native speaker - so his superiority is understandable :)

Deconstructor · Joined: 30 Dec 2003 Posts: 775 Location: Montreal

When asked, "What do you talk about with you dad besides politics?" Bush answered, "P*ssy".

once again · Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Posts: 815

I think that Stephen Jones' comment about David Coleman being famous in the sixties is about two decades out, but nontheless.just put "coleman balls" into a search on google..and there is hours of entertainment...

grahamb · Joined: 30 Apr 2003 Posts: 1945

During a visit to the troops in Iraq, President Blair made a speech in which he referred to "weapons of mass deception." It registered 10 on the Freudian slip-ometer.

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

Speaking of slips, I thought Blair was PM, not President....

grahamb · Joined: 30 Apr 2003 Posts: 1945

The British press frequently describe Mr Bliar's (oops... Freudian typo)style as being "presidential". My reference to that odious creature as "President" is 24-carat sarcasm. In future, I'll use inverted commas to make it clear.
I've read that he fancies himself as the first President of the United States of Europe. Pass le sick bag.

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

once again · Joined: 27 Jan 2003 Posts: 815

Stephen, you said that Coleman was a famous football commentator of the sixties. To my interpretationm this means that he was famous for commentating on matches in the sixties. You have shown evidence of his other commentating areas from that era, but none for football. It would be interesting to note how many football matches he commentated on in the sixties and what gaffes he made relating to said events at that time.
Thanks in advance,
Once Again.

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

Ok, I should have said sports commentator, though it looks as if he commented some football for most of his career.

Nicola H · Joined: 07 Apr 2004 Posts: 11

I had the 'pleasure' of watching a Dubya press conference last night (well TV's not too great out here- thank the lord for CNN/BBC World). I can't watch him reply to questions without thinking of Joey in Friends... smell the f*art acting- gives him just about enough time to remember the official line, then get it confused with something else.