Job Discussion Forums

[sidjameson]

I am sure that many people have walked down the same path. Arrived here, worked in a language school. Business English. Get a break at a high school. Maybe a part time university post comes up and then you hit the jackpot. The full time gig. You're not only on the gravy train of Japan. You are actually driving the engine.

Well as good as it sounds I have noticed one thing. The further up the slippery pole I got the less social my working life became. I really do look back with fondness at my days in the eikaiwa. All those new friends and the turnover was such that barely a month or two passed before some new face was walking thru the door.
As I moved on though I noticed that as my old friends and colleagues left Japan they weren't being replaced. Truth be told that work wise for the last 4 years here I have done little more than go to a school or university, enter the classroom, teach and go home again. There wasn't even a staff room for me to go to, let alone other teachers in it.
Ok, being honest, I realise that I am talking about foreign teachers. There have been a few Japanese staff. It pains me to say it, but I can't say I have ever clicked with a native member of the teaching profesion. Maybe it's just where I have worked, but they have always been so straight laced and usually much older than me.
Just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience. Did you do anything about it?

[canuck]

Think about learning Japanese.

[PAULH]

[Zzonkmiles]

I don't know if the OP can speak Japanese or not, but being able to speak Japanese has opened up lots of doors for me with my Japanese coworkers. I've already attended one of my Japanese coworker's wedding parties and have gone out to dinner with them on several other occasions. In fact, we've got an izakaya tabehodai quadruple date tomorrow night. None of them speak English, and if they do, it's at a very basic level. In all of these instances, they include me as a part of their "circle" that the majority of my other Japanese coworkers aren't even a part of. It feels good.

I'm finding that I have achieved a near 50-50 balance in terms of hanging out with other Westerners vs. Japanese coworker friends. To be honest, the fact that most of my Western friends can't really speak Japanese has something to do with it because it really restricts the people we can hang out with together and the places we can go where they'll still feel comfortable. And for me, having to be the designated translator and interpreter all the time is a drag.

Another thing I recommend is to be proactive. In some cases, your Japanese coworkers may be willing to talk to you, just not willing to make the first step. You can reap some huge benefits if you try. I'm finding my social life now to be even more enriching and fun now than when I was a cog in the eikaiwa wheel hitting the bar with my fellow English teaching coworkers night after night after work.

[Like a Rolling Stone]

I tried to learn shogi. Lots of Japanese people get very impresed if you can play it. If you're coworkers are older then they might like that too. I sometimes play with kids but they usually beat me There is a move in shogi a bit like fool's mate, I must be a bit of a fool.

[luckyloser700]

[abufletcher]

One of the, for me, bizarre facts that I had to accept about my tenured position was that I was never -- no not EVER -- going to be seeing another foreigner hired into the department. Not as long as I work here. In these tough economic times, if anyone quits (Japanese or foreigner) no one will be hired to replace them. Initially, I found this enormously depressing. Now I've come to live with it.

In the Gulf, because the language centers can be really huge, and because you can expect at least a 5% turnover each year (some are short-timers who can't hack it, others are long-timers finally moving on) there are always bound to be at least 5-10 new faces every year. If you don't find a "expat bud" to hang with, no problem, one will be along soon.

Well, I've been here for 10 years and other than a string of transcient gaikokugo-kyoshi ever two years (some of whom I've clicked with and others...well there are some really strange gaijin out there) there have been no changes to the department faculty.

As far as hanging out with members of my department, to be honest, I can't even imagine such a thing in most cases. This is most definitely NOT just a language issue. At 49 I'm the second youngest faculty member in the department and most are approaching 60.

Also, I'm just not much for "hanging out." I enjoy DOING things with other people, but just sitting around somewhere talking about nothing isn't really my bag. I'd really be interested to know what people actually DO with Japanese friends. As a non-drinker, non-smoker, I'm really not into the izakaya or bar scene AT ALL. Karaoke? FUGGEDABOUTIT!

[kdynamic]

[Jazz1975]

[Henry_Cowell]

One unusual thing to learn in Japan is traditional Japanese music. I've had lessons on both shakuhachi (flute) and ko tuzumi (Noh/Kabuki shoulder drum). In traditional music instruction, there can be relatively little verbal instruction, so your level of Japanese-language skills need not be too much of a hindrance. Most teaching is done in a rote learning style: the teacher demonstrates and plays, you imitate -- over and over and over and over.

You can get into some very cool circles of people in Japan if you're learning traditional music. You'll get invitations to events, performances, and other gatherings that most gaijin don't know about. And, yes, Japanese musicians (like musicians around the word) love to drink.

[shuize]

This topic comes up fairly often. Here's another recent thread, "I don' 'click' in Japan"

http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/job/viewtopic.php?t=31489&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Quoting some of what I wrote there:

[abufletcher]

[abufletcher]

[dbooster]

[kdynamic]

Abu, I have got to agree with dbooster here. Let me give you an example. The IT guy at my work is a very nice guy, about 35 years old. We have chatted causally on several occasions and he's always very good about dealing with any computer issues I have. It's not like we only talk about work either. We chat about the weather, current events, a little office gossip, that sort of thing. Today I was shopping in a downtown area in the larger city near my town and I spotted down the street holding hands with his girlfriend (who I don't know). I waved. He kind of gave a little wave back and then crossed the street so as not to actually have to greet me. Does he hate me? Is his girlfriend a secret? NO. The reality is that I am squarly in the work part of his life, and shopping on a saturday with his girlfriend is squarly in the personal part. Most Japanese people are extremely careful about keeping these two parts seperate. And you know what? I understand that and I am not upset at him for avoiding me, even though it would be considered very rude in my culture back home. Point of the story: the only time the work and personal spheres intersect, even a little is when we are drinking together. Neither he nor I are big drinkers. In fact, we are known as the two weakest drinkers in the office. But it is about the context of drinking. Because we have been out drinking together is the only reason I even knew he had a girlfriend. And if I were to bring up the fact that i saw him on the street, the only time it would NOT make him very uncomfortable is to bring it up next time we are, you guessed it, drinking. You might not understand or agree with this, but it's part of Japanese culture. In fact, I was surprised by your comments above, Abu, considering how long you've been in Japan. If you don't play ball, you can't expect to connect with people here.