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[American Friend of China]

This is coming from someone who has studied the culture before, who can speak the language at the intermediate level, who has lived and worked in China for three and a half years, who is married to a Chinese national, who is generally calm, reserved, and loses his temper about three times a year, and who is generally friendly to China, including on the Taiwan issue and Sino-U.S. issues.

But today, I want to take advantage of this forum to safely rant and rave. And I just want to say: "I've had it!" I want to go back home to my country which I haven't seen since January 5th, 2000. I've already made my contribution. But before I can finally go back, I have to wait for two things to happen: (1) finish my contract with my employer, and (2) my wife finally gets her visa.

What things am I fed up with? I am fed up with some of the rudest racist a**holes on the face of this earth. This country has many good people, but I really hate the bad ones, including drivers who drive with absolute disregard and disrespect to human life. This society really has problems. I have never seen such a level of selfishness and disregard for human rights in my life. The human rights issue is not a Chinese government issue, it's an issue of society, a society where most of the populace is self-centered and has no respect for fellow mankind.

I am also fed up with ungreatful little emperors and empresses in the classroom, including teenagers, who believe that the foreign teacher's primary role is to be an entertainer rather than a teacher. Here is my message to them, especially to the teenagers, which I can't really deliver in the classroom:

"O.K. kiddos. Look! I'm here as a teacher, not as an entertainer, a singer, a dancer, or whatever it is you think I should be. Some teachers have entertaining personalities and entertaining teaching styles, and some teachers don't. That's the way it is. It's called life! Get used to it kiddos. Eventually you will have to grow up and realize that you can't get everything you want, as the world doesn't revolve around you. And why are you here? You are here to learn, not just play games. Yeah, learning can be fun, but it is not only up to the teacher to make it fun. It is also the attitude of the student. If you are only here because your parents made you come here, just sit down, shut-up unless you are participating in the class, and stop making life hard for others. And stop whining that we play the same games every other class. At least I include games in the lesson plan. It could be worse - I could make the lesson totally boring and not include games at all. And I have 30 hours of classes a week. I'm not going to use all of my lesson-planning time to think of new games for just one class when I've got many other classes to plan for too. And you should be thankful that I am working hard and trying my best to teach your lessons. I could just say 'I don't care' since my contract expires on August 31 and since my wife's visa to America is coming soon, but I'm not the kind of person that would do that. And also think: did your parents have foreign teachers when they were young, during the Cultural Revolution? When they were little, did your parents play computer games in their bedroom during their free time like you do today? You are too spoiled, and the spoon that feeds you is more silver than the spoon I was fed with when I was your age. When I was of primary school age, I didn't have a computer in my bedroom. And this was in America, a developed country! But you get these benefits while most children your age in the rural areas of your country could only dream of such a life. So, stop being so unappreciative!"

And to all the rude drivers out there:

"Your driving is totally despicable! I have never seen such rude drivers with such absolute total disregard for human life ever before. You a**holes really don't care whether pedestrians live or die. You have no respect for human rights. You are not a civilized people. You are total scum. And if you try to screw with me, I will make your life a living hell. And I'm not afraid to fight you either. I don't care what kind of connections you have. We Americans from the western frontier regions kow-tow to nobody. You want to fight? I can give you a f**king fight!"

I just want to go back home. I sick and tired of all the things that I'm tired of. When is culture shock most difficult? Not during the first year, because during the first year, you expect everything to be different. It is after staying a long time when it really gets to you. And some of the things that I am tired of and dislike are not uniquely a case of a foreigner unable to "xi guan" (get accustomed to) China. My Chinese wife is also tired of this self-centered society, especially the corruption that had plagued her former work unit.

If I come back to China, I swear I will never return to the ESL field. I've already made my contribution - a three-and-a-half year contribution! I've put more than my ten cents in already. If I come back, it will only be with a large company, preferably an American or international corporation that does business in China. And I prefer to live in Shanghai or Hong Kong, the most cosmopolitan parts of the country. But she and I will never return to Dalian except to visit family.

September, oh, September. Where art thou September? I want to go back home!!! Less than two more months to go. In September, I should probably throw a big party.

[MartinK]

...

[MyTurnNow]

Some things do get easier here with time, some do not. Understanding, in China, doesn't always increase one's enthusiasm for this place.

I share a lot of AFC's observations and opinions. I just still find more here that I like than I find that I hate. I can still honestly say I love it here...but I definitely see the numerous and enormous warts.

AFC, you work at Ground Zero for obnoxious kids. Changing employers and finding a good school for adults might help solve some of your problems. But a lot of what you observe isn't your employers (I can't blame everything on those people ) and it certainly isn't Dalian. It's cultural and systemic and institutionalized. Not everyone can cope...many days I barely do myself.

