Job Discussion Forums

[expatella_girl]

I need to find a way to school my son here in Moscow. He will be 17 by September and in the Russian college-acceptable age group. He has now missed TWO YEARS of school. We have one BIG problem: he doesn't speak Russian.

Here's what we've tried that won't work--internet home schooling, all English speaking schools in Moscow (all 4 of them. Can't pay the $18,000 and up tuition). Tutoring has been suggested before, but it doesn't give him the school environment structure that he really needs.

So I am now desperate for alternative alternatives. Hit me with your best shots. Crazy, weird, unconventional ideas are welcome.

I've heard about the Friendship University. It seems to cater to foreign students, but I believe that there is an entrance exam--in Russian--that has to be passed. I've also heard about something called the Moscow Technical Institute that has foreign students. He might be able to limp along in some very basic Russian instruction but there is no way he could pass any kind of Russian entrance exam anywhere. No way.

So you all are connected to the education system here to some degree. Ideas? Suggestions? Contacts? Any help or leads of any kind will be considered. At this stage, anything is better than nothing.

Thanks.

[carlos-england]

What I would do is let the boy learn Russian
at his own pace, so he won't be in University
this year. If you can wait two or three years
then if he is a bright and intelligent boy he will
know enough Russian to pass the entrance exam
eventually.

He is only 17 so time is of virtue that he can learn
the language and the culture and when he is ready
he will be confident to pass and will be happy in his
studies.

When my parents came to the UK as immigrants not
knowing the langauge they started at the bottom of the
ladder but their intelligence and dilligence to hard work
got them BA (hons) degrees later on in life, so it is possible
but there are no shortcuts.

If your son took his enterance exam at 20 or 21 years old
will it be the end of the world?

[expatella_girl]

Hooray! A reply.

He's been out of school since the 9th grade. He's now 17--by any standards he is way, way behind.

The problem is really long term. It's likely that we will be working in different countries for some years to come. He's quickly approaching the age when kids leave the nest. He'll end up going back to the States witout us and without an education. You can't survive in America on a 9th grade education.

It's imperative that we find some kind of schooling for him this fall. And I am just completely totally stumped. I know there must be an answer, I just haven't found it yet.

[carlos-england]

Making the boy learn Russian is a long term
solution. At 17 he is too old to be able to pick
up a second language and to be able to use it
as well as his L1. If you are planning to stay in
Russia for the next 7 years (that includes the boy
learning the language and completing his degree)
then I would recommend sending him to Russian
classes now.

If you are planning on a move somewhere else then
how about teaching him yourself a couple of hours a night?
or set him work, and mark it/go through with him when
you come home?

[expatella_girl]

We work on 2 to 4 year contracts. We're better than half done with this one so we have to leave the country in under two years. So no, we're not staying in Russia. We can't. If we could just stay in one place that would be a dream.

The tutoring/home study is really not the issue. The issue is that this boy has no proper peer and school structure in his life that goes along with a standard bricks-and-mortar education. He's rootless on a daily basis. This is not good for kids. He needs to be doing what other kids are doing--going to school every morning, getting classroom instruction, interacting with the world Monday through Friday.

So anyway, I have just less than 2 years to get him up to speed here in Moscow and find him a life. Help!

[carlos-england]

OK... if you can teach the lad at home and
take him to sports club (soccer is always a good
one or athletics) where he can make friends, learn
about peer issues and there are plenty of good cheap
sports clubs in the Moscow and district area and he
will be able to learn Russian. (as well as keep himself
fit)

The issue is money and if you don't have the cash
resources to send him to a private school, The options
are very much limited.

[EnglishBrian]

Hi expatella-girl,

Sounds a real problem. a few thoughts, but nothing profound I'm afraid. Have you tried getting him to do some tutoring? Maybe in English or maybe other work. Are there English medium schools there which rich parents send their barely English speaking kids to? Had this is the Middle East. If so he could perhaps tutor kids in other subjects too - where they're struggling because the language weakness?

Are there other home schooling parents in town who you could club together with to put together some kind of programme. Expect you've thought of that.

This may not be applicable to a US context, but the only other thing that springs to mind is that by British standards, at his age he would be finishing with compulsary education. Post compulsary education has a very different structure of course - far fewer class hours, much more reliance on self study and managing your own time. Maybe rather than tring to give him what he's missed in terms of a rigid 'school day' structure, focus on preparing him for what's going to come - I mean with regard to the style of learning people of his age might expect. When I went to university at the age of 18, some terms we only had 12 hours of 'teaching' per week. The rest of this 'full-time' study we had to do at our own volition.

Good luck anyway.

[Bara]

I have a similar questions myself. I was considering teaching for one year in Russia and bringing my teenage son with me. My plan was to pull him out of school for that year and have him unofficially attend a Russian public school to learn the language etc. I have Russian friends with children the same age, so I thought maybe he could go to school with them. This is just an idea and I have no idea if it would be permitted or not. My son would then be one year behind in school upon our return home, but would have gained language skills and the experience of life in another country. Does anybody know if this would even be possible?

Regarding your son, is distance learning an option - combined with some social activates such as after school clubs or sports so that he can socialize? If not, maybe sending him back home to live with friends/relatives so that he can attend school is an option. Or sign him up for a year long student exchange program to an English speaking country. These are a few ideas that pop into my head.

