Job Discussion Forums

[fizayded]

Okay, been here a few months now in Machida, and do foreigners just seem less friendly? I'm not talking about tourists or the army guys, but other people here doing the same thing as I'm doing. I'm talking about small talk in the train or what have you, it seems like the foreigners arent as friendly. I kinda miss random chit chat with people cause my Japanese is very beginner. Maybe its a tokyo thing ...

[Doglover]

[Brooks]

Machida is in Tokyo.

I think you should go to Japanese classes taught by volunteers.
On the Yokohama line, classes are offered in Naruse, Fuchinobe, and in Hashimoto.
The people in Hashimoto are friendly. Maybe Mr. Oikawa still volunteers there.
In Fuchinobe, classes are taught at the International Living Center.
Machida has an international forum where you can learn Japanese.

Classes are also given in Sagami-Ono (on the Odakyu line). The teachers there are good teachers.

Machida is convenient for getting to Shinjuku and Yokohama. Many people transfer there, and can be in a hurry.
It has prostitutes and drug dealers too. It has become seedier, since the cops cleaned up parts of Tokyo. The pimps just decided to relocate.
So, many parents don`t want their kids to loiter there, and my wife just hates Machida because parts are seedy and it can be very crowded. 800,000 people live in Machida city.

[Synne]

I dont think it boils down to "No time for Chit Chat".

I think it comes down to the individuals personality.

If I see a foreigner I will do my best to start a bit of chit chat because honestly where is the harm in it?

I am either greeted with the same friendliness or completely shut down.

Its the same back home, some ppl like to talk and be friendly, and then some dont.

I live in Tohoku, very rural compared to Tokyo and its the same thing.

[Glenski]

Exactly what language do you expect all foreigners to speak? If it's English, you may be surprised. Just because one looks non-Japanese, that doesn't mean one speaks English.

What sort of "random chit chat" are you trying to start anyway? Are the people dead tired, reading a book, talking to someone else, or doing something that they don't appreciate being interrupted? What time of day are you doing this?

I agree with the others. If you want some chit chat, go where it is expected.

[fizayded]

I'll act more like my usual robotic self next time.

[Sherri]

Hi fizayded

I found I went through 3 phases of saying hi to non-Japanese in Tokyo.

1. First year, said hi to everyone! Not everyone said hi to me.

2. Next 5-6 years--averted eyes on street and did not like to sit next to "gaijin" on trains.

3. After that, did not care and happily said hi to non-Japanese. Did not care who replied, most did and I had some nice chats.

There were a lot of French families in my old neighbourhood (Mejiro) so I learned a few French greetings.

I did not make of point of saying hi to people in the center of Tokyo where I worked because there were too many.

Sherri

[SEndrigo]

I don't think it's a Tokyo thing, I think it's a question of personality....I live in the Machida area so I know exactly what the OP is talking about.

I've found that some foreigners are friendly (regardless of what language you speak with them, be it Japanese, English, Italian, etc) whilst others are not.

If a foreigner starts a conversation with me, I'm always polite and I always try to inject some humour into the conversation. I know very well what they are going through, living in a foreign country.

Random "chit chat" with Japanese people is going to be next to impossible unless you know conversational Japanese and are comfortable speaking....however, there are always going to be people who will try to leech English off you...I avoid such people like the plague.

Long-time foreigners who act snobbish are just absurd....they should just crawl back into whatever hole they came from.

I've started conversations with random Japanese people in Tokyo and I've found them to be polite...I've never had a problem with someone not responding.

[nawlinsgurl]

I totally feel you on this one. When I first got here I was suprised to see other foreigners *purposely*ignoring me, especially when I said hi or something. I was in Fuji, in Shizuoka, and no one said anything to me. And I mean when I'd see a foriegner there I'd go crazy...well not literally, but it was pretty exciting especially since I rarely saw anyone.
Some people may not speak English as others had mentioned. I was in Yamanashi-ken, in a very small community and saw a group of foreigners backpacking. I spoke and they all looked at me like I was an alien. Then one younger girl muttered broken English. They were Brazilian.
But I am in Kanagawa now. A lot of foreigners talk to me now and I do the same. I sometimes find it odd when someone will walk right up to me and talk. I hav noticed that in Tokyo people are usually rushed or busy and maybe they don't have time to talk or be friendly....I'm not really sure. I suggest you get active in your local area and you will find very polite and friendly people who are worth your time.
Hope this helps!

[Celeste]

My husband is a one man welcoming party to all other foreigners - I am more of a reciprocal kind of person. (I am a bit shy of strangers, but if someone greets me first I am very polite and friendly.) Here in Fukuoka, most people will say hi back to my husband and some are extremely talkative with me too. THAT SAID, we took a recent tour to Kyoto, and my husband was quite surprised at the cool demeanor of the foreigners there. I assume it is because there are so many tourists around that the old hands don't feel much like talking. We are the same in Canada. When my husband goes out to a pub to watch a hockey game, he is soon chatting away with people he has only just met. I, on the other hand, will speak to those who introduce themselves first or to those I see often, but tend to be a bit shy with total strangers.

[wintersweet]

This was a never-ending controversy when I was in Taiwan. I don't care one way or the other, personally. Just because someone is Caucasian or black or whatever other "obviously foreign" cue, doesn't mean I have anything in common with them--plus there's lots of Asian-looking "stealth foreigners" around you, anyway, so it's really kind of pointless. That said, I always smile whenever I make eye contact with someone, wherever I am.

The funniest "THANK GOD! A foreigner I can talk to!" moment for me came when I was going through a major subway station in Taipei. This woman came running up to me--I'm pretty obviously not Taiwanese--and exclaimed, "Do you speak English?" "Yes..." "I can't speak Chinese! How do I get to xxx?"

