| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
pokey2658
Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 15
|
 Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:50 pm Post subject: Trying to keep my husband |
 |
|
| I am an English teacher in China. I came here with my husband. This is a land for the male ego to be stroked. The girls are just in awe of a white foreign male. He flirts and they go for it. I thought my married was stable but I have learned that these girls really want a foreign man at all costs. Is this something other couples have run into? I�m not sure if my marriage will take this. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Yu
Joined: 06 Mar 2003
Posts: 1219
Location: Shanghai
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 2:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I think it all boils down to if you trust him and if he is worthy of your trust.
Stay away from pink massage places.
Some KTV has special services.
Can always opt for an open marriage and go get yourself a hot asian guy! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Sgt Killjoy
Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 438
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
Many marriages in Thailand have been destroyed by the same factors.
You might be lucky, but any women contemplating going overseas with her husband needs to give a lot of thought about this very issue. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
pokey2658
Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 15
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:10 am Post subject: Hum |
|
|
I don't think my marriage will make it though this. There are just to may distraction for him. I just can�t be Asian and under 25. I haven�t been 20 for a very long time.
The life here is wonderful. But there are a lot of girls looking for a way out of it.
I can understand why they hunt foreigners. I just wish they would have left my husband out.
I thought that after 15 years it wouldn�t be as big a deal. But I forgot about the ego boast. You learn a lot about your self traveling. You also learn a lot about your partner. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
khmerhit
Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Well, you've got two choices. you can get jealous and harrass him, whether he is unfaithful or not -- or you can go with the flow and let him do what he likes. he will do what he likes either way. Some men, believe it or not, do not even fancy Asian women. But men dont like daily fits of jealousy that endure for months and years, either. Bit of a turnoff. Up to you, as they say. Good luck. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Glenski
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 9:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| If he is the one who is flirting, don't you think you ought to be talking to him? It is not so much a matter of cultural differences and blaming the foreign women as realizing that your husband is not as betrothed to you as you thought. Was he anything like this back home? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Aramas
Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 874
Location: Slightly left of Centre
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:44 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Just make sure he's always broke. That should minimise any potential interest from local lasses. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Welshguy
Joined: 06 Jan 2005
Posts: 143
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 5:41 pm Post subject: ? |
|
|
Travelling does change your life........................
but no one said it would be for the better unfortunately.
From what you say it sounds like they are hunting his passport/pocket and not the dude himself. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
guangho
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 476
Location: in transit
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:06 pm Post subject: Re: ? |
|
|
| Welshguy wrote: |
| From what you say it sounds like they are hunting his passport/pocket and not the dude himself. |
Something fellow carriers of the X chromosome should keep in mind when approached by young'ins half their age and one third their body weight.... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cdaniels
Joined: 21 Mar 2005
Posts: 663
Location: Dunwich, Massachusetts
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject: Re: ? love and marraige |
|
|
| guangho wrote: |
| Something fellow carriers of the X chromosome should keep in mind when approached by young'ins half their age and one third their body weight.... |
Oops, I think you mean Y chromosome. Females have two X chromsones, I believe! 
Have you (OP) said anything to him (even kiddingly) about these girls and your disapproval? I think breakdowns in communication are (perhaps after money) the biggest threat to marriage. Try to let him know you'd like a little reassurance, and your ego needs a little boost, too(from him specifically!) It should be OK to let yourself appear a little vulnerable.
This question might be too personal for the board, but you have to decide if you Are just worried about infidelity or him leaving you all together. Men are more likely to keep the two issues separate in their own minds, although you may feel they're very much connected. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
guangho
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 476
Location: in transit
|
| Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:10 am Post subject: Re: ? love and marraige |
|
|
| Cdaniels wrote: |
| guangho wrote: |
| Something fellow carriers of the X chromosome should keep in mind when approached by young'ins half their age and one third their body weight.... |
Oops, I think you mean Y chromosome. Females have two X chromsones, I believe!
Have you (OP) said anything to him (even kiddingly) about these girls and your disapproval? I think breakdowns in communication are (perhaps after money) the biggest threat to marriage. Try to let him know you'd like a little reassurance, and your ego needs a little boost, too(from him specifically!) It should be OK to let yourself appear a little vulnerable.
This question might be too personal for the board, but you have to decide if you Are just worried about infidelity or him leaving you all together. Men are more likely to keep the two issues separate in their own minds, although you may feel they're very much connected. |
Indeed. Y, oh Y did I not see that? Now you can see why I barely passed "Introduction to genetics" class in college. But my point still stands. I know I'm a stud but not THAT much of one  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Yu
Joined: 06 Mar 2003
Posts: 1219
Location: Shanghai
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 2:22 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Had an interesting conversation with a friend a few weeks ago. He pointed out that men seperate sex and marriage.
They can have sex with many women, but in the end they just want to be married to the same one.
Shanghai Baby also touches on the same point.... you can have sex with many people, but you only want to share sleep with one person.
Keep looking for those hot asian guys. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
khmerhit
Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit
|
| Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:46 am Post subject: |
|
|
Interesting to see that the man is already presumed to be guilty. As pointed out above--by me--it is possible he has done nothing wrong. Not likely, perhaps, but possible. And even if he has, is it worth ending the marriage over? Judge not a man till ye walk in his shoes!! And hassling him will only drive him away. Take it from the humble voice of bitter  experience..... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
uberinflight
Joined: 08 Mar 2006
Posts: 15
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 3:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Yu wrote: |
Had an interesting conversation with a friend a few weeks ago. He pointed out that men seperate sex and marriage.
They can have sex with many women, but in the end they just want to be married to the same one.
|
So us men want a "mother figure" to change our diapers and wipe our noses. Then find nubile young woman for conquest?
I'm in  
Just kidding. I always have to pick on broad stereotypes. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
uberinflight
Joined: 08 Mar 2006
Posts: 15
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 6:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I wanted to add a serious reply to the actual topic.
No one can really help you outside of helping you to clarify the reality of the situation.
Every choice is a valuation. That includes who you wish to spend your time in life with and the underlying motivation for that choice.
Even though people sign contracts for marriage, it is easy to end that arrangement (usually after lots of painful games and lawyers who capitalize on the misery).
Some people will say that flirtation is a sign of a healthy person. Others do not.
So you are in a market which a western man is an extra value (wealth...maybe curiosity...or maybe these women like him).
That is life. It is an open market; not just for products and services, but people as well.
I don not pretend that this is advice ... just an objective look at the situation.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
