Job Discussion Forums

[thelmadatter]

What do you do on the worst days of culture shock. You are (physically) sick. You are (physically) tired. You are sick and tired of everything -- and still have to be a work. I locked myself in my office today and as ashamed as I am to admit this ( I am gringo after all) I broke down and cried.

Ive been told this happens but it sure doesnt feel "normal"

[seriouslydog]

Hey thelmadatter,

I leave for Mexico in less than two weeks now and culture shock is a big concern for me. I'm very interested in Mexico, the culture and the language, its history, but I also know that it is going to take some major adjusting too. Maybe it's a good thing, it means you're adjusting, you get through this and things are sure to be easier. I've read some pretty interesting articles on culture shock and from what I've read everyone goes through it at some level.

What would really be helpful, is if maybe you could tell some of us newbies about it. What can I expect? What are some of the things I'm going to feel?

all the best

seriously,

dog

[Lee_Marrero]

I had my breakdown days too!!! It is actually a combination of things that will make you lose it. In Mexico they include: persistent, annoying vendors, persistent annoying taxi drivers, stress from worrying about food quality (ie does this taco have typhoid), Mexican laziness (flojera) repetitive classes etc. There is a high burnout rate in la republica. For me it was caused partly by being required to cover classes for ever ship-jumping teachers. at one point I was working 7 classes a day and 1 4 hour class on Saturday. I wasnt required to do it I just felt bad for the students. I found that it is helpful when the school allows a level of creative input from the teacher this makes for me enjoyable tailored classes that are smoother and hence less stressful.

[Ben Round de Bloc]

After living in Mexico for 8 years, I find that I still get irritated and upset about some things but not nearly as much as I did when living and working in the USA. Also, I find that I get over it much more quickly here. I suspect that's because I find life and my job to be so much less stressful here. So many things that would've driven me right up the wall in the States don't really bother me that much in Mexico.

I think it's important to become informed about the phases of culture shock before moving here. Not that this will prevent a person from experiencing culture shock, but I think it somehow makes culture shock easier to deal with. At least a person knows that what he's feeling isn't abnormal.

One of my biggest problems was learning how to say no and mean it. It seems to me that Mexicans are especially prone to asking a lot of others. If a person agrees to do something once, it's taken for granted that he'll continue to do it and be asked to do more. Mexicans cope with similar situations by responding either with, "I'll do it ma�ana," or by agreeing to do something but then not doing it. As foreigners wanting to fit in and be accepted, I think we often tend to over-extend ourselves, which can add stress and lead to exhaustion.

A person also has to keep in mind that lots of things that are accepted as true, correct, or right in his own culture may not be viewed in the same light in Mexico. That doesn't necessarily mean that a person has to change his own values and ethics. However, it helps a lot if one realizes that the same values and ethics that are common in his own culture may not be common in Mexican culture or at least may not be adhered to as strongly. Regarding cultural aspects, it's not so much a matter of something of one culture being right and something of another culture being wrong but just that they're different.

[dduck]

As Mr Rant-Master I can offer the following advice: I find TV is good for numbing the mind, if you're feeling low find something fun to watch on TV. Eating and sleeping does wonders for making you feel better. And as Tim suggests don't let other people take control of your life. Being nice 100% of the time is very exhausting, learn to be assertive, or in my case just plain nasty! Grrrrrr! And finally, I find teaching improves my mood no end. Just as well

You've taken the first positive step, that is, by talking about it.

Iain

[some waygug-in]

Nothing to be ashamed of. We all find moving to a foreign country stressful at times. For me, the thing that helped the most was having a lot of foreigner friends who were going through the same things or similar things as me.
I know you may have been told that the worst thing you can do is sit around with a bunch of whiny ex-pats and complain, but there is a time and a place for everything. Sometimes it is helpful to sit and compare notes with fellow sufferers. My first job in Mexico, I was quite lucky to work with a great bunch of teachers who, for the most part, were really quite interesting people. We really didn't have a lot in common except that suddenly, we were all pons in the same game, and we all had similar feelings regarding our new "slave Lord". I made some of the best friends I'll ever have that year.
I'm not saying you won't meet some wackos, there were a few of them too. But mostly, the other teachers seemed quite willing to help each other out.

I don't know where you are in Mexico, perhaps in DF, this would not be so easy.

I really don't think I experienced true culture shock in Mexico. I was too involved in exploring what was around me. I loved to go for long walks, checking out different neighborhoods, checking out the little stores and shops around. But then, I lived in Queretaro and safety was not a concern. In Mexico, it wasn't the culture that I found difficult, it was the lack of money.


In Korea, I found out what culture shock was all about. I don't know if I really have gotten over it yet. (I've been here 2 years) There are still those days when I tear my hair out and ask "WTF am I doing here?"

Having a hobby helps. Reading books helps. But nothing is better than having some friends you can talk to.

I hope this helps
cheers

[dduck]

[desultude]

It amazes me how different people experience things differently. Sorry, waygug, but I have been just fine in Korea. It must depend on the person, and also the job and peer group. I suspect age has something to do with it also, and life experience.

Please don't misunderstand- I do not want to live in Korea for the rest of my I guess for me feeling "at home" is not my goal at the moment, and life. I read on the Korea forum posts all of the time from people that are so unhappy here. But it is not the universal experience. I haven't heard any of my colleagues saying the sort of things I read there. Maybe its Seoul? I do like the city, but then I don't live there. I also love D.F., so maybe I am just a bit strange (well, I guess I am acually).

If I really hated a place I would leave, if at all possible. But there are things that keep people here, millions of them, in the paycheck every month.

Seriously, waygug, you are so right about having friends to thrash it out with. But there is one guy in my program that is so negative about everything (weirdly, not about Korea, but about the program and other teachers and life in general). I found that he brought me down all of the time, so I avoid him whenever possible. I find that choosing who you hang with is key to how you are feeling about a place.

[some waygug-in]

What do I find stressful about Korea?