MT

[kimo]

Sunaru is having a good day I see.

AFC, I understand all your points and basically agree with you. And think you didn't go far enough and mention pedestrians and bicyclists too. Everybody seems to have complete disregard for safety, especially their own. I think the local mantra goes, "I won't be responsible for me so you have to be when I cross eight lanes of moving traffic, turn corners without looking and ride too fast down the sidewalk."

Now, about going home. Utopia or dystopia? What I like about China is I don't have to fight through a lot of macho guys and macha girls every where I go. Nobody is screaming the "F" word at me. I don't have to wonder if the person in front of me is packing heat. I can admire an automobile (though few here so far worth admiring) at an intersection and someone doesn't feel I am menacing them by doing so. America has its own bureacracy. How long and how much effort did it take to get your wife's visa? I have first hand experience with the INS and lost files (more likely thrown away by over-worked staff an agent once told me). Have you ever lived in NY City. You cannot believe the ineptitude of many involved in public service there. And it's not just in NYC. And don't forget to pay your taxes. The boogey man will never let you live that one down, while he's creating new taxes for you.

I could go on and on about home. I could do the same about China. But I think you're just trading one set of crap for another. Maybe the way we look at things is all we ever have going for us no matter where we are.

[Roger]

This man has my sympathy! Yes, it is a strong rant, and I would choose many phrases more carefully, but I know what he mans, and why he rants this way!
The little emperors and empresses syndrome - blame it on the Chinese adults who were born into multi-kid families, usually blue-collar workers or peasants that needed the extra hands rather than wanting to spoil their bodies and minds! Now a whole generation is faced with this absolutely new phenomenon - so much more wealth accumulation, and only one taker after they depart for the other world! It has changed the Chinese' outlook and behaviour in more ways than one!
It is coupled with Deng Xiaoping's famous saying "getting rich is glorious". Everybody is getting richer these days (well, at least this seems so to the eyes of people in transit here). Ostentation is a very human characteristic, less easily suppressed in Asia than in the Christian world.
I actually find kiddies a lot easier to handle than adults spoilt by socialism (iron-rice bowl jobs and a mentality that is characterised by passively expecting mannah from Heaven, while resisting any change in outlook and acting). Just teach corporate students whose company foots the bill for your salary!

The selfishness of pedestrians and motorists - not new, just new in these proportions. It is a natural characteristic of people who have never had to accept responsability for themselves nor for anybody else. I think, if China adopted the rather stern but effective disciplinary measures that Singapore subscribes to, the roads of China would be the safest in the world! As it is, the may very well be the least safe.

All this material worshipping, gadget hunting, ostentation, self-centeredness is inevitable in a society whose spiritual and intellectual life is poor.

I have watched developments unfold to the stage where we observe them now - when I came to China, the nation was still traumatised from the impact of the June, 1989 crisis. You should have been here in the aftermath of that year's political developments to really appreciate the difference between the various states of mind that the CHinese have gone through.
Let us hope they are learning their own lessons. I for one do not want to pack up and go just yet!

[American Friend of China]

Feel much better now after getting that rant out.

Of course, I will both finish my contract with my employer and wait for my wife's visa, as a responsible employee and responsible husband respectively. But those are the two main things keeping me here.

What do I like? I like the history, culture, famous sites, beautiful women, family & friends, those people who behave like good world citizens, and China's independent foreign policy of peace. But those are really the only things I like. Most of the other things, including the cuisine, are not exactly my cup of tea.

But anyway, I should be patient and wait for September to come. And then, after another three years, come back to China in a different capacity, if there's a generous benefits package involved.

[Bertrand]

And how were the first Chinese folks treated in the US? Kicked to death, weren't they? However, I understand your frustrations with the scumbag-Chinese attitude towards everyone other than themselves. Personally, I think you can forget all that hype as regards economic growth, etc. First, most - if not all - of this aforesaid growth is generated via foreign investment; the cash flows from the west and the profits will flow back - forget the Chinese, they won't ever benefit (at least, anyone other than the top 1% will never benefit). I think the whole state will just implode as a direct result of the people and their attitudes; they simply don't - and can't - trust anyone.

[gmat]

AFC's rant comes at a strange time for me. I have been absolutely loving Dalian so far this summer. With the upcoming Asian-European Economic Minister's meeting about to be held here, the city is looking fantastic.

And the weather . Coming from Canada, I hate the heat. However, Dalian appears to be the only place in China that is not oppressively hot, muggy or both. Almost everyday, mostly sunny with tempatures 25-28 degrees C. Nights are pleasant - I HAVE NOT EVEN HAD TO TURN ON MY A/C ONCE!!!!

