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What's the deal with Chinese colleagues and not speaking?
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SimonM



Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 1835
Location: Toronto, Ontario

PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 8:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

KarenB wrote:

On the other hand, I can't recall a Chinese person ever telling me that he or she was too busy to help me with something. In fact, I've even had them stop whatever they were doing to help me, even when I didn't ask.


I've sometimes found it a case of "help strikes again" rather than an absence of help. For instance one time I went shopping with a friend. Now normally I shop on my own and people who are just getting to know me often are shocked to learn that I don't need assistance to do this basic task. Anyways this friend insisted on helping and insisted on directing the taxi driver. We ended up taking a longer route than if we I had given the directions.
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zaneth



Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 545
Location: Between Russia and Germany

PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This will sound a bit cold, but beware of getting too chummy with the first friendly person among them. Might be good to hang back for a while and use the opportunity to observe. The one friendly person can be another outcast. You might find yourself on the wrong side of some political thing or another that you'll regret once you're more involved in the group.

Ahhh, politics. It's a shame that so much of our work as teachers is so solitary. Spend all our time talking but end the day feeling lonely for some conversation. Have colleagues but we don't actually work WITH them.

Even with my fellow expat friends we don't do anything teaching related. I wonder if it's the same in other fields. I imagine that archaeologists and historians have long interesting discussions with each other, but maybe I'm wrong.

Some day it would be nice to have real colleagues, people to share ideas with, do creative work with.
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woza17



Joined: 25 May 2003
Posts: 602
Location: china

PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Really interesting thread I think all of the posters had something to offer.
Experiences are so varied. My first job here in China, in a small city in Hubei, the only foreigner. I asked if I could have a desk in the staff room so I can be part of it. I loved the staff room. I bought a darts board and we would play darts, sing, have a great time, go out once a week for dinner. Had some very intimate conversations with other staff.
Things vary. I haven't really experienced the warmth that I got from that school in other places not that it's cold but I really felt a sense of belonging there.
I went back about a year later for the schools 75th party and it was the same feeling. I will definitely go back again before the year is out.
OP I would hate your situation
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Roger



Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 9138

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will make the contention that CHinese open up to non-Chinese far more than to their compatriots, and this for historic reasons.

Chinese are excessively clannish, associating as migrants first with their fellow villagers, then fellow-provincials. There is a high level of distrust between Chinese from different locales. Schools until recently recruited mainly from their surrounding areas, and it is still common to see Cantonese teachers dominating some schools in Guangdong while Hunanese would dominate another school in the same area provided their headmaster also hails from Hunan.

But as a total outsider, some will go out of their reserved manners and ways and broach topics you wouldn't want to broach on your own. Others might really be cold fish that ignore you and even make you feel unwelcome - because they feel outsiders are rocking the boat, foreigners in particular.
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Roger



Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 9138

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will make the contention that CHinese open up to non-Chinese far more than to their compatriots, and this for historic reasons.

Chinese are excessively clannish, associating as migrants first with their fellow villagers, then fellow-provincials. There is a high level of distrust between Chinese from different locales. Schools until recently recruited mainly from their surrounding areas, and it is still common to see Cantonese teachers dominating some schools in Guangdong while Hunanese would dominate another school in the same area provided their headmaster also hails from Hunan.

But as a total outsider, some will go out of their reserved manners and ways and broach topics you wouldn't want to broach on your own. Others might really be cold fish that ignore you and even make you feel unwelcome - because they feel outsiders are rocking the boat, foreigners in particular.
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jg



Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Posts: 1263
Location: Ralph Lauren Pueblo

PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like this thread.

Quote:
This will sound a bit cold, but beware of getting too chummy with the first friendly person among them. Might be good to hang back for a while and use the opportunity to observe. The one friendly person can be another outcast. You might find yourself on the wrong side of some political thing or another that you'll regret once you're more involved in the group.


That holds true, but so does Rogers contention that Chinese will open up more to foreigners than to each other... there is an intersection between the two points made of course, and that is that the people who don't talk to you may be doing you a favor. Imagine if they are so xenophobic that even common courtesies are beyond them, then just maintain basic pleasantries, nothing else. It depends on if you are around more mature and travelled people. And I've had coworkers tell me they couldn't talk to me because other Chinese would mock them, call them names.