[canucktechie]

Eeah, I don't think this is going to fly. Even if you could pay or bribe his way into the Russian public school system, I think he would have an awful time. I teach Russian teenagers and can tell you that they're really a lot like Western teenagers - i.e. they like to pick on kids who are "different". Also unlike the US, Canada, Oz or even the UK Russia is not an immigrant-friendly society which makes allowances for foreign-born people. Plus the Russian school system is not "child centred" like back home - it's very strict and demanding.

If you don't have the money to send him to an expat school in Moscow, or can't park him with relatives or friends back home, I think you're just going to have to accept that he's going to lose a year of formal schooling, but gain some useful life experience.

[JonnytheMann]

Hi Bara,

Does your teenager want to go to Russia? Do he not mind falling a year behind in school?

Just wondering.

[expatella_girl]

Bara, Canuk is right. You and your son will be in the same boat we are.

I've been here nearly two years, made friends, I'm farmiliar with Moscow now, and I still haven't found useable schooling for my son. I think you should expect that the same situation will be yours unless you can spend about $20,000 on one of the English language schools.

We really thought that the online schooling--which cost us a bunch of $$$--was going to do the trick. It was a complete failure. Our son is not the kind of person with the determination and self discipline to make that kind of independant distance program work. And naturally I also thought that the experience of living in Russia would be an education of it's own, which surely it has, but now that he's nearly a grown-up he's going to have to go out and make his own living and way in the world. There's no way he's prepared for that.

Ok folks, keep thinking. I'm still listening.

[malcoml]

expatella_girl

You should really be ashamed at what you have done to your child. You have put him in a tough situation and it will potentially take him years to recover. If you so needed to relocate to Russia you should have left your child in the states with family members or at a boarding school. If it comes down to maony which it cleary does with you, you should have never been so selfish to go to Russia in the first place.
Pay the $18,000 for the international school or send him home to finish his education. $18,000 is nothing to pay to guarantee that you son is not put into a life of working form minimum wage.

[JonnytheMann]

I have to admit that I was thinking the same thing that malcml said, expatella_girl. You really should be ashamed of yourself.

By your own account, your son will be lost when he returns to the US. It sounds like he's lost in Moscow, too. How could you let this happen to him? I really cannot believe that you would take a job in Russia for 2-4 years when you have a 9th grader to raise. You should never have taken the job if you knew you couldn't afford an international school. Your son's education was not a detail to work out once you got there ... it was an imperative that should have been solved before arriving.

Thinking that any teen can home-school himself via internet is ridiculous. Did you forget what it's like to be a teen? Much less an American teen in Moscow? Did you try to think back to when you were 15? How would you have reacted to being dragged to Yemen or Malaysia "for the (up to 4 year) experience"?

"Oh, sweetie, Yemen will be great. You can just teach yourself Calculus, Physics, Biology, Chemistry, Trigonometry, History, Literature, Economics, & Civics. Don't worry, you'll learn Arabic in a snap! You might have to return to the States in 4 years and get a thing we call the 'GED' but the 4 years of 'life experience' in the sand dunes of Yemen will more than make up for your lack of education. Don't worry, you won't be condemned to a life of minimum-wage jobs."

Would you have bought that when you were 15, expatella_girl? Honestly, you would loathe your parents for ruining your life. You will be lucky if your son doesn't hate you deeply for what you've done to him.

Your behavior is so typical of American baby-boomers. You choose jobs over the welfare of your children. You want fulfillment in your career in Russia before you want your son to have a fighting chance at life. If you cared about him, you would have left Russia after one year. It's disgusting.

As the son of two American baby boomers, I can attest that my parents did the exact same thing. When I was 7 years old, they dragged me across the country 3,000 miles from every relative I knew. I had to sink or swim as a Santa Cruz beach boy in the Southern reality of Nashville, Tennessee. My parents tried to make it in the music business so they were constantly "on the road". They barely brought in enough money to survive and they often left me with "babysitters" that I'd never even met. Other flaky musician types. I remember not seeing them for an entire month where I had a new babysitter every week. I was 9 years old.

I ask myself: do good parents do this s.h.i.t? The answer is obviously "Nyet". Once you have kids, your life comes second. My parents should have shelved their dreams of being music stars once they had me and my brother. You don't pick careers that harm your children. You pick careers that make your kids feel secure and safe, not forgotten and uncared for. Your kid should come first. You should NEVER have taken a job like this if your son wouldn't get an education. And once you realized that he wasn't getting an education, you should have gone back to the States the next day. I am not exaggerating. You should have left the moment you realized that he was not going to get an education.

So, my advice is that if you cannot find your son proper school in *one* week, you need to get the h!ll out of Russia by the end of June because otherwise you just putting more nails in the coffin of your son's career.

I couldn't be more serious.

[Katyusha]

The poor boy should have been in a Russian school 2 years ago. The longer you delay it, the harder it will be for everyone. Teens are the best language learners and you haven't done anyone any favour by keeping him at home on distance learning that you knew he would not have the self-discipline for.

He could have gone to a Russian state school that specialises in English. Kids in the school would have loved him there, because it would be so cool to have a native speaker in the school.

[Kent F. Kruhoeffer]

Hi Gang

The OP asked for help with a difficult situation.

Let's try to be just a tad more sensitive in how we phrase

our suggestions and well-intentioned advice.

Thanks!