Job Discussion Forums

vallillo1983 · Joined: 07 Apr 2005 Posts: 194

HELLO, I AM A NEW GRADUATE AND AM HOPING TO TEACH IN JAPAN, AFTER READING THIS SITE I AM HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS! I WAS WANTING TO HEAR FROM TEACHERS IN JAPAN WHO HAVE BEEN THERE LONG TERM!! I AM LOOKING AT COMING TO JAPAN AND MAYBE SETTLING THERE; HAS ANYONE DONE THIS OR IS LIFE IN JAPAN TOO UNBEARABLE!

PLEASE HELP
CHEERS GUYS!

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Please don't type with all capital letters. It is bad manners.

Many of us have been in Japan "long term" (including me). Why are you having second thoughts? Everyone's experience is different, so just telling you something about mine will probably not be enough to help unless I can know something about your doubts.

vallillo1983 · Joined: 07 Apr 2005 Posts: 194

sorry about that capitals!! i don't know, many people saying that they don't really make Japanese friends and plus i am gay so don't know how (if i made any) my future Japanese friends would take it, also would i be likely to get dismissed from my job if they found out!! thanks for your help

p.s How long have to been in Japan for? Do you plan on settling there?

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

vallillo,
I have been here since 1998, but I also worked in Japan for a short time in 1985. I have a Japanese wife and a child, but we don't have plans to stay here forever. No plans have been made to return to the US yet.

Being hetero, I can't say anything than secondhand info on the consequences of being gay in Japan. I've heard that the community is growing, at least in openness, and at times some people treat gays as more of a novelty. Several TV celebrities (Japanese and foreign) are openly gay. I used to work at a conversation school where a previous teacher was gay. No ill feelings or consequences ever came of his life choice.

Foreign men are stereotyped as being attracted to Japanese women. Expect to be asked a thousand times if you like Japanese girls, so you'd have to decide how you want to answer it.

Brooks · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1369 Location: Sagamihara

being gay doesn`t matter. I work and have worked with gays.
Gay people don`t get married and have kids here, so they have more time to devote to their jobs. This is viewed as a good thing in this country, since work is the priority.

When I was single I spent more time at school, but after getting married, I spend more time at home. In Japan it is hard to find a balance between time with my wife and time at the job.

What matters is your character. If you are sincere, honest, work hard and have integrity, you should do ok.

Gays tend to go to Tokyo, and the hub is Shinjuku, which has over 200 gay bars (about 210-220 if I remember correctly).
But Tokyo may not be the best place for you. You might prefer other cities like Osaka, Kyoto, or Kobe, for example.

Tokyo is just a busy place and people move there to work and make
money,
and unfortunately, relationships tend to be a lesser priority.

Knowing Japanese will certainly help if you choose to stay long term.

Living in the center of Tokyo would be better for you socially.
But rents aren`t cheap.
I live in Kanagawa, and when I go to to Shibuya it takes over an hour, and so I am less likely to go on a regular basis.

Here are a couple examples of two gay men:

A: Canadian comes to Japan, learns Japanese (maybe san-kyu level), works at a junior high for several years. Later, moves to Shinjuku and gets a job teaching corporate classes for a company (maybe Hitachi). He gets a good salary.

B: American comes to Japan, lives in western Tokyo, and teaches at an primary school. Later moves to Shibuya at the start of his third year.
Gets sick of Japan and decides to not return after summer vacation.
School got very pissed off with him.
Dated men serially. Previously dated a Korean man, but broke up due to personality differences. The Korean was reserved but the American was outspoken and opinionated.
He didn`t really try to learn Japanese, and spent a lot of time working.

azarashi sushi · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Posts: 562 Location: Shinjuku

I've been in Japan about four years and live with my Japanese boyfriend in Shinjuku. I can't speak for other parts of Japan, but Tokyo is the land of no confrontation. Although they might have some idea, people generally mind their own business, and don't ask too many questions. As Brooks said, as long as you're a good teacher who does his job and an honest and sincere person, no-one really cares what you do in your spare time.

Shinjuku ni chome does have a lot of bars (apparently over 200) ... Although you wouldn't know it since many are the size of a broom closet. Like anywhere in the world, you're going to meet all kinds of people... friendly/unfriendly, intelligent/stupid etc... Generally though, I find the Tokyo gay community quite friendly and welcoming. As a gay person in Japan, you are an outsider. As a foreigner in Japan, you are an outsider. So we share a common bond... We're all outsiders!

Whatever you do, don't live in the inaka.

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

hivans · Joined: 29 Aug 2004 Posts: 51 Location: fukuoka

Personally, I think Japan is a good place to live. However, as with any country getting set up is the hardest part. Quite often people have to work their time in a conversation school, which can be stressful but then with luck and a bit of networking many people manage to set up themselves up with the sort of life they want.

I would not get too worried about the posts. Inevitably, people usually need to make posts when they have some sort of problem so it may create an untypical impression. After all, how often is someone going to write a post saying "I am happy today and nothing is wrong"?

I can comment a little on the gay situation - being a gay living in the provinces. Pretty much every city with over 250 000 people will have some sort of (often discreet) gay scene. There will be some gay bars, but many young people use the net to meet people (so being able to read and write a little will help you here). I have always found the gay scene to be very welcoming and very easy to make gay friends. However, outside of Tokyo and Osaka you will really will want to speak some Japanese to make the most of it, but I do think maybe it is a bit of a myth hat these two cities are the only realistic option for gay people in Japan.

Also, you can not underestimate how huge karoke is in gay bars. Learning one or two Japanese songs to do in Karoke will really open a few doors for you I think. I am prety sure you would never get sacked for being gay - but it might hurt you in an interview with some companies. In my opinion though it is better to keep sexuality and work separate, it just makes things easier except for having to fend off questions about girlfriends - but once you have a stock answer for that it is not too difficult.

There is an arwful lot I could say, but perhaps if you want to know anything else you could pm me rather than take up too much space on the message board.

Big John Stud · Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 513

vallillo1983 wrote:

i don't know, many people saying that they don't really make Japanese friends and plus i am gay so don't know how (if i made any) my future Japanese friends would take it, also would i be likely to get dismissed from my job if they found out!! thanks for your help

p.s How long have to been in Japan for? Do you plan on settling there?

I have many Japanese friends! Making friends depends on the person not on society the person is living in. About being gay, you probably receive more prejudice in the U.K. than you will here in Japan.
I have lived here since 1996 and I am settled here, married with 2 children. Yea, I am a breeder!