Job Discussion Forums

[Guy Courchesne]

Inspired by a day off work, a bottle of wine, and an urge to filet my neighbor's dog, I have come up with this.

The First Annual Latin America TEFL Olympics

Now, understanding that every country in this region is different, a number of events will need to be proposed by representatives in their host countries.

I, teaching in Mexico, propose these two events.

The 19L Electropura Water Garrafon Toss

TEFLers will compete in this signature event by first having to run 200m to the nearest corner store with an empty, then fumble for correct change, and ask, in passable Spanish for a new one. If a number of customers are at the store, the TEFLer will need to push and shove and shout over everyone to secure the purchase of a new, full garrafon. Once the TEFLer has the full garrafon, he or she will have to run back to the start line and from there toss the full bottle of water as far as possible. Extra style points awarded for the funniest face made while heaving.

The Street Vendor Haggle-off

This event will see various TEFLers competing to haggle for the best price from a street vendor in three categories. 1) the taco stand. 2) the tourist trinket. 3) the pirate DVD. TEFLers will not be allowed to speak in Spanish, though gesticulating is permitted. The TEFLer with the lowest price quote in each category wins. Extra points awarded if a TEFLer manages to sell something of his or her own to the vendor.

[Perpetual Traveller]

Since France has recently become an honorary member of Latin America I thought I should contribute a couple of events.

The first is the:

Non-Designer Shopping Challenge

The TEFLers have an entire afternoon in which to scour the department stores of Paris looking for an item that is not designer made. Participants are allowed to seek help from the shop assistants but only in English and broken French, which they will of course pretend not to understand. Fastest times and least expensive items will be taken into account when scoring.

And the second:

Fat-Free Snacking Challenge
In a similar vein to the shopping challenge this time TEFLers will have to locate a single snack that is not guaranteed to clog the arteries at fifty paces. The participants will have the morning to locate and search an unlimited number of bakeries within their allocated area. Extra points for those who manage to find an item without succumbing to the temptation to sample everything else.

PT

[Guy Courchesne]

That's the spirit!

Gringo Dance Competition

TEFLers will have a chance to live it up with events hosted at some of the finest Latin dance clubs in Latin America. Competitors will square off in the following categories. 1) Salsa. 2) Merengue. 3) Lambada. 4) Quick, where is the nearest WC?

Points decucted for - extending one's thumb while dancing, kicking, excessive laughter from the judges bench.

[keepwalking]

How about The single-server competition.

TEFLers are given a shopping list that includes items that cannot be bought at the market. They have to complete the shopping list as quickly as possible, being served by only one person in each shop. Points are deducted each time the person they ask for the product passes them over to someone else who gets the keys to the shelf-unit and then hands them over to a third person who gets the item off the shelf before passing them over to another person to pay and a final person to put said item into a bag.

Additional points are availabe to the TEFLer who can come up with the best 'how many peruvians (insert appropriate nationality) does it take to sell a bottle of shampoo' joke.

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[matttheboy]

For Buenos Aires:

Teflers have to eat a half kilo steak without saying "And it only costs 3 dollars!!!"

Female teflers have to find clothes in an average shop that are large enough to accomodate more than a stick.

Teflers have to find accomodation for less than 4 times the amount that locals pay.

And finally,

Teflers must undergo a rigorous training program (or a minimum of a 4 week on-site course) and ditch those stupid trouser-short thingies before even thinking about looking for a job.

[Guy Courchesne]

What a novel way to gripe! And in the friendly, cooperative spirit that is the Olympics.

Survivor: Chilis of Mexico

TEFLers in this rookie-only event will endure the ultimate test by going through four grueling rounds of chili-eating competition. Contestants can choose from a wide variety of meats normally considered inedible in other countries, to serve up a minimum of 45 grams of red hot (or green hot) salsa, starting with the mild chile de arbol and finishing with the putative chile habanero.

[matttheboy]

Teflers must queue for 3 hours in the rain for the chance to wait for a further 4 hours in another queue 3 weeks later in order to wait 4 months for his/her hand-written ID card. Oh, hang on...that's not an event...

