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litlmssunshine
Joined: 06 Aug 2004 Posts: 10 Location: Gold Coast, Australia
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:50 am Post subject: Japan and Homosexuality |
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I am interested in talking to girls (or guys) that are gay and living and working in Japan. My partner and I are hoping to go to Japan and although it is not something we feel necessary to bring to an interview, thinking ahead of time if we get jobs how will we go about getting accommodation together? Will Japanese people find it unusual that 2 girls want to live together? I haven't seen many threads about (just) friends living together, mainly individuals or straight couples.
Does anyone know if there is an open gay seen in Japan? This doesn't mean kissing or holding hands in public, more if there are gay bars, cafes etc in the communities?
I have done some searching on the internet and from some websites I know there are gay people in Japan I was just wondering if there was anyone willing to give me a more personal experience.
If you do not feel comfortable replying to this message, please PM me.
Thanks in advance
Ms Sunshine |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 7:02 am Post subject: Re: Japan and Homosexuality |
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litlmssunshine wrote: |
I am interested in talking to girls (or guys) that are gay and living and working in Japan. My partner and I are hoping to go to Japan and although it is not something we feel necessary to bring to an interview, thinking ahead of time if we get jobs how will we go about getting accommodation together? Will Japanese people find it unusual that 2 girls want to live together? I haven't seen many threads about (just) friends living together, mainly individuals or straight couples.
Does anyone know if there is an open gay seen in Japan? This doesn't mean kissing or holding hands in public, more if there are gay bars, cafes etc in the communities?
I have done some searching on the internet and from some websites I know there are gay people in Japan I was just wondering if there was anyone willing to give me a more personal experience.
If you do not feel comfortable replying to this message, please PM me.
Thanks in advance
Ms Sunshine |
there have been some threads on this topic recently if you do a search. there is no need to feel embarassed as most of us leave our moral and ethical politically correct baggage at home.
there is a large gay scene in Tokyo, I believe in Shinjuku where there are gay and transvestite bars.
I have worked with homosexuals and i think Glenski knows one in Hokkaido. When I first came to japan I worked with a couple of lesbians.
Best thing is to keep your love life out of the classroom, dont make a big issue of it. If you want to tell people you are lesbian, fine. people will ask if you have a boyfriend, you can decide to lie or be upfront about it. Students may be curious about it and ask questions. Some employers will have a hangup about gays but they wont fire you becuase you are a homosexual. Just remember japan is not a Christian country and though many gays are in the closet, quite a few are on TV and its not a big deal to most Japanese as long as you keep to yourselves and do do anything to offend anybody.
I will see if I can dig up the links for you. |
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azarashi sushi

Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Posts: 562 Location: Shinjuku
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 8:27 am Post subject: |
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Regarding accomodation ... Chances are that if you land a job with accomodation provided, it will be single occupancy only (no sharing with anyone). Apartments tend to be small and often the leases have clauses written into them that specify how many people can live there.
If you get your own apartment, then there is no problem with two females sharing. Again though, if it's a small apartment (eg. one room and a kitchen), the lease might specify that it's only for one person. Although I did find when I was looking that many places tended to favour married couples.
As Paul said, there is sizeable gay area in Tokyo in Shinjuku 2 Chome.
Actually while we're on the subject of lesbianism... I don't know if anyone else saw on the news but a few weeks ago a woman working as a hostess in a lesbian hostess bar in Shinjuku 2 Chome is believed to have murdered the boss. I'm not sure of the exact details, but the boss was found dead in her apartment and the hostess, who was the last person to have seen her, has disappeared. And someone has been using her credit cards! So beware... There is a lesbian killer on the loose in Ni chome! It's a true story!... Anyone know anymore details? |
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Willy_In_Japan
Joined: 20 Jul 2004 Posts: 329
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:08 am Post subject: |
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Gays on TV were mentioned......is that Takeshi Fuji (I think that is is name but I could be wrong) who plays "Matthew" on "Mathew's Best Hit TV" gay?
The guy is hillarious even if I dont understand him, but he seems really effeminate. I was just wondering if anyone knew?
Just curious. |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:25 am Post subject: |
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Willy_In_Japan wrote: |
Gays on TV were mentioned......is that Takeshi Fuji (I think that is is name but I could be wrong) who plays "Matthew" on "Mathew's Best Hit TV" gay?
The guy is hillarious even if I dont understand him, but he seems really effeminate. I was just wondering if anyone knew?
Just curious. |
hes just got engaged.... to a woman, last month. Doesnt mean hes straight though unless its part of his TV talent persona.
Kaba-chan is as camp as a row of tents though and the guy who wears the cowboy hats as well (Toru-san)
I forgot the Queen Bee.... Mikawa Kenichi. |
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litlmssunshine
Joined: 06 Aug 2004 Posts: 10 Location: Gold Coast, Australia
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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Thankyou for such a quick response - I understand what you are saying about keeping it out of the classroom, I choose not to disclose much of my personal life to my current employer so there is no reason to do any different when in Japan. I also already work with children and I would not ever dream of telling them anything of my personal life, especially in regards to my sexuality so again I dont think I'll be doing any different whilst in Japan.
