Job Discussion Forums

[rafomania]

Aside from the teaching part, how would you describe your social life in Mexico. Are your friends mainly teachers, foreigners, Mexicans or a mixture of all?
How easy/difficult is it to integrate into life in Mexico?
Have you felt a bit more lonely than you have liked?
Many thanks from a noisey Londoner
rafo

[thelmadatter]

Social Life? Where do I find time for that? OK OK

Its been difficult for me, but I am an introvert by nature. Not a good trait for Mexico, I will admit. I have bouts of lonliness, sure.

My friends/acquaintances are split fairly evenly between Mexican and other foreigners. I got a Chinese friend of mine (who is in China) interested in working here however! Should be interesting to have her around.

[swagg]

Are you in Mexico at the moment Rafo? Or heading that way? I'm due to arrive at the end of April so depending where you're at it'd be good to hook up with some people. Not quite sure where I'm going to end up yet. I'm waiting to hear about a job in San Juan del Rio but if that doesn't come off will probably try Guadalajara.

Cheers
Another noisy Londoner

[rafomania]

I'm not in Mexico yet. I'm hoping to head on out around Sept/Oct. Iv'e never been there before, just had several Mexican friends when I was in University. The culture fasinates me which is why I want to go and see it!

[rafomania]

swagg, are you already a tefl teacher? Do you know Mexico? I was thinking about doing the teacher training in Guadalajara. What you doing in London?

[Flo]

The thing I have found in Mexico is that you can make tons of friends here, but generally you have to be the one to make the first move. I know the city I am in is known for the coldness of the people, but if you say "Buenos dias" or "Buenas tardes" to people first, they will be more open to talking to you. I think when people here see foreigners, they assume that they are tourists and/or snobs and that they don�t understand Spanish. Once you talk to them, they will likely want to know a lot about you.

The Mexican teachers at my school are not super friendly, and none of them are people I go out with. Of the other foreigners I know, I am still friends with only one of them. The other foreigners I have met are not the most honest or trustworthy bunch, so I try to avoid them. (Hummm, maybe there is a connect here for why the Mexicans don�t talk to us.)

When I first came here, most of the people I knew drank a lot. Yeah, it was fun to go to the clubs and parties, but after a while hanging out with the drunks became burdensome. I decided to ditch the drunks and get some new friends. I ended up meeting a great group of people (which I had to initiate of course) and through them I met more great people, including a great boyfriend. I can honestly say that my social calendar here is fuller than it ever had been at any other place I have lived.

In the end, don�t be afraid to talk to people. I think some newcomers are intimidated by their lack of Spanish skills. Talk, talk, talk. If you try to strike up a converstation with someone that doesn�t want to talk, who cares? You will probably never see the person again...there is nothing to lose.

[ls650]

I get along fine with all the foreign teachers. I am good friends with about 4 or 5 of them. I also have a couple of Mexican friends. That's enough; I'm not much of a social butterfly.

[swagg]

I qualified as a TESOL teacher last October and have since had a couple of residential teaching posts in sunny Watford. So it's a pretty big thing heading halfway across the world but I can't wait to get out there (except I've gotta go for my jabs tomorrow ).

I've been freelancing as a copy editor over here in London for the past couple of years but, as with all self-employment, it barely pays the bills.

Have never been to Mexico and guess I have the same apprehensions as everyone else. I think it's easy to sometimes dwell on the negative stuff you hear, like the crime aspect, etc. But then again, I just poked my head out of my front door here in London and heard what sounded like a bunch of kids beating the crap out of each other in the next street. This forum's a lifesaver though, when you realise you're not the only one feeling a bit nervous.

I've started to learn Spanish but it's pretty hard to retain (must have killed off a few too many brain cells), but I was dead proud today when I booked a hotel room in Mexico City over the phone in Spanish. I get the impression if you make the effort people will usually try to help you as much as poss. I guess we'll see if I've got a room reserved when I arrive

So Rafo, what're you doing at the mo in London? I like the sound of Guadalajara myself, just depends what happens with this other job I'm waiting on. Don't have too much of a plan if that falls through so am open to suggestions from anyone out there.

Rob

[M@tt]

Hi,
I don't live in Mexico any more and in fact, I only spent a year there so I'm not well-qualified to talk but I'm going to give my impression anyway. I spent almost all my time with Mexicans from every level of society except the poorest so my experience was pretty diverse in that sense.

Mexico is not cosmopolitan. At all, really. So in 98% of the country, I imagine the fact that you are foreign is going to be your defining quality for the first several times people meet you. Now of course you may get lucky and meet someone who barely notices your bad Spanish, pasty white skin, etc. etc. But what I found in Mexico is that real friends are difficult but possible given plenty of time. When I left there were people I had spent enough time with that I felt we were getting over that hump and starting to relate to each other simply as two friends, but it took quite awhile.

By the way, don't discount people who initially "befriend" you because you are foreign or different-looking. Otherwise you will spend all your time alone!! It's natural for things to start that way, and only time will tell whether something more substantial will develop to replace that when the novelty wears off.

Lack of spanish in the beginning could obviously play a big part in any difficulty. Even with good Spanish, though, I think that it's hard to get past the feeling of 'otherness'. Mexicans have a very strong national identity, not much exposure to foreign cultures apart from the US, so it takes awhile to get through the intial stage of assumptions. If you're British you can expect to be lumped into their impressions of Americans unless you have visibly non-European origins.

I feel like I'm getting off topic here.. Bottom line, true friendship in any country almost always takes lots of time and work. Mexico is no different. My caveat is to be more cautious early on because as a foreigner, many people will only see you as passing through and treat you accordingly--stand you up for social dates, "borrow" things and never return them, etc. Having said that, I'm still in touch with a handful of Mexicans via internet and they are always asking when my next visit will be. They're great friends and great people. The most important things for me were a thick skin, optimism, and time.

[moonraven]

If you are genuinely interested in Mexico--its history, culture and people--you will have no trouble making friends. I made friends--who are still my friends a dozen years later--quite literally from the very first day.

If you are coming to Mexico for other reasons than those indicated above, you will probably be looking for other foreigners. Foreigners running in packs are common in some areas of Mexico, and that phenomenon is very polarizing. If you want to make friends here, do not fall into that behavior cycle.

[Guy Courchesne]

Moonraven...welcome back. How was the trip? To keep in context, I certainly hope you got to visit some distant friends.

[rafomania]

Thanks for your views guys. Mexico is a place that does interest me. The music, food, history, land and people. From this end it seems like such a vibrant country. Thats why I want to go there and experience for myself the country. That, together with a desire to start teaching will hopefully make my journey worthwhile.
By the way swagg, I'm working at Hertford Regional College right now just outside london. Where did you do your course?

[moonraven]

Thanks, Guy--actually, I will be traveling for awhile--so really should have said "there", instead of "here".