I worked in a non-ESL job for a British company in Shanghai for several months last year, and it was the same - I was one of only 3 non-Chinese out of dozens of people. They would all troop out to lunch together, making plans out loud around my cubicle but not include me, and it stung a bit. However, an overseas Chinese woman and the older employees did sometimes make an effort to talk to me, the silly standoffish ones were the 20's bunch. Its nothing to do with police. Yeah, I have had really good experiences with staff at places I worked, but even there, often times girls would be catty about the other girls who talked to foreigners, and the typical BS of office politics was heightened due to the xenophobia. The worst offices I have worked at have been the places were people were friendly and cordial to each others face and then cut people behind their backs, and that was in the states.
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vikdk



Joined: 25 Jun 2003
Posts: 1676

PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 4:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

spies Laughing Laughing Laughing spying on FT's because they might be a security risk - or that the security services might glean some top-secret info from us Laughing Laughing Laughing
Yunqi your grasp of what goes on here seems up to par with your computer skills Laughing Laughing Laughing
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vikdk



Joined: 25 Jun 2003
Posts: 1676

PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 11:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey yunqi - quick duck they're coming Cool Cool Cool
No it's not the police - those guys have white coats Laughing
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vikdk



Joined: 25 Jun 2003
Posts: 1676

PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

maybe they'll help ya hook that laptop up - you want me to send you some DVD's along a file in that next cake Laughing Laughing Laughing
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grwit



Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 329
Location: Dagobah

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess I am lucky! Listenbing to your stories it sounds like most of you have bad coworkers. Many of the chinese teachers at my university are friendly to me. I'm not sure if my outgoing personality has anything to do with it. It seems that most of the young staff are the most friendly.

Sure I get the odd staff member who only speaks to me if they need some advise on english grammer or whatever. But this holiday I have been invited to 2 teachers weddings and many of the teachers I work with are more than happy to have a conversation with me.

As for spies - I believe it is tre to some extent. The telephone makes strange noises while I am talking. I'm not sure if it is true but clicking sounds on the telephone can mean that someone is tapping the line. Also the dean from last year would bring up topics that me and the other FT would discuss in our appartments. It seemed strange that he would discuss the same topic the day after we had been discussing the night before in private. Now I make a habit of not talking about work related issues at home. I wait to go to lunch and have the privacy of a resturant to discuss such matters with the new FT.
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Yu



Joined: 06 Mar 2003
Posts: 1219
Location: Shanghai

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess I only thought about posting on this one....

Today I made some effort to talk with my collegues. I was in the office and there were people in there I see sometimes. I heard them talking in Chinese about buying something related to transportation.... so after they left I asked what they were talking about. They replied buying cars, and then continued in speaking Chinese. I tried again... asking if they had a car. "NO" back to speaking Chinese. I was making some effort to make come conversation with some fellow English teachers and I was just snubbed.

There are some in the office that do talk to me. One of the english teachers (chinese) is a really good friend of mine. But just one. A few others are friendly with me and would say hello to me, but most dont even know who I am.

There is also one person from the foreign affairs office I am friends with. We have lunch weekly and send some messages during the week.

So I guess I am happy to say I have 2 chinese friends... one girl and one guy. It is nice to get their perspectives on things, but I do wish I had a few more friends who were collegues. I also have my hubsband and his sister... but they have to like me.

For the most part though, the collegues dont talk to me. Even the department secretary talks to me more than my collegues do, and the only English I usually hear her say is "Do you want coffee today?" and then the rest of our conversation is in Chinese. But she is always helpful to me. The other collegues, I guess I dont know how to make friends with them.
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spoony



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 29
Location: Inner Mongolia

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Isn�t it remarkable that in the second largest and most populous country in the world foreign teacher�s experiences of co-workers is so varied? As the replies testify, many were lucky, some blessed, other not so.

I�ve had many jobs here, most good, a few remarkable, some middling, others poor. My relationship with the staff followed a similar trend.

Given the breath and divergence of experiences here in China you need to ask yourself some questions.

How important is the workplace relationship? Will it permanently colour my impression of China? Would I be happier in another job, city or country?

Have I seen the Great Wall, Starbucks etc?

Do I want friendship with all the incumbent responsibilities, or Western pleasantries delivered from a distance.

If it�s the latter go to MacDonald�s, you can get a free refill.
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