Job Discussion Forums

[TK4Lakers]

Hello all,

First off thank you to everyone who's helped answer any questions I've posted in the last few months.

This is a general thread, but I would like anyone to please answer and share your thoughts/comments with me.


I will be leaving to teach in the middle schools/elementary schools in the small town of Hasaki in Ibaraki prefecture.
-Anyone been there? Can anyone share their experience/knowledge about this place?

Another curious question: I am Japanese-American, 2nd generation, and have a Japanese first+last name (and obviously, I look it too). How will the students, both the young and old ones, respond to this? Because of my bilingual ability, will this help me in the workplace in Japan, or hurt me as an ALT?

One more question: I have been with my gf here in the states for over one year now. Yes, not a long time, but we are very committed to each other, and we are planning on staying together once I leave. The future is up in the air since we are still young and there's so much out there, but we plan on being honest and upfront with each other and to make the time and effort. Have YOU or anyone you know ever had a long-distance relationship and had it work out? I'm talking about overseas, 1-2 years, etc. Any advice or thoughts for the both of us on trying to make this workout? Please be honest.

Thanks for reading this far, and thank you to everyone for the help and support so far. I leave March 15th, can't wait!

[MrCAPiTUL]

Honestly? I don't see a long distance relationship working if you intend to be gone that long. A year might be doable, but more than that and you are pushing it. It is very difficult to maintain satisfactory levels of happiness while in a long distance relationship. It is possible, too, that the other party may end up resenting your decision to move. What makes it even more difficult in this situation, is that Japan is, quite literally, half way around the world from the States. Unless she comes and stays with your for a few months over the summer, I honestly do not see it working out. But, most importantly I suppose, it really depends on the two individuals. If you both know that you want to make it work, you will find a way to make it work. I guess what you really need to do is ask eachother - are you the one?

[Glenski]

This is not a guaranteed fix for your potential problems with your relationship, but I can suggest 3 things.

1. Maintain a constant line of communication. No blogs for her to read. Direct email or letters or phone calls.

2. To save money on phone calls and to show your faces (that personal touch which says it all instead of an impersonal letter), use something like Skype with a web cam.

3. Have her come over at least once a year. Sounds like you may be getting a job on the JET program (?), which would mean plenty of free time.

[abufletcher]

First, I think your being second-generation Japanese-American will offer you some excellent opportunities to dispell some stereo-types, e.g. all "gaijin" have blue eyes. And for that matter the whole question of who'se a "gaijin."

As far as long distance relationships, all you can do is take a "we'll try" attitude. If you two can deal with the separation it may show you've got something deeper.

[Sweetsee]

You plan on being apart for longer than you have been together. You are young and the chances of your relationship surviving are slim. But remember that loving something is setting it free and if it returns it was meant to be. Just my thoughts and one more, don't get into long-distance phone calls, as tempting as it may be. Decide from the beginning to call perhaps once a month. You both will have new lives and each should live them to the fullest rather than longing for eachother.

From L.A.?


Good luck to you,
s

[PAULH]

I was in a loing distance relationship for 2 years when my Japanese girlfriend decided to up and take off to Australia to work for a Japanese company.


Every relationship and couple is different and im not going to say things will be the same as i dont know you. Im sure you care about your lady, but at the same time you are not married, she is not your wife and you dont own each other.

You are young still. If you are serious about a relationship it will mean being celibate and faithful for a year or two. Its not easy but can be done.

When my gf went I didnt have email or a computer, just phone calls. I made a trip to Australia and she came back to japan several times. I simply kept myself busy with work and would phone regularly, sometimes 3 times a day. Phone bills for me came to 20,000 a month.


You have been given good advice. when you get here get set up with email, Skype or hook a video camera to your PC.

I dated once or twice while she was away but it never amounted to much- I think trust is important, but you also have to realise it is a forced separation and it will be hard to live like a hermit for 2 years. We are only human.

FWIW I married my girlfriend and we are still married but a 2 year separation is not something i would ever repeat again. Probably better to cut her free, give her some space while you are away and pick up where you left off when you come back home. It has to be a mutual decision though. Just my opinion.

[TK4Lakers]

Thank you to everyone who responded with the advice and honesty. I greatly appreciate it.

[Angelfish]

Hi. I'm in kinda the same situation as you with regards to leaving behind a loved one. I've been with my bloke for 3 years, we live together, so the decision to leave for Japan for 1-1.5 years was hard, but we both agreed that it was something I had to do, rather than stay and potentially become bitter about the fact I had not followed my ambitions. He's really settled in his job, so him coming with me was not an option.

We're staying together and one of the things we plan on doing is writing proper letters to each other, none of this email malarky And of course telephone calls, and hopefully he can come out to visit at some point.

I should be leaving sometime in May, still waiting to find out where I'll be headed.

Good luck. Hope it works out for you.

[Alexismom]

This seems to be the destination of choice for my daughter...any AEON people out there? I'd love to here about the apartments and cell phone situation. Also since she's from southern California the summer won't be a problem but just how cold does it get??? And what am I allowed to mail to Japan in terms of eats?

[Doglover]

[Zzonkmiles]

Download Yahoo Messenger or MSN Messenger. Then get a broadband internet connection and a microphone. If you do that, you can "call" your girlfriend from Yahoo Messenger for free. You will need to keep in touch regularly.

However, I personally don't recommend doing the long-distance relationship thing. It doesn't work. You won't have any new memories to experience together, you'll meet new people, she'll meet new people, trust issues will arise, and you'll both move on. I too was faced with the prospect of staying with my long-term girlfriend or breaking up when I came to Japan. I chose the painful breakup, but in retrospect that was the right decision.

If you can definitively say you will be in Japan for X-months or a year at the most, maybe you can survive. But being in a long-distance relationship of an indefinite nature (no clear ending in sight), then you might as well just end things now. How old are you anyway? If you're in your mid-20s, I'm sure you have a lot of dates ahead of you.

As for being a Japanese-American, I think you'll have no problems here. Some people might come up to you asking for directions. If anything, they might be surprised if you don't know some of the popular slang or elements of popular culture, but I don't think your English ability will be a problem for you. Heck, I'm sure they'll be quite envious. Yeah, some Japanese go ga-ga over "white gaijin" and may be disappointed when you walk into the classroom, but you shouldn't worry about them. Your reputation and popularity are far more contingent on your personality, your professionalism, your interest in the local culture, and the quality of your teaching, rather than the color of your skin.

[Doglover]

[Brooks]

Doglover, 38 C is about 100 F.
Kyoto can get pretty hot in the summer, and there is the humidity as well.

[shuize]

[justuspost]