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[guest of Japan]

I haven't returned home yet, but am planning to soon. The difference is that I'm not planning to return to my home town, but rather a different city.

I think most people who have trouble with culture shock return to their home towns and find that they no longer fit anymore. I'm treating my return to the US as a move to a new country with hopes, but no expectations.

[Jizzo T. Clown]

When I returned home to the US after my first time out (in Japan) I tried for a change of scenery-from small-town Arkansas to a city in the northeast. After a few months of being miserable, I headed to China.
This time when I came back, I moved to a place where I could teach ESL (the pay is meager but that's another story) and I'm counting the days until I can "get back out there." So I don't know if changing locales in your home country is the answer or not...diff'rent strokes...

[Mchristophermsw]

Wow, thanks group for all the great replies.

Reverse culture shock in theory may not be a real schock but for some, rather, a wake up call. I guess it is all what we define as home.

As for me, I was brought up in a family that was ethnocentric, racist, and abusive. Themes of child abuse, alcholism, domestic violence were all apart of everyday life for me.....Yes, we all have our own stories, my God, as a Child Protection Social Worker in the past, I have seen many women and children in the same situation.

Consequently, I moved around alot from one relatives home to another with a fractured self-esteem and abandonment and stability issues. But everything worked out for good for me because I found GOD. That was my anchor to hold on turn things around ( For others it may be something secular, or another supreme power ). In my late twenties I went back to school and became the first person in my family to get a college degree and then a Masters Degree. My expereinces led me to a field were I had a chance to help myself by helping countless others improve the quality of their lives.............and as I reflect on my Journey and why I feel the way do when it comes to CULTURE SHOCK, I identify that it has everything to do with my experiences.

And through it all it turned out to be a good thing, a blessing for me because I have found home in so many places. Mostly Asia and the West Indies. And I see myself settling down in ASIA in the long run.

Reverse Culture Shock, it means different things for different people and I thank everyone for sharing with me and continue to look forward to more post.

And thank you for letting me self-analyze and disclose some personal information.

One last thing, I hear some people write on how happy they are and how they are going to ride this out as long as they can before they have to come back home. My question is why do you have to come back?
People are people everywere. Rich, poor, big houses, small ones etc.
People are getting along on all four corners of the globe. If you found a place that makes you happy that is what counts--why give up something most people never find?

[tedkarma]

Why do people go back "home" if they are doing well overseas?

I think it is their own mental definition of "home" that never made the transition that their work or personal life (or both) did.

My "home" is Phuket - I do go back to the States for family visits - but I won't go back there to live.

I did at one point make the decision to call Phuket "home" though - and it does create a shift in your thinking. And even in the choice of verbiage when talking about "back home" in the States (or your native country wherever) or just "home" - wherever you have decided that will be.

I frequently say that "My home is Phuket" or "My home is on Phuket " and it is - but because I am not Thai - you would be surprised how often people ask me about OWNING a house on Phuket - because they think that my "home" is a physical purchased house! - rather than the place where I feel I belong and where I intend to live until I die.

Even funnier/stranger - you hear all the time on Phuket about older people who die and SHIP their bodies back to where they came from. WHY!? I guess I know why - but it seems like some odd psychological mal-adjustment to me.

Have to add a small edit: I think another component is people who feel like this life overseas isn't "real" and is only a delaying tactic before starting their "real life" "back home."

[Mchristophermsw]

Ted,

Wonderful post and I agree about the aspect of home that most people have. While a nice house aint bad, it is not home. LOL

I remember growing up as a child and living in 3 story house on a hill.
One of my friends told me at the time that I was so lucky to live in a Mansion ( It was not a Mansion, but when your 7 or 8 houses look much bigger [LOL ]) but to me it was a Prison, a place of horror that I had to go to hear screaming and fighting, watch my grandmother be bullied and abused by my grandfather.

It is all about perception and experiences that define home. I am glad that you consider Phuket Home. And I am so honored to call you friend.

I do agree that some people are putting off the enevitable of coming back.
There is a study I onced read (cant find it now ) that most people live in day within a 20 mile radious. I think that is sad on one hand, but on the other hand, if they found home within that radious then that is what is important.

On the other hand, I have met too many people that are not happy with their lives that will not do anything to change it-----ooh, CHANGE, that is another issue that most people struggle with LOL

Thanks agian for sharing your thoughts TED

[Looking for my place]

While I dont know if I would call it culture shock, I find that I am usually shocked by how much has not changed since I left. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends dearly, but I just can't believe that when I haven't seen them in a year, the only interesting thing some of them come up with is talk about how many times they have repainted the house. I often feel like a complainer when I am back home, complaining about how boring my small home town ( 50 000) is, and how there is nothing exciting here. I also find that people here tend to get married and then their sense of adventure dies, and they become satisfied with staying home and watching movies every weekend. AHHHH

I also agree with the question as to why people feel they eventually HAVE to return to their home country. I have been struggling with the whole, " You're getting older,(32)why dont you settle down, " thing but feel that while there are many great benefits to being Canadian, it just doesnt get my passion going. I understand why some people might feel that they are being irresponsible by living aboard, cause many feel a responsible life shouldnt be so full of adventure. I will fight this notion to the end and hope that I am able to find my place, a place where I will want to stay and make or maybe purchase a home, not cause society says I have to, but because I have found where my soul belongs.

[Guy Courchesne]

[Mchristophermsw]

Guy,

I agree, once you get bit its too late

I havent taught yet overseas but have lived in several countries doing other work from time to time and gosh I need to get back out of the US soon or I will go bonkers LOL

Yes, if one has the luxury to take a step out, it is a truly amazing experience

[Gordon]

[spidey]

[guest of Japan]

I liked your post spidey. Certainly everything is relative and a matter of perspective. After 5 years in Japan I don't feel any travel excitement anymore. My life is just as humdrum as that of my friends back home. As a married person it's not so easy to just jump ship to new countries everytime I get the itch. And quite honestly I don't get the itch anymore. I'm quite happy with humdrum. I just want to do it with more career opportunities on the horizon. And, I'd like a dog.

[Guy Courchesne]

[nomadder]

"History is an endless repetition of the wrong way of living."

Lawrence Durrell

[Stephen Jones]

[Looking for my place]

I understand that after settling in and living in a new country for awhile, you probally get into the mode of repetition and sameness. BUT I think and hope that the difference is that unlike others who claim to be trapped in the same town they have always lived in, I will at least be able to say that I explored for a while and instead of becoming stuck I found and chose the place I wished to stay.