This is the first time since I moved here last year that I have thought to myself, "Yeah, I could live here and be happy".

I hope I never feel the way you do AFC, but I wish you the best in your future plans.

[smarts]

3 & half years to be in China without a break is a long stretch. I think its a good idea to get out every so often, at least once a year, and get a fresh perspective on things.

[Roger]

What's the last two hundred years of Chinese history to do with modern Chinese barbarian behaviour? Very, very little - nationalism, communism and reunification of the nation-state, yes, but have the Chinese been singled out for any special treatment? That's stretching my imagination beyond the extreme!
Enforced contact with the rest of the world is nothing unique. Happened throughout history in every part of the world. And the Chinese were not innocent "victims" of invaders and colonial powers either - there was no Opium War, it was a prolonged tug-of-war about trading rights much like the negotiations that took 14 years before China could reintegrate the WTO, whose predecessor she had left of her own free will, and to her own mounting chagrin.
Sometimes I think the Chinese should realise that nothing better could have happened to them than Britain occupying Hong Kong and Shanghai one century and a half ago.
Chinese imperialism is as hard-nosed as any - see how they are bullying the Filippinos over the SPratly Islands, VIetnam over the Paracelsus Islands, India over Sikkim. Not to mention past invasions.
How all this can be used as an excuse for Chinese behaviour that is GENERALLY rude and indiscriminate (against themselves as well as against outsiders) I can't understand!

[gmat]

Well said Roger!!

[brsmith15]

I, too, spent 3-1/2 years in the Middle Kingdom and left this last December for some of the solitude and cleanliness of northern New England. Part of the reason for my departure was the fact that I was beginning to lose my temper with a number of things I should have been able to accept.

It finally dawned on me what it was. Think of all the behaviors of a young petulant, spoiled, western child: lack of personal responsibility, rudeness, inability to understand personal hygiene, no respect for others or their property, an unflinching desire to make the most amount of noise for the longest possible time, lack of social graces, staring at other people.

Now does it make more sense?

[Tao Burp]

Great post.
I am frankly sick and f ing tired of listening to people not two feet away making incredibly sickening racist remarks about my Chinese wife. Save me the "foreigners are too blame" crap for China's past. There's no excuse for such infantile racist remarks heaped on me and her everyday. Yeah, I have been here three years, and I have had it. So, I can definitely empathize. Strange thing, though, I can take the crazy driving, the nasty habits, but I just find this whole overt racism sickening. This is the country that will host the Olympics and the World Exposition! I think it's way way way overdue that foreigners here become more vocal and less tolerant of this kind of abuse. We don't need it--we don't want it--and if we take it, we deserve it. Save me the yadda yadda yadda MTV attitude BS. Save me the China hand crap, and most of all, save me the "Whole we are foreign guests" because frankly, at this point, I really don't want to hear it when my wife cries in my arms after hearing a 16 year old girl saying, "OH She's a prostitute!"

[Linda L.]

The key is to remember that we are actually dealing with modern day barbarians. They may look 21st century; they may dress 21st century; they may have 21st century looking cars.

They have one rule of the road - there is no rule of the road. Everyone beware of the truck driver, bus driver, taxi driver, motor-cycle/scooter driver, electric bike driver, pedi cab driver and even the pedestrian who will either bump you or spit on you.

Reminds me so much of home in West Virginia!!!!

Different faces in different places but the same basic human nature.

What is civilization? A car, house, washing machine, automatic dishwasher? Possessions equal progress?

I am telling you that human nature stinks everywhere, not just in China. Civilization is only in the minds of a few who think they are civilized. The rest know better.

In California a young girl was beaten and raped, had her arms hacked off and left for dead. In Chicago a man ate other people for fun.

In West Virginia a young girl was raped, beaten, and left for dead in the forrest. She staggered naked and bleeding to a nearby highway where she flagged down a passing motorist. The motorist offered her a ride to the nearest hospital. Within 5 minutes the victim was victimized again. The good samaritan raped her again and left her by the road to flag another to help.

Quityerdamnbitchinandgetonwithyerlivin. Life is what YOU make of it.

[Seth]

Western democracies may have their problems but the social weirdness in China doesn't even come close to that in the West.

When I first got to China all I heard from Chinese was 'oh, Chinese people are so friendly' and 'Do you want a Chinese wife?' so I thought, well, this won't be too bad. Before I left China, if anyone said those things to me I would laugh out loud. Sure, many Chinese are friendly, but those who are arse holes make 10 times the impression on you. It's like unrelenting emotional abuse everywhere you go.

Hopefully they'll clean up their act before 2008 Olympics. I heard that a lot of people came back from Korea after the World Cup with a very bad taste in their mouth from boorish Koreans.