Job Discussion Forums

[leeroy]

(ahem - with hindsight, I'm getting rid of this)

Leeroy

[wOZfromOZ]

Mate


leeroy baby.......
You're a champion...............you haven't listened have you!!!
You're a f....ing disgrace!

what a 'crock of' your students have got for a teacher!

........enough said!

wOZfromOZ

[dduck]

I'd just like to make the observation that leeroy has managed to write in sentences and paragraphs and, it seems to me, he's making a serious point.

The only word I can think of to describe wOZfromOZ's comment is: verbage.

Iain

[Glenski]

My point is that there are situations such as mine where no professionalism is being compromised by having a relationship outside the class. Naturally, there are common-sense rules which are obeyed. No blatant petting, or "seeing as you're my girlfriend you can go to Upper-Intermediate".

Leeroy,
In my opinion, you are incorrect. Your professionalism IS compromised by sheer virtue of dating a student. Just because your dates take place outside of the classroom doesn't make it any better. You run the risk of being seen by her classmates and/or your fellow staff. What will they think when they see you two together? Will the classmates act differently in class? Will they remain in class? Will they inform the management?

Consider this, too. If you two have any arguments, the emotions WILL be brought back into the classroom. That will be noticed. No matter how you try to hide your relationship in the classroom, it will show. And, God forbid that the two of you should break up, THAT sourness will also show. I've seen it happen.

Just because you say you won't advance her to the next level doesn't mean that you won't unconsciously show favoritism in the classroom. Even subtle things that you aren't aware of in passing comments are likely to be noticed.

Thin ice.


"I suspect though that most of the other contributors here are more experienced and qualified than I. Perhaps if I had a DELTA, MA and 10 years experience (and a job & salary appropiate to this) then I would feel the need to start behaving a little more "professionally". "

It doesn't take an advanced degree to realize how to behave professionally.


"I don't think there are many things you can generalise about when it comes to English Teaching - rules on dating students is one of them. "

There are PLENTY of things to generalize about when it comes to teaching! And, if you are going to break "rules" such as this one on dating, what other rules in life do you break just for the sake of your own pleasure? You admitted that you and a co-worker (dating a student at the time) said that such behavior was "bad". Besides the hypocritical nature of your co-worker, would you like to explain just what made you change that opinion?

[arioch36]

I think, leeroy, it is easy enough to justify any behaviour. The most common justification is "someone else is doing it too" another common justification is " we are all adults" and "no one is getting hurt"
Being over 18 or 21 doesn't mean you or the person are acting in mature, adult ways.
Do you think it is okay for a doctor or psychiatrist to have a relation with their legally consenting patient. They used the same excuses, and then other peole had to try to mend the broken pieces. People get sick of this happening, and then start making laws to stop predators such as yourself. See Oz's post on the other thread.
Yes, you are a predator. I know because I know the predator lurking in myself. Give me a couple classes of 15 or 20 students , and we all could find willing victims. Why can't you find a girlfriend outside of class? Maybe because what the student is reacting to is not you as a person, but you as a teacher.
This is a quite common phenomnom. And if you take advantage of it, you're scum, plain and simple. But there is lots of scum in the world, and we are all scummy sometimes. I have done my fair share of scummy things, but I won't be so hypocritical as to try and justify these evil deeds.
If for some reason you find a person remarkable, and want to have a relationship, you wait until after you are no longer in a teacher/ student relationship to have anything but a plutonic relationship. I'm not judging you as a person, probably you're a better man than I. I have done many wrong things But I ask you think again. If you really like the girl, have her go to a different class. Why not?

[arioch36]

Oh, Leroy, I noticed you were worried about YOUR possible embarrrassment. Very telling. What about your student? Do you think her pattern of life is really healthy? Or are you just taking advantage of her shortcomings (many possibilities)

[leeroy]

(this one too)

[Harry Swindells]

You can not say that it is always wrong to date your students. If you can keep your private life your private life and you are not in a position of power over the student then it can work.

The first example that springs to my mind is from a university I used to work at. While I was there one of the other teachers was dating a student. He was 6 months younger than the student. 5 years later they are still together and she is now also teaching at the university. If he had never started to date his student he almost certainly would have left and the university would have lost an excellent teacher that they can not afford to replace.

The dating students issue is never black and white.

Harry

[arioch36]

Oh Leroy, of course all of us older guys probably have a little jealousy hidden somewhere in our hearts. I wasn't singling you out as "sick" . Like I said, I have the predator in my heart. We all do. Just look at the words used to describe the situation. It is like we are a wolf and we see a flock of sheep, and think about which lamb is the juiciest. It is natural. Many bad things are natural. Either most or many of the people in your situation do not have a good heart when they go after a student. I believe this because I know me , and I have seen to many results of others, listened to them talk.
Oh, i also have a good friend who married someone who was his student...good marriage. I would have told him the same. Wait until she is not in your class.

[bnix]

Anybody like Leeroy who is interested in"contemplating a fine p---- of Polish a--" and then POSTS it...is NOT a professional.I agree with the Wiz...such a guy is a disgrace and a sad commentary on some of the "teachers" in this "profession".You are supposed to be in this profession to teach,not"lust"after your students.You have a professional and moral reponsibility to respect your students.If you don't,you have no right to expect their respect and you have no business teaching.

Don't tell me"other people do it" as a form of rationalizing such behavior.That does not make it right.I was simply APPALLED by your post....even though I have been in this field for years and have seen a lot...