Job Discussion Forums

[gerard]

What is wrong with these sentences?? By the way they were written by a very good student.

1) When I was entering into a dark room I felt very nervous.
2) When I am sitting on the soft bed, I feel very comfortable.

I think the problem with 1 is the specific "a dark room." Many other fragments could be inserted here and the sentence would be fine.

2nd May be fine Ahhh Chinglish at it;s best

[Sherri]

It depends on what exactly the student is trying to say. Here are some possibilities--I am sure there are more:

1) When I was entering into a dark room I felt very nervous.

to

When(ever) I enter a dark room I feel nervous.
or
When I entered the dark room, I felt nervous.

2) When I am sitting on the soft bed, I feel very comfortable.

When(ever) I sit on a soft bed, I feel very comfortable.
or
When I sat on the soft bed, I felt comfortable.

Ask the student what he/she meant exactly. Were these sentences written with any context, or were they in isolation? Why were the students writing sentences like these? Was it to practice a grammar point? If so what was it?

[Kereru]

If #1 is part of a narrative & the tense is ok, I'd have a problem with "entering into" - some redundancy there, which I'm seeing a lot of in the early writing of my EAP students. (A tendency to embellish, using every possible adverbial conjunction & preposition they've learned.

BTW as a non English trained teacher (a former science teacher) I frequently encounter constructions that I know are wrong but I can't explain why!!

[johnslat]

Dear Kereru,
There is redundancy in that sentence. You can enter into an an agreement but you enter a room.
See meanings 2, 3 and 5 ( intransitive senses ) and 4 and 10 ( transitive senses ) for some examples

Main Entry: en�ter
Pronunciation: 'en-t&r
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): en�tered; en�ter�ing /'en-t(&-)ri[ng]/
Etymology: Middle English entren, from Old French entrer, from Latin intrare, from intra within; akin to Latin inter between -- more at INTER-
Date: 13th century
intransitive senses
1 : to go or come in
2 : to come or gain admission into a group : JOIN -- often used with into
3 a : to make a beginning <entering upon a career> b : to begin to consider a subject -- usually used with into or upon
4 : to go upon land for the purpose of taking possession
5 : to play a part : be a factor <other considerations enter when money is involved>
transitive senses
1 : to come or go into <enter a room>
2 : INSCRIBE, REGISTER <enter the names of qualified voters>
3 : to cause to be received or admitted <enter a child at a school>
4 : to put in : INSERT <enter the new data into the computer>
5 a : to make a beginning in <enter politics> b : to go into (a particular period of time) <enter middle age>
6 : to become a member of or an active participant in <enter the university> <enter a race>
7 : to make report of (a ship or its cargo) to customs authorities
8 : to place in proper form before a court of law or upon record <enter a writ>
9 : to go into or upon and take actual possession of (as land)
10 : to put formally on record <entering a complaint>
- en�ter�able /'en-t(&-)r&-b&l/ adjective
- enter into 1 : to make oneself a party to or in <enter into an agreement> 2 : to form or be part of <your prejudices shouldn't enter into it> 3 : to participate or share in <enter into the spirit of the occasion>
- enter the lists : to engage in a fight or struggle.

Probably the biggest problem in English - in every subject area - for learners is that words have so many different meanings in different contexts. Context is of prime importance.
Regards,
John

[Capergirl]

Like the others here, I immediately noticed the redundancy in sentence #1: "entered into". One enters a room, one does not enter "into" a room. I also have a problem with "When I was entering a dark room, I felt very nervous." In truth, I'm going to have to look this up to find out what the exact rule is, if any, but on gut instinct alone, I would change that to either of the following: 1. "As I was entering a (or the) dark room, I began to feel nervous."; 2. "As I entered the dark room, I felt nervous."

[Capergirl]

Almost forgot about sentence number 2. I would change "When I am sitting on the soft bed, I feel comfortable." to "When I sit on the soft bed, I feel comfortable." Again, I will have to look it up.

[johnslat]

Dear Capergirl,
Regarding that 2nd sentence, I think again it all depends on the context. I don't see anything wrong with the sentence itself ( grammar or syntax ) that the right context wouldn't explain. If, for example, someone is reminiscing about a specific bed, then " When I am sitting . . " would be fine. Kind of like saying, " When I'm posting about grammar on Dave's, I feel ridiculous ".
Regards,
John

[Sherri]

I agree with John. Actually both sentences require some context before we can comment. We don't know what the student is trying to say.

[gerard]

Thank you 3 for the help...Sherri I'm afraid there is no context but I know what you mean. I gave a homework assignment : Illustrate the meaning of these words by using them in a sentence. (Such as comfortable , anxious etc.) Maybe it was not a fair question on my part. Anyway I think they have a tendency to try to impress and start using overly complex sentences and get themselves in trouble...

Awkward yes but I am still not sure if these sentences are unacceptable.