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[The Dog Ate My Keitai]

I've been in Japan long enough to become acclimitized and to allow the many frustrations of integrating into a new culture slide off my back. But some days I just want to scream!

This is one of those days. I need to vent, alright... Please allow me the indulgance of just ranting for a minute so I can get this off my chest and start to feel better... So if you don't want to read my brief "Japan rant" stop reading here and click onto the next thread...

Even though most of the schools where I work KNOW that I've lived in Japan for several years now and that I can communicate reasonably well in Japanese, I never cease to get the dumbest, most frustrating comments from both students and teachers alike.

First of all, everything I do is "jouzu." Whether it's speaking Japanese, using my chopsticks, speaking English, even typing on the computer, I am followed by gazes of amazement and comments of ".......ga jouzu desu ne..." (You do ________ well!)

Second, I'm always surprised by how little people seem to know about the West -- Canada or the United States. Okay, I can forgive the grade 1-2 students who ask whether we have dogs, chairs, rice or pencils in Canada, but when I start getting adult teachers asking similar questions, I start to get worried.

It also never ceases to amaze the locals that so many things are the same in North America as they are in Japan. Whether it's structure of a family unit, going to the hairdresser or driving your car to work, people seem to think that perhaps foreigners drive around in their jet-cars or something.

I just about went crazy today. I felt like some little gremlin snuck into the school this morning and beat everyone with a stupid-stick.

As I sat down to lunch in the staff room, the kocho sensei asks me whether I am familiar with rice... (This whole conversation occured in Japanese, by the way).

"Umm, yeah..." I respond, quizically.

Then I proceeded to open up the little packet of rice seasoning and pour it over my bowl of rice.

A number of teachers immediately had to remark how "JOUZU" my seasoning-pouring-ability was... I tried so hard not to roll my eyes...
Prior to this, at least one teacher proceeded to explain to me what this little seasoning packet was, even though I assured her that having lived in Japan as long as I had, I was very familiar with what it was and how to use it.

I do believe that it was the same teacher who, during recess, tried (quite unsuccessfully) to explain to me in English what "manjuu" was, and that it was a Japanese "o-kashi" When I replied (in Japanese) that I was very familiar with them, and they I tended to enjoy them during my practice of tea ceremony, you could've knocked her over with a feather.

Then, no sooner did I pick up my chopsticks, when the dreaded, innevitable, "O-hashi ga jouzu desu ne!" eminated from the kocho sensei, with grunts of agreement from the other teachers.

Trying even HARDER not to roll my eyes, my mind drew an immediate blank in trying to dream up a reasonably cynical, pithy retort... So I opted for the "national pride insult" route, and casually told them that Japanese chopsticks were, in fact, the easiest to use, and that Korean chopsticks were much more difficult. "Ha! Gotcha!" I thought to myself, bringing the room to an abrupt silence.

Naively, I thought that I could finish my lunch in peace. My hopes, of course, were dashed by the kyoto sensei, who asked whether we have McDonalds in Canada.

I replied, "But of course. McDonalds started in the U.S. Being their neighbours, it only makes sense that we would have McDonalds too. And lots of them to boot."

So he asks, "How about KFC? Do you have KFC?"

Not wanting to entertain this brand of ridiculousness, I just replied, "mochiron" and left it at that.

Not being the one to give up easily, the kyoto sensei proceeds to ask me my wife's name, which I'm more than happy to give, but for some reason he's not happy with the answer. Then it dawns on me what he's getting at. Calmly, I explain to him that in Canada it is very common for spouses to share the same last name, with the woman usually taking on the last name of her husband.

For some reason, he was under the impression that this was not the case, and continued to mumble to himself that in Japan it's different and he has it on good authority that in North America we all have different last names even though we're married.

The students today were only a bit better, asking me whether we had basketball in Canada, (imagine their surprise to learn the whole darn thing was invented by a Canadian)... Then, I had dozens of kids running up to me asking for autographs. Fortunately they were rather reasonable when I explained to them that I wasn't a celebrity and they'd be better off hunting down their favorite soccer player or music artist....

I tell ya, I enjoy Japan, but on days like this I just feel like running home, banging my head against the wall repeatedly, then curling up into a fetal position and sucking on a bottle of beer.

