Job Discussion Forums

candy_girl · Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Posts: 14

I am a female considering teaching in Japan. I would like to know if anyone is themselves gay or lesbian and out and how your experiences have been. Similarly if you are not gay yourself, do you know of anyone who is openly gay, and if so how have their experiences been? Does anyone know of any famous gay individuals in Japan? How has their reception been from the general public?

pnksweater · Joined: 24 Mar 2005 Posts: 173 Location: Tokyo, Japan

There are plenty of homosexual males on TV. But it's all in a campy, isn't that funny sort of way. The gay Japanese I do know aren't loud and proud about their orientation... but it's pretty easy to tell what the score is. I think a large amount of the discrimination that does occur happens in the form of pay increases and such that are tied to the husband getting married and providing for a family. If you don't have a wife, you don't get the pay increase. English conversation schools don't operate in that way, so it's not really a big deal.

There are a couple big differences though. Be aware that many Japanese confuse cross-dressing or transvestites with homosexuality. Also, people aren't as open with their orientation as they are back home. There isn't much interest in being 'out'. But it isn't such a big deal who someone is sleeping with.

I live in Tokyo so take this with a pinch of big city salt.

Big John Stud · Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 513

I do know a bi-sexual woman friend. She says, she has to remain in the closet because if people found out, she would probably loose her job and most of all if everyone knew she has a girlfriend and a boyfriend her family would most definitely be disgraced!
Tokyo is probably the most open minded city in Japan. The smaller towns are much more conservative!

pnksweater · Joined: 24 Mar 2005 Posts: 173 Location: Tokyo, Japan

BJS, most bisexual people don't keep one of each model at home. I think it's her unusual sexual practices that might get her fired. Wink

In Tokyo, that's just how homosexuality is seen, as an unusual sexual practice. Maybe you're into bondage, maybe you go for the nurse thing, maybe you like guys. It goes without saying that a lot of homosexuals and lesbians will have regular married lives and then they have their romantic life. (This seems to apply to many married people in fact)

But yeah, people aren't out. Even if everyone in the office knows there's a reason why the purple feather boa is hanging in the cubical, they won't raise the point. This is a country where the "nail that sticks out is hammered down". Are you comfortable with that?

Brooks · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1369 Location: Sagamihara

the gays I know are in the closet.

Gays are on TV. The ones I know of are in comedy, talk shows, and one dances. The dancer has the samba dance.
Ken Hirai is a singer, and there is another male singer who is on TV. I think he sings enka.

Shinjuku is the best place to meet gays and lesbians.

mrjohndub · Joined: 19 Sep 2005 Posts: 198 Location: Saitama, Japan

...Whoops, I posted twice by accident and tried to delete but couldn`t find the option

mrjohndub · Joined: 19 Sep 2005 Posts: 198 Location: Saitama, Japan

Send a PM to fluffyhamster. He`s gay... Wink

But seriously, I know a few people who are gay/lesbian, both Japanese and foreign. They have no troubles finding social options in Tokyo, getting involved with community type things when they feel like it, and one is even participates in activism. I think it`s safe to say that you`d enjoy the city more than the country...the bigger the better.

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

I remember reading there was a young woman who was an open lesbian and won a seat on the city council in Osaka becuase gay peoples needs were not being represented in govt policies. She wrote a book recently and she said often people are uncomfortable with her sexuality mainly becuase they dont know how to broach the subject without sounding prejudiced or they dont know the right questions to ask.

Many of the 'gays' on TV are camp but Im not sure if its an act a stage persona or they are in fact gay/homosexuals.

Mikawa Kenichi, The twin fashion designer brothers on most quiz shows, Miwa Akinori (the one with yellow hair) and the effeminate guy on TV who draws manga and wears cowboy hats. I think Kappa is probably gay as well.

candy_girl · Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Posts: 14

I'd like to thank everyone for their replies, gives an idea of what the climate is in Japan in regards to gays and lesbians. PaulH your comments are very insightful as always. I have also read about the out lesbian woman involved in politics and I think her story is very interesting and hopeful. Maybe there are others similar in Japan at this point in time.

candy_girl

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

kdynamic · Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 562 Location: Japan

Keep in mind that your experience as a gay gaijin will be VERY different than the experience of a gay Japanese. There is an overwhelming consensus here that "there are no gay Japanese." When in fact gay Japanese often get married, keep up appearances, and sleep with whomever they want on the weekends (or what have you). There IS however a pretty widespread idea that there are lots of gays in the west, and it's not really looked down upon that much. (I live in the countryside and it's stull pretty accepted). But think ALL gaijin are usually better off not telling people they work with ANYTHING about their love life, no matter who they are sleeping with. It turns in to gossip faster than you would beleive.

hivans · Joined: 29 Aug 2004 Posts: 51 Location: fukuoka

I live in southern Kyushu which has the reputation of being a bit of a conservative area, and practically no one I know is "out" - although no seems to have encountered any problems. The (male) gay scene is fairly discreet, and the lesbian one even more so. Where I live there are 6 or 7 bars for gay men, but I think only two for lesbians, and the male and female scenes are pretty separate. I suspect that male gays have an easier time of it and are less likely to encounter prejudice, and although it might feel like a step back into the closet I would suggest it would better not to come out at work.

For both gay men and women meeting via the internet is really huge - much more common than going to bars. It would pay you to try to learn to read and write some Japanese so that you can access these web sites. I also think speaking Japanese may be more important for us than our straight colleagues if you want to become a part of the gay and lesbain community.

I note that one poster said the experience of a gay foreigner will be very different from a gay Japanese person. Whilst this is certainly true, from my experience there is one very positive side to the gay scene here. Many foreigners here say that even after many years they still feel as if they are regarded as outsiders. Maybe I am lucky with my friends, but I have found that I am always treated as belonging to our circle just as much as anyone else. I suppose that in a sense we are outsiders to the main stream already so people feel drawn together. Should you come to Japan, I hope you will be as lucky as I have been in making really close friends (and I am sure you will be). If you do come to Japan, and your destination is Kyushu, please feel free to PM me and I will try to find out some information on the lesbian scene here.

Of course, my comments reflect my own experiences in one part of the country, and I am sure that the situation in big cities like Tokyo and Osaka would be very different.

markle · Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Posts: 1316 Location: Out of Japan

Are there not big gay and lesbian dance parties? I seem to remember something in Japazine, try the website.

fluffyhamster · Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 5:54 pm Post subject:

TiGrBaLm · Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:30 am Post subject:

So Hirai Ken is Gay?

Sad