Job Discussion Forums

[Looking for my place]

Ok. Maybe I want some consoling, maybe I need like minds. I have lived abroad in several Latin American countries and whenever I am away I feel pretty good. My problem is that every time I return to North America, I get sucked in by all the societal pressures to buy a house, settle down, pay into a retirement plan, get married etc. I am in my early thirties and while I think Canada is a great country, I love the adventures of living abroad and feel that as my name depicts, I am looking for my special place in this world. Sometimes I feel other people view me as an irresponsible person running away from the real world. ..... just venting I guess.

So, I love Latin America and am looking for a country where I can spend many years, make a life, find a good job, save some money. Sounds like a dream but I believe they come true. I have lots of experience both in Canada and abroad and also have my MA in education. I am thinking that Chile or Mexico are my best bets. Western Europe is difficult cause I dont have my European passport. Asia would be ok for awhile but not sure if I would like to establish myself there as I feel that after living in Latin cultures, most Asian cultures would seem cold to me. Any other suggestions. Does anyone have any suggestions or contacts with reputable private grade schools or univerisities?

Thanks.

[Guy Courchesne]

I feel EXACTLY as you do, or at least I did. I've permanently resettled into Mexico City.

Obviously, you first have to be comfortable in your skin before anywhere else 'feels right'. for me, part of the reason for going abroad the first time was to find out exactly that...am I comfortable with myself? I think it's hard to expect the outside world to fulfill what seems to be an internal need.

There are opportunities everywhere for such a life as you want. But, like everywhere, you take the good with the bad. I agree with you that Chile or Mexico would be your best bets, on career opportunities alone. Why not post over in the Chile and Mexico forums to find out how others are doing it?

[tedkarma]

I think that you would find that many of us "long timers" overseas - would agree with you about all the middle class pressures. I don't miss them.

I DON'T want a new SUV - a mortgage (just finished paying off several!), a house in the 'burbs or daily work chat about what was on TV last night.

Perhaps one of the best things about relocating is that NO ONE knows you can you can be/create the person you want to be. Funny enough . . . after a few countries - YOU come out and - suprise! - it is usually who you were before - but now you KNOW it - and can't blame it on anyone else - and it quits consuming your mental and emotional energy. Guy is right - it is inside you.

I do like the lower pressure lifestyle - though EFL life does have other pressures. Yearly contracts and semi-flakey schools lead to a level of uncertainty that some people find difficult to deal with.

[QatarChic]

I think you'll find that many of the teachers on this board are in exactly the same position as yourself.

There's nothing worse than going back home (UK in my case) and have people asking you the same Qs you posted, "When are you going settle down? Buy a house? Invest???" I am only 30 and having the time of my life living/working overseas. I can save money, travel and live a comfortable life- I know people in the UK who are living off credit cards!!

I think also, that the very same people who ask us these Qs are also the ones who envy the lifestyle that we have. It takes courage to make the move overseas- but one which is definitely worth it.

[Gregor]

A LOT of us here know what you're going through. I was 31 before I ever left the US and got my TEFL cert. (I did it in that order, too - I got the cert. in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico).
I don't know Chile, but Mexico is pretty chill. You don't earn a lot of money, but as a TEFL teacher, you should be able to earn something on par with other professionals. It's a bit of a struggle, but it's not so bad if you make friends in the area and you compare your life with theirs.
The biggest problem with your people in Canada is that they have different priorities. Maybe you feel "poor" compared with them? That was me, in the U.S. It sucked. Mexico was like flippin' NIRVANA. I still miss it.

Make your life where you are comfortable.

I didn't take my own advice with that. Just as a lark, I took a job offer in Jakarta, Indonesia. The living in Asia is GOOD, so I stayed instead of going back to Mexico.
Now I'm in China, and I have NO regrets, because here, I met the woman who is now my wife. But you can't plan that sort of thing.

My advice to you would be to do what moves you. Be a TEFL teacher. Sometimes you might take grief for the life, the lifestyle, or the job. Just make yourself happy FOR THE MOMENT.
BUT!! Stop there. Do not go further than that. Do not force yourself to settle in Mexico or Chile. Thinking about the future seems like a good idea, and for some people it is. But you need to live a little. Like me - if someone offers you a free plane ticket and house if you only agree to go to Indonesia, AND if you feel like giving it a go, then GIVE IT A GO. Mexico isn't going anywhere. Neither is Chile.
You will not regret anything you do, so long as you do what you WANT to do, NOW. I'm basing this on your original post. You need to learn your own place, NOT in the world, but in your own head.
If you relax, live for taking care of yourself today, and just have faith that you will be able to take care of yourself in the future - in other words, let your Future Self take care of himself, forget about your Past Self and just do what your Present Self wants to do - then you will be more than fine. You will eventually learn whatever it is that you want to know.
Just don't push it. Enjoy life. What you need will come.

