Job Discussion Forums

[cafebleu]

I`ve read the Henna Gaijin thread and agree with it. However, it`s also useful to look at the other side and give our Japanese friends and acquaintances some advice on dealing with foreigners. Does anybody care to add to these points?

For the Japanese, please keep these things in mind.

Number 1 - after a foreigner has lived a couple of years in Japan, don`t keep saying in surprise to them, `Oh, do you speak English?` How would you like it in my country if every time you spoke English, people said, `Oh, do you speak English?` How would you like it if your English teacher said the same in your class?

If you live close to a foreigner, don`t presume you can intrude on them day or night whenever you feel like it. Foreigners in Japan are rarely unemployed and they have plenty to do without Japanese people inviting themselves into their apartments/houses, especially when the foreigner hardly knows the person/s.

Don`t talk loudly about `That gaijin` in front of them. They can understand what you are talking about and it`s plain rude manners in any country to be talking about people as if they don`t exist - especially with a word that can be regarded as more discriminatory than not.

If you see a foreigner, alone or with friends at a coffee shop, restaurant or wherever, think a little before you go up to talk to them, or ask them questions about whether they are married, or their country is dangerous,or if you are a high school student ask them foolish questions based on stereotypes from Monbusho propoganda that calls itself textbooks. Would you go up to another Japanese person that you don`t know, interrupt their time spent relaxing by themselves or with others, and think you have the right to chat to them as if you`ve known them for some time?

The same goes for asking foreigners for their telephone number, address, email address. Why is it your right to contact somebody you`ve never seen before? Why is it your right to barge in on them like that? Because they`re a foreigner? Come up with a better reason than that.

Don`t presume that the purpose of a foreigner`s existence is to provide you with homestays.　Lord knows why, but having encountered this phenomenon a number of times I am still puzzled as to why some Japanese think that all foreigners do homestays and that we somehow owe the Japanese we know and teach a homestay. Especially don`t plan to go and visit the foreigner or their family in their home country without an invitation. If we want to invite you to our country and home we will. If we don`t want to, we won`t. Simple as that.

Any more helpful rules for the Japanese?

[David]

Here are a few others:

1. Don't ask a foreigner you happen to be sitting next to in a restaurant, some obscure grammar question or the correct pronunciation of some word. A foreigner's existence ISN'T to provide you with free English lessons.

2. Don't say such things as "do you eat sushi/natto/misoshiru? It also gets tiring after a while.

3. Yes, foreigners CAN use chopsticks. Get over it. No need for any comments!

4. Don't the touch the hair of a foreigner you see on the train, bus, street. Not unless you want to lose the hand. (This hasn't happened to me, but to a number of female co-workers).

5. Don't be jealous of other Japanese who speak English very well. I've heard snide remarks (in nihongo) directed at such Jpn.

6. Relax when you see a foreigner walk into a restaurant. He/she also needs to eat like everyone else, no need for everything to come to a halt with stares directed at the visitor.

7. Give credit where it's due to foreigners who are studying Nihongo. No need to make fun of their attempts to speak YOUR language.

[Mosley]

I'm surprised by your first point. I lived in Japan for 5 yrs. (as an obvious Westerner) and was never once asked "Can you speak English?" In fact, I think it's a fair question for a Japanese to ask a Western-looking person: after all, NOT ALL Westerners speak English! I would encourage Japanese to ask the question!

[Brooks]

if you are a drunk salaryman on a train or at a train station, don`t think this is the perfect opportunity to practice your English. Leave the foreigner alone.

[cafebleu]

Mosley - good point! I am sorry I confused anybody. I meant `Do you speak Japanese?`. After a few years in this country I am still asked that question and I find it downright patronising especially when it`s coming from Japanese people such as adults whom I have taught and who know how long I have been here.

I also find it downright patronising when I have to do things of an official nature. I don`t take Japanese friends with me as my Japanese is fine for these purposes. However, I find that various representatives of officialdom (including city hall people) make my life extremely difficult at times by complicating what should be routine matters. All they have to do is give relevant, clear replies but they usually don`t - they convolute things and end up calling for a Japanese co worker who can speak English (usually broken) who then tells me what I knew already.

