Job Discussion Forums

gerard · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 581 Location: Internet Cafe

Capergirl-good post. I forgot about Joe. Canada is also the first nation of beer. I dont care what anybody says Canada has the best brewski. And we remain the hockey champions.

Kent F. --- There you are. We were getting worried that maybe you fell in the Bosphorous River, (sp) Very Happy

Or maybe you were into the Russian beer---or Polish beer ---and got run over by a sausage truck. Heh Heh.. Be careful over there--Russians are CRAZY. Not very PC of me but eastern Europeans are NUTS!!!

Shonai Ben · Joined: 15 Feb 2003 Posts: 617

Gerard:
I have to agree with you.A cold Keiths and an exciting hockey game and I am happy as a clam.

To all the other posters:Thanks for the Canada Day greetings.

Cheers. Cool

Capergirl · Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2003 6:14 pm Post subject:

Hey Gerard, glad you like that one. Wink

Got another for you...these are real questions posted on an international tourism website and some responses from a Canadian with a rather dry sense of humour. Twisted Evil

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Laughing

Irish · Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 371

Hilarious post, Capergirl. I'll never look at my Swedish classmates the same way again (although I think I'm more scared of Italians now).

Anyway, aloha and happy Canada Day to all our Canadian friends wherever they are in the big wide world.

rogan · Joined: 03 Mar 2003 Posts: 416 Location: at home, in France

No, no Irish, the American questions win.
They show a remarkable need for knowledge.

Irish · Joined: 13 Jan 2003 Posts: 371

I wouldn't venture to guess who's most in need of knowledge--no doubt all of us could use more than we've got. Unfortunately, there's plenty of ignorance to go around. Judging by the questions I've gotten from tourists here, no nation has the monopoly on stupidity. But thanks to Capergirl, I'm now stuck with the image of my Swedish pals skulking about in the bushes doing God knows what. That's okay, though--I'm sure I make them laugh sometimes too. Just as long as they keep doing it behind my back instead of to my face.

Shaman · Joined: 06 Apr 2003 Posts: 446 Location: Hammertown

Nice posts, Capergirl. LMAO. Back to the barbecue and beer...

Smile

Shaman

Steiner · Joined: 21 Apr 2003 Posts: 573 Location: Hunan China

Dang it! I missed this whole thread, and I was looking forward to it. Oh well, I was never going to cancel my vacation to be here on time.

Shonai Ben: Thanks for starting the thread
Khmerhit: Swiss National Day is August 1
Capergirl: Hilarious Q+A
Canadians: Happy Canada Day!

And I'm writing on July 4th (actually very early on the 5th), so U.S.ofA. people: Happy Independence Day!

Oh boy, only nine days left before Bastille Day!