Job Discussion Forums

Lucy Snow · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 218 Location: US

This was emailed to me:

After every Qantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet
which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft that need repair or correction. The form used is a piece of paper on which the pilot completes the top part listing the problem, which the mechanics read and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, so the pilot on the next flight of that plane can review the form before taking off. Never let it be said that ground crews and mechanics lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot, S = the solution and action
taken by mechanics).
Qantas, by the way, is the only major airline that has never had
an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in c o c k pit.
S: Something tightened in c o c k pit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in c o c k pit.
S: Cat installed

aaronschwartz · Joined: 17 Jul 2003 Posts: 145 Location: Beijing

Lucy Snow has finally made a post that can not be topped by anyone, ever!!!!!!!

Thanks for the laughs Lucy!!!!

richard ame · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 319 Location: Republic of Turkey

Lucy snow you little tinker ,what a cracker I nearly wet myself got any more ??????????

MrBackpack · Joined: 05 Apr 2003 Posts: 14

omar805 · Joined: 18 Jan 2003 Posts: 69 Location: Thailand

and Qantas no longer has a non-accident record since one of their jumbos slid of a runway in Bangkok.

Lucy Snow · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 218 Location: US

richard ame · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 319 Location: Republic of Turkey

Theres always got to be a downer "oh a friend sent me one of those months ago about a different airline" said the kill joy Mr no mark back pack, so why didn't you send it before Lucy did wise arse??????

MrBackpack · Joined: 05 Apr 2003 Posts: 14

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

No. Please share. Lucy, that was funny.

Ben Round de Bloc · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1946

bnix · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 645

When will they finally get a "u"?No seriously(well kind of,anyway),Lucy,thanks for the laughs.Maybe their maintenance crew are former TESOL teachers? Laughing

Repair an aircraft?Hey,anybody can do that? Laughing

It would be nice if all of those people stranded in that "job action" by British Airlines employees could see Lucy's post.A lot of them could probably do with a few chuckles....after camping out in the airport for three or four days... Rolling Eyes

MrBackpack · Joined: 05 Apr 2003 Posts: 14

richard ame · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 319 Location: Republic of Turkey

Well Mr back pack prince Charming here again in case you weren't aware ripping the p out of each other is what happen here on a daily basis ,who said "engaging zero six, we have a target rich area " ???