To make matters more annoying, I can`t say `Yes, I know. If your co-worker here had given me that simple reply there would have been no need to drag you away from your desk.` I have to thank all concerned for wasting my time and treating me like a fool who has no capacity for learning the language of the country I live in. I have to tell the `translator` that their English is great but they blatantly ignore the fact that I am speaking relatively fluent Japanese.

That is one really hen aspect of the Japanese.

[Brooks]

when the train stops, wait for people to get off the train before you get on. That way, nobody gets bumped into.
I wonder if this is a Tokyo problem.

Brooks

[Mosley]

Ok, cafebleu, now I think I understand....

[Guest]

Don't assume that I won't know my postcode (zip) because it's not situated in the country I was born in.

Don't assume that I won't be able to calculate how much change I should get because the price is in yen.

[Lynn]

[Lynn]

[Lynn]

1. Don't say, "Nihongo joozu desu ne" after I respond to a simple question with a nod and a "nn".

[Dr.J]

Without being apologist, I'd like to throw open another view on some of these.

Say you're at the bus stop and there's a guy with a guitar case. You say "So, you play the guitar?" Of course he plays the fucking guitar! What a dumb question! But you just wanted to start a conversation, right?

If you listen to Japanese people they say the same dumb things *to each other*! Just they don't meet a lot of foreigners so they're a little uninventive with their remarks.

In addition, Japanese is a language full of set phrases with no strong meaning, just intended to say "Hey, I'm here and I'm friendly towards you!".

Sure it gets annoying, but see it for what it is (most of the time)- an attempt to be nice.

[cafebleu]

Have to agree with you Dr J - some of the inane and seemingly questioning your intelligence questions are a means by which the Japanese make conversation. I tolerate the `Do you have four seasons in your country?` for example, because I recognise that as a means to start conversation, as with other cliches.

As for the person who has lived in Japan for four years and never had any of the things I mentioned happen to her - you are lucky! I particularly dislike the way somebody can see me for the first time and ask if I am married, whether I live alone, what is my telephone no, address etc, etc. I don`t think there is anything harsh with calling that kind of questioning rude and pushy. Questions about my country are okay and if I know somebody even a little, the questions about marriage etc are okay. But from somebody who just decided to come up and talk to you for the first time? Get some sensitivity training.

I also find the notion of shyness to be inapplicable to the Japanese. Not a few times I have experienced or heard of with regard to other foreigners, Japanese assuming that they can go to the foreigner concerned`s home country and have a home stay with the foreigner`s family. I find that pushy. I have worked with Japanese people whose purpose in relating to me seemed based around that one concept. In particular a manager at one of my previous jobs. When they found out that no, my family and friends don`t do homestays, they dropped their friendly act and became abrupt and distant.

Anybody else come across the henna notion that our job is to provide Japanese people, whether we know them that well or not, with homestays in our native country?

[sammael]

Has anyone (male) been groped, touched and poked (by Japanese males)because they were a foreigner ?? Happened to me sometime ago at a little night club while dancing... three guys got in front of me and poked me in the chest and grabbed my arms....dame didn`t work and I just walked off and stood at the side of the dance floor!


Gay clubs are one thing (been to quite a few back in Canada) but this was different!! The constant stares get tiring fast too and unfortunately I have found that at times, I put on a demeanour of hostility!

The only rule I would like to add is `do unto foreigners as you would like done to you`!

I am trying to understand, I am trying to take a different view....`The Unspoken Way` by Michihiro Matsumoto has helped.....but I am going mad! Mad I tell you!!!

[JimDunlop2]

Well, I haven't had much of this yet.... But I have a generic answer which usually does that job:

Ahh... Sumimasen. Eigo ga yoku wakarimasen. Furansu-jin desu.

(tr. Sorry... I understand little English... I'm French)

Fortunately, I can legitimately back myself since I really do speak French.... in the rare instance that the response to my statement is: "Ah, oui? Bien alors...."

Maybe I should start using that more often anyways, as the general assumption (even before I've spoken) is that since I'm a gaijin I MUST speak English....