The funny part is that she was Japanese.

[JimDunlop2]

I'm not particularly friendly to other foreigners. I treat them the same as any other person I see walking down the street, be they Japanaese or otherwise.

It has nothing to do with a "get of my cloud" phenomenon either though... However I do try to be careful because it seems that many Japanese have this mentality that all foreigners must like each other -- they automatically make friends with each other and the entire foregn community knows one another.

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Do you know *Mark?" (Or any other name for that matter). Just because they are also foreigners doesn't mean I know them.... Or like them... or hang with them for that matter.

I have been told by Japanese people that they are concerned about "gangs" of foreigners or that they create a foreign "ghetto." I suppose it doesn't help to break stereotypes when you have an entire apartment building that's 100% foreigners either..... That's not my situation but certainly one of my friends lives in such a building.

Last year, I was at work when the kyoto sensei came running up to me during the school festival, with a huge grin on his face... He said (in Japanese) there was someone he wanted me to meet. So he produces this American girl, who he had just met and thought it'd be cool if he could watch 2 gaijin talk in their own language... (Look, the monkeys can do tricks!) He was very quickly disappointed (and quite suprised) when we spoke to each other in Japanese... (Heck, I didn't know she was American... She could've been French or Peruvian for that matter....) The kyoto sensei's look of disbelief was just classic. He uttered a quick, "Sugoi! Nihongo ga jozu" or something similar (I forgot exactly what he said) and then scurried off. My conversation with Ms. Randon Foreigner ended quite quickly when we both discovered that we had absolutely nothing in common, and really had not much to talk about as we were absorbed in our own activities at the time.

I have no problem if someone introduces me to someone because we have the same interests, hobbies, etc, etc... But to do so just because we have the same skin color or ethnicity is just plain stupid.

"Oh look! He's Chinese... She's Chinese too. Let's get them together! Maybe they can fall in love, get married and have cute little Chinese babies!" Sheesh! Gimme a break!

/sarcasm
//rant

P.S. fizayded: This is not aimed at you... You had a legitimate question, but maybe my rant gives you an idea of what some people may be thinking/feeling when you see them and they aren't all smiles and sunshine...

P.P.S. Most of the foreigner friends I've made in Japan have been either through the local International Center or at the foreigner bars. Both seem to be venues where not only foreigners go, but also where they don't mind chatting and having small talk with others, whether they be other foreigners or locals... The "get off my cloud" people usually go to great pains to avoid these places and hang out at the local bars and places where foreigners RARELY go. I've seen it.. I know at least one such person. Only reason why we're friends is because we used to be co-workers... But he has absolutely NO desire to meet or get to know ANY foreigners. It's really weird. Nice guy though....

[Vince]

If you want to experience foreigners in close proximity not exchanging the secret gaijin handshake, go to the book floor at Tower Records in Shibuya. It's not that people snub each other, but that being two foreigners in Tokyo is in itself not enough to create a bond.

A bond among foreigners can easily happen, and you'll see it if you reach out to other foreigners with similar interests. I contacted several foreigners with similar interests who I'd come across on the Web, and each one led to warm welcomes, meetings, and rewarding acquaintances. I also got two job leads and made a good friend on the train. In time, I'd developed a bigger and more reliable network than I'd ever had in the US.

[Speed]

- I've lived in some very small villages in Japan and I always said hello to any non-Japanese I saw. Saw one about once a year.

If feels natural to strike up a conversation w/ an ex-pat when you are in a place where you don't expect to see one or are very rare.


- Later I lived in a small city and smiled and gave a nod to most non-Japanese people I passed by. Many times we ended up talking to each other. The curiosity of seeing other non-Japanese usually piqued each other's interest.


- Now, I live in a very large city and see foreignors almost everywhere and all the time. If our eyes meet, I smile but that's it.

I rarely start conversations with them unless they look like they need help or it looks like we have something in common.

It feels 'unnatural' or forced striking up a conversation with someone in a large city just because he/she is non-Japanese. There's just so many of us.


- I found this to be the case with most expats around the world.

For example, Brazillians in San Diego don't start up conversations with each other just because they see each other in public.

But when two Brazilians spotted each other in Winnemuca, Nevada they began asking each other what they were doing there.

I think this is only natural.

[Mark]

I agree that it depends on where you live and how many foreigners live there. In Tokyo, there are so many people that it's pointless to say hello to everyone.

Also, most of the buys areas of Tokyo are either transit areas (like where I live) or partying areas. People in transit areas are busy, tired or whatever and usually aren't interested in chatting. People in partying areas are usually with their own group or are doing their own thing.

When I lived in a residential area of Tokyo, I never met another foreigner in my neighbourhood, but if I had, I certainly would've said hello.

But I think it is partially a Tokyo thing. People don't talk to each other here, and it starts to rub off on you. When I first came here, I used to strike up conversations a lot, now I just don't bother. I know that the other person is probably going to feel uncomfortable or whatever, so I just don't do it.

When I was partying in Osaka, I was amazed at how outgoing the other English-speakers were and how quickly they invited me to join them or to go do some activity. I think that people inevitably start to absorb the personality characteristics of the place they live in.

Living in a major transit point in Tokyo is not a good idea if you want to have a lot of random chit chat in your life either with foreigners or Japanese. It's just not likely to happen very often. You can make it happen if you really try, but it gets tiring after a while.

The other thing is that in a busy area of Tokyo, you'll probably never see the person that you're chatting with again. There's not much point in striking up a conversation with someone that you are extremely unlikely to ever bump into again.