[Chris_Crossley]

[Guy Courchesne]

Awesome, Gregor. Anytime you want a visit back to Nirvana, we're happy to host you...

[denise]

This is a great thread. I don�t get too much pressure from the folks back home. An occasional "When are you coming home?", but nothing too heavy-handed or serious. I guess they all just know that I take my job and life seriously. Plus, they get postcards, gifts, stories, and someone to visit!

I place those pressures on myself sometimes, though. I look at what I could have back in the US, and I really need to kick myself in the butt sometimes and remind myself that I don�t want those things! Or at least, not enough to give up what I�ve got now. Cars, furniture, houses, etc.--those things can wait.

I will be 30 in two weeks. There are so many associations in my head with being 30, and none of them match my own life! Just when I was starting to stress out, though, something wonderful happened. I got a new job in a new country. I will be moving to Peru in one week, so I will spend my birthday with a new set of potential friends, a new home to explore, and new adventures to have. I will not be able to do my biggest hobby (snowboarding), so looks like I will just have to go and develop some new hobbies! Everything will be new, new, new! I like the thought of being 30 and having so many opportunities for good times ahead of me.

So, Mr. or Ms. Looking for my Place, things can only get better! Good luck!

d

[Chris_Crossley]

Way to go, Denise! Good luck with your new job in Peru and have all the fun in the world you can!

[nomadder]

Who says living in your home country means you must or even can buy a house, car etc? Great if you make that much but do what you will with the money. Sounds like people want to live somewhere where they can't afford those things.

Anyway I'm thinking about what to do next and it's one of those days where it's hard to see the pieces fitting into my puzzle but thanks for the hope.

Seems a lot of people on here are turning 30 or 40 this year. Me, I'm the latter and possibly more confused than when I was 30.

[denise]

Thanks, Chris! With luck, things will just keep getting better!

Good point, nomadder. Living back home doesn�t mean you have to have or do certain things. We all have our priorities. I remember an ex-boyfriend saying something like, "Wow, I wish I could just pack up and move..." Sorry, pal, but if you really wanted to you would find a way! You have to choose: a down payment on a house, a car, a new stereo system, etc., or a plane ticket to a new adventure and possibly a new life. He chose the house. A perfectly valid choice, but one that makes it difficult to accept him saying, "Oh, if only I could..." I�m guessing, and I truly honestly mean no offense if I am wrong, that most of us would fall somewhere into the middle class back home. Not wealthy enough to always do as we please, but not impoverished enough to have absolutely no say about our jobs or futures. Yes, many of us have to work hard and save to pay for that initial plane ticket and TEFL course (myself included), and maybe we are even dealing with debts back home as we work overseas (myself included again, unfortunately!), but the point is that even though it may be difficult, it is doable if it�s enough of a priority.

d

[Stosskraft]

Great post.

I remember sitting at my desk(at my job back in Canada), staring out the window "there has to be more to life than this?". A year and a half later I sold my house, cars and paid off all me debits and came out to Asia.

2 years and 3 countries later, my only regret is not doing this sooner. I just turned 30 last week, but I feel younger and more alive than when I turned 25!! Now, whenever I stare out a window I can only look back on the last 2 years and be amazed at what I've done, seen and the people I've meet. Now that I have left my old life and started a new one, I never question "is this for me?" as I know deep down this is what I am meant to be doing.

[Gordon]

This is a great thread. Many of us have a lot in common it seems as I agree with almost everything I am reading. We are all at various stages in our life, but we have athis common bond. I think many people "back home" think we are running away from commitments, but I feel it is more of a choice for an alternative life.
I'll put my own spin on this as I often do because of my kids. Once you have kids, these guilty pressures from your family only intensifies. The fact you are pulling their grandkids, nephews, nieces... across the world is the crux of the problem. We have gone back to Canada every summer to see the family and every year I regret doing so. I do see many positives to raising a family overseas. They see a different part of the world and see things from other perspectives.

[QatarChic]

Chris Crossley- Wow! Life has really worked out well for you- good on you mate! and The big 40! Am sure you'll have a good one

I actually turned 30 a few days ago, I was quite apprehensive (like 5 mins before midnight) but after that it was fine....I wanted to make it special so I celebrated it in KL-Malaysia!

Life is what you make of it, you only live once after all

[Ben Round de Bloc]