I do have a dilemma with the accommodation thing - my partner is hoping to get a job before going to Japan as she has BEd degree, 2 years high school teaching in Australia plus she has been part of a program teaching english to refugees for over a year now and will continue to do that until the end of this year. We are hoping that she will be able to get quite a good job. By that I mean in contrast to me, as I do not have a degree but have a TESOL cert and currently part of a similar program to gain as much experience before heading over on a WHV. We figure if she can get herself set up with a good paying job before heading out there, if I am not able to arrange something before at least one of us will be earning yen and I can look for something once we get there. (Does this sound like a good plan? Has anyone else been in the same kind of situation? From reading diff posts it appears most are either individuals with the occasional married couple.)
The dilemma is, if she gets offered a job and states that she would like accommodation for 2, I assume that they will think 'married/boyfriend' and that this is the only acceptable answer to be eligible for accommodation for 2. I can't see, without disclosing our relationship how we can get around it? Do they ask for details of partners? (I assume they do in your paper work).
**I probably haven't explained myself very well, I apologise for that, but if anyone got the jist of what I am asking and can help out that would be great**
Also just a quick point we are hoping to get jobs in Osaka or Kansai area rather than Tokyo - any gay scene info for that area would be great.
Ms Sunshine |
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wintersweet

Joined: 18 Jan 2005 Posts: 345 Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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litlmssunshine wrote: |
T
The dilemma is, if she gets offered a job and states that she would like accommodation for 2, I assume that they will think 'married/boyfriend' and that this is the only acceptable answer to be eligible for accommodation for 2. I can't see, without disclosing our relationship how we can get around it? Do they ask for details of partners? (I assume they do in your paper work).Ms Sunshine |
Just because two women live together there is no reason to assume they will think it is anything more than friendship. I do hear that sometimes single japanese women get refused (they worry about using the apartment to turn tricks or that they should live with parents) but two women living together shouldnt be a problem. There is no reason not to think you are simply room mates. Like I said, Japan is not a Christian country and they dont worrt so much about what people do in their bedrooms. They will worry more about the cooking smells and putting the garbage out on the right day.
Usually landlords will want to know who is living there as subletting an apartment is usually not permitted. You can tell them there are two women with no problem.
The other problem is that if one of you have company provided accomodation many do not permit non-employees to live there. You are considered 'dead weight' You may have to find your own apartment and pay key money as well as furnish it. Employers will often act as guarantor.
A good alternative is a "gaijin house". A hostel with private rooms, shared kitchen facilities and you pay rent by the month or week. pay the rent on time and no questions asked.
Best place to look for jobs is Kansai Flea Market http://www.kfm.to and
Kansai Time Out
http://www.kto.co.jp
This site also has a few but i dont know how current it is
http://www.kansainow.com
I have a list of language schools and phone numbers in Kansai and Kyoto etc but its written only in Japanese. If you learn to read "katakana" you can get the gist of the names of most of them. Katakana is the syllabary for foreign words and people have been known to learn them on the flight over (only 53 sounds and its not that difficult to learn them) |
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litlmssunshine
Joined: 06 Aug 2004 Posts: 10 Location: Gold Coast, Australia
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 12:34 am Post subject: |
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PAULH you are a star! Your information on this topic has been great. In regards to learning the language, I am currently taking Japanese lessons, just about to go into coversation level 2 and although I am not practicing as much as I should the idea and stucture of the language is starting to fall into place in my head. I've also got a 'Let's learn Hiragana' woorkbook which has me tracing over the character and doing activities which I'm find very interesting.
On a side note for those westerners that have managed to learn to write characters I am, as a left hander, struggling with the fact that all character strokes are from left to right. I have tried moving my page around but it just doesn't seem to feel natural at all....anyone got any tips?
Thankyou also for the accommodation points, I'll definitely be taking all of the points raised into consideration! |
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markle
Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Posts: 1316 Location: Out of Japan
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 1:59 am Post subject: |
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litlmssunshine wrote: |
On a side note for those westerners that have managed to learn to write characters I am, as a left hander, struggling with the fact that all character strokes are from left to right. I have tried moving my page around but it just doesn't seem to feel natural at all....anyone got any tips?