Teflers must go through a whole week without whining about how little they earn. Bonus points for for admitting that they earn more than an average family of 4 and that most Argentines would kill to earn the same amount of money.

Teflers must mock diego maradona at every available opportunity (the stomach-stapled cheating drug addict). Extra super special bonus points if you manage to sit through "La Noche del 10" without cringing in embarassment.

Teflers must do something other than take, take, take. Bonus points for every 25 centavos given to the homeless and/or cartoneros

And finally (although i have some more fantastic ideas up my sleeve), Teflers must reach the age of 22.

[Guy Courchesne]

Hmmm...

For the not-so-athleticly-inclined...an online event!

The step-right-up-and-take-your-best-crack-at the Moonraven competition

This veterans-only event is the test of champions, for which no one has ever won the gold medal. Contestants, in 24-hour rounds, will debate a variety of topics ranging from Venezuelan politics, to poetry analysis, to proper hygiene. Bonus points awarded for style, keeping one's cool, and zippity zingers.

[Justin Trullinger]

And for those who really should be doing some work, it's....the OFF LINE challenge.

TEFLers will compete to see who can go the longest time WITHOUT posting on Dave's! Medical attention available for those who go into withdrawal.

Any takers?

Justin

[Guy Courchesne]

Oh God, I withdraw from that competition. Got a dizzy spell just contemplating it.

[Perpetual Traveller]

JT YOU BLASPHEMER!!!!!

Which brings to my next event! Drumroll please...it's the:

Get JT To Post A Photo Challenge
This event is particularly intrigueing because in its entire history not one its participants has ever succeeded! Extra points are awared for the most inventive ways to taunt Justin and the number of other threads that you can relate back to this challenge.

Which reminds me

Poetry In Commotion
This sees the competitors composing sonnets, limericks and even epics. High points are awarded to those who manage to mention JT but any TEFL related topic, no matter how random, is a high earner.

PT

[Perpetual Traveller]

Dangit, double post, can we attribute these to the critical error ghoulie?

[RyanS]

Man you must be really excited about this eh?

[Justin Trullinger]

My original reason for not posting a photo had to do with a lack of a good digital one (easily fixed, I know) and VERY slow internet speeds in Ecuador. It was just a pain. (You'll notice I don't even have an avatar, for heaven's sake.) But I'm sure I would have managed it sooner or later. But now, it's turned into a really fun game of- "What will PT come up with next?" Nobody has paid so much attention to me since I was a street performer!

So, what's next, PT? I'm looking forward to it!

Justin

PS

The next TEFL event! "the TIME SPENT ONLINE" marathon. Who can stay connected longest? Leaving your computer hooked up while you're in class doesn't count. YOu must post at least every fifteen minutes for your connection to be considered valid! (Now we'll see who really has a job!)

[MELEE]

I didn't post from the first to the seventh, do I win, the offline event?????

I also want to compete in Matt's no whining about how much they make, I earn more than the average family of six! I've bought a car and a house, I put my husband through school, and most Mexicans would love to earn what I make, but most Mexican adolesents (or their parents) aren't willing to spend as much time in school as I did. (Have I ever mentioned that I have a great job?)


Connecting another thread, how about the break the large bill competition.

The TEFLers must enter downtown area of their city with their countries largest demonination note and try to buy anything costing less than 85% the value of that note. There are two branches of this competition, one is the speed competition and one is the artistic competition in which the winner is the one who gets the vender to go around looking for change after convencing them its their responsibly as a businessperson. (Extra points will be given if the TEFLer is secretely hiding exact change in another pocket, but not using it because they will need change to pay the cleaner later that day.)

Shop for onecompetition
The TEFLer must go to a market, not a supermarket or conerstore and buy the following items.

1/4 kilo of tomatoes
1/16 kilo of mushrooms
1 onion
a sprig of parsely

the key to this competition is that you must pay for the items, if any vendor offers to just give it to you, you will be automatically disqualified.

And I know that Guy named one of his events "the Gringo Dance" but of course that is already taken by the event requiring foreigners to behave badly at immigration and be shocked when the immigration officials behave badly in return.