Anyway, I'm wanted in my next class, so my rant's finished.

Thanks for listening!

/rant

[SEndrigo]

ha ha ha....this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read !!!

the basketball comment takes the cake!! Naismith would be rolling in his grave !

If it makes you feel any better, I get the 上手 comments too, at least in regards to the chopsticks, eating a beef bowl, or anything else related to food.

I've stopped hearing "Nihongo jouzu desu ne" all the time, though I still hear it occasionally. My Japanese isn't great, but good enough to carry on conversations in any public place. I still can't discuss politics or science, but I can have meaningless conversations with people. ha ha ha !

The lack of general knowledge about the West is just frightening...shocking !!

I'll play devil's advocate for a moment in regards to why Japanese may always calls us "jouzu" when we speak Japanese.....from my experience, 95 percent of the foreigners I've met here couldn't speak Japanese to save their lives....and most don't care to.

So, supposing you are Japanese....and you meet/talk to 100 foreigners, 95 of whom can't speak Japanese....using deductive reasoning, you'd assume foreigners can't or don't want to speak Japanese.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it is reasonable or polite to patronize people, but from my experience I've found that Japanese people are shocked when a foreigner can speak Japanese....maybe this is their way of dealing with it?

anyway, they can "jouzu" themselves until they turn blue in the face....we don't get 6 years of Japanese study in school, and if we did, we'd speak Japanese a whole lot better than they speak English!

So, jouzu THIS!

cheers

[Brooks]

where do you live in Japan?
Those people are really ignorant.

[The Dog Ate My Keitai]

To protect the "innocent" let's just say I'm in the Kanto area, and not in a big city (but not in a small village either)...

I dunno if it's bona-fide ignorance, or if it's just the Japanese way of making small-talk...

In any event, I guess the reason why it drives me batty to be "jouzu" at everything, is because I get embarassed, knowing full well that I'm nowhere near as "jouzu" as they are making me out to be.

I try to reciprocate sometimes, gushing compliments back at THEM -- maybe then they can really know how it feels for me... But I still didn't have the chutzpah today to tell the kocho-sensei that his mastery of the a spork was "jouzu," although heaven knows, I should have.

*spork: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spork

[Brooks]

my wife says that stuff like that is just aisetsu but I can`t agree.
It just seems weird to have people say stuff like that.
I guess some of them just think that people from the West can`t do things so if they do it is amazing.

I think people saying that your Japanese is jouzu is a way of encouraging you to study.

On another note, back in May I met my wife`s friend and she made dinner. She cooked well and seemed concerned about what I preferred to eat. She asked if I could eat vegetables. Of course, I said. I am not a caveman that only eats meat, I thought.


Why don`t you start ordering soba for lunch every day and slurp louder than anybody? See what kind of reaction you get.

[Lynn]

[pnksweater]

[fox1]

[canuck]

[Zzonkmiles]

[quote="SEndrigo"]I've stopped hearing "Nihongo jouzu desu ne" all the time, though I still hear it occasionally. My Japanese isn't great, but good enough to carry on conversations in any public place. I still can't discuss politics or science, but I can have meaningless conversations with people.[/quote]

When the Japanese stop complimenting you on your Japanese, that usually means your Japanese is actually getting very good. The Japanese will heap lots of "jouzus" on the newbie foreigner who can barely say "konnichiwa" and write his/her name in sketchy katakana. But if your Japanese gets really good, the Japanese will be impressed, but they will also tend to simply converse with you (in their language) and save their platitudes for the next newbie they come across.

[guest of Japan]

Though it can get very grating, I too believe that the jouzu stuff is just aisatsu. They simply don't know what to talk about with you. If you continue to give one word answers then the problem will continue because the others won't be able to find a starting point for the conversation. Try to have a sense of humor about it, and remember sarcasm doesn't work well in Japan.

[silent-noise]

ketai, i dunno if you meant to create the subject line with this in mind...but it totally reminded me of that old bryan adams song "everything i do...i do it for you".....the mental picture of the music video for "everything i do..i do it jozou" is somewhat hilarious...

[Perpetual Traveller]

[homersimpson]

[Perpetual Traveller]