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In some ways you're in luck, traditionally Japanese is/was written downwards and from left to right so as long as you write from underneath you won't have the usual problems. |
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Lover
Joined: 14 Feb 2005 Posts: 86
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:24 am Post subject: |
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[quote="litlmssunshine"]I do have a dilemma with the accommodation thing - my partner is hoping to get a job before going to Japan as she has BEd degree, 2 years high school teaching in Australia plus she has been part of a program teaching english to refugees for over a year now and will continue to do that until the end of this year. We are hoping that she will be able to get quite a good job. By that I mean in contrast to me, as I do not have a degree but have a TESOL cert and currently part of a similar program to gain as much experience before heading over on a WHV. We figure if she can get herself set up with a good paying job before heading out there, if I am not able to arrange something before at least one of us will be earning yen and I can look for something once we get there. (Does this sound like a good plan? Has anyone else been in the same kind of situation? From reading diff posts it appears most are either individuals with the occasional married couple.)
The dilemma is, if she gets offered a job and states that she would like accommodation for 2, I assume that they will think 'married/boyfriend' and that this is the only acceptable answer to be eligible for accommodation for 2. I can't see, without disclosing our relationship how we can get around it? Do they ask for details of partners? (I assume they do in your paper work).
If you don't have a four year degree from a credited university, you don't have anything to worry about. You can't get a teaching job in Japan and so you can't live here!
If you do have a four year degree, I would just tell a perspective landlord, that we are friends and want to live together to share the high cost of Japan.
Yes, I would lie. Landlords in Japan can and most do discriminate. They even discriminate against Japan. A very good lady friend who is 100% Japanese had so much trouble finding an apartment even though she is a very successful business woman in Japan. She ended up having to buy a place, because she could find anything. Most Landlords only want to rent to salary men.
You should think about going to Korea. I think Koreans are more accepting of gays than japanese are! That is my opinion! |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:12 am Post subject: |
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Lover wrote: |
If you don't have a four year degree from a credited university, you don't have anything to worry about. You can't get a teaching job in Japan and so you can't live here!
If you do have a four year degree, I would just tell a perspective landlord, that we are friends and want to live together to share the high cost of Japan. ! |
She said she can come on a working holiday visa
Civil partnerships between people of the same sex are not recognised in Japan (yet). |
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JimDunlop2

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Posts: 2286 Location: Japan
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:13 am Post subject: |
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Lover wrote: |
They even discriminate against Japan. A very good lady friend who is 100% Japanese had so much trouble finding an apartment even though she is a very successful business woman in Japan. She ended up having to buy a place, because she could find anything. Most Landlords only want to rent to salary men. |
Not to be contrary, but I call baloney on that one. I'm not a single, Japanese businesswoman, but instinct tells me that it CAN'T be any worse than being a foreigner in terms of finding a willing landlord...
Having just finished a month-long house-hunt, being a foreigner posed FEW problems.... Only one or two of all the landlords had issues with foreigners renting from them. There are TONS and TONS of places to choose from. You can buy an entire 300+ page monthly magazine with nothing but house/apartment/mansion ads, ranging from 1K to "sky's the limit." It's a buyer's market right now and I had realtors beating a path to my door for business. They even offered discounts on rent, deposit, key money, free CATV, whatever they could as incentives for me to choose them.
The economy is in a slump. Realty companies don't have the luxury to pick and choose their clients like they may have been able to do during the bubble days. Many realtors JUMPED at the chance to have our business.... We even had a couple try the "hard-sell" on us -- something that I find unusual in Japan.
If your lady friend truly had so much trouble, I'd say that she may have either been much too picky/selective with what she wanted OR she wasn't trying hard enough. Many Japanese people ARE very picky because they don't like the idea of living someplace that's not new and someone has lived before them... Perhaps that was part of the issue.
Also, you do not need a degree for a WHV. You just need to go into it with the understanding that you have to renew your visa after 6 months, and go home after a year if you're not eligible to change to a working visa. |
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Rice Paddy Daddy
Joined: 11 Jul 2004 Posts: 425 Location: Japan
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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Lots of homos in Taiwan and Thailand also and they're quite open and tolerant about it as well. |
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pnksweater
Joined: 24 Mar 2005 Posts: 173 Location: Tokyo, Japan
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:09 am Post subject: |
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PDA isn't big in Japan regardless of genders. However, Japan has a history of non-hetrosexual behavior, lacks a strong religious presence, and thus there just aren't the same sorts of hang-ups. Granted, as previous posters have suggested, keep your preferences to yourself. Aside from that, if you're living in an urban environ, no one will bat an eyelash.
Are there visable gay couples in Japan. Yes. Sometimes they're pretty obvious- my favorite watering hole is often frequented by a butch woman and her kimono clad girlfriend. The hard part, according to a recent article in the Metropolis, is finding the right word in Japanese to explain your situation.
If you partner's job is providing housing you may not be able to live together. This is not a gay thing, this is simply a matter of empoyers not wanting to guarantee someone who does not work for them. Everyone in Japan, Japanese and foreign, needs a guarantor on the lease. Simply put, the company won't stick it's neck out for someone it doesn't pay. You may want to find your own housing. Your partner's company can guarantee her and, worst case, you can pay to have a an agency guarantee you.
Hope this was helpful
neko |
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