Job Discussion Forums

[donfan]

I have just returned home(Australia) after a few years overseas teaching ESL. I have severe reverse culture shock to the point where I'm feeling depressed and feeling like packing up again and heading back overseas. I find Australian life so mundane and boring and everybody is in the pursuit of the almighty dollar at the expense of anything else in life. Has anybody else been through this experience and how did you cope? As far as I'm concerned I have three options.

A. Get over it. Settle down here and look at my life overseas as history.
B. Run. Get on the next plane back overseas.
C. Abide my time. Stick it out here for a while but if it doesn't get any better go back overseas.

C sounds like the most obvious one. However there are certain problems with this one. I'll have to find a house, car, computer, job etc which may make it harder to go back overseas further down the track. All advice welcome.

[richard ame]

Hi Don

Difficult one this mate ,first you should have had a good enough reason to come back home ,did you really miss the place ? Family are they there ? Do they offer support in adjusting back have you got a roof over your head what about your love life give me a good reason why you went back and maybe I can point you in some direction ,have you weighed up the pros and cons I would dearly love to visit Oz but live ? I don't know even though I have family out there it would be a hard choice for me not least because of my age how old are you mate ? Try and sell me the place if you can't then go otherwise hang on . Thats as much as I can say for now give me some feed back I will try to be objective its something I have thought about ,going back ,but to what ??? why did you go back maybe it was a mistake .

[Roger]

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to your problem; we all go through such experiences, but in each case the ingredients vary.
We do not know what drove you out of Oz in the first place; did you expect to find a "different" Australia? Likewise, how did you feel in your temporary home country?

If I had to say whether I would feel at home in my old country, my answer would be quite hard: No! Not because I hate it, or the natives there hate me.
Rather, it's because I have moved on in life, under a different sun, in a different habitat, with different people. It has had a conditioning effect.
I am still interested in what's going on over there, yet I am much more tuned in to what's happening here!
Friends everywhere. Family - where you choose to establish one.
Family is home.

[biffinbridge]

I find that drinking myself into a coma and then making and acting upon completely ridiculous decisions is the best way to resolve tricky questions.You could just flip a coin and leave it to Allah's predetermined fate though.....hope that helps.

[donfan]

Thanks for your replies everybody.

[donfan]

[richard ame]

Hi Donfan

I have a friend from Oz, Melbourne to be exact she met and married a Turk and was here for 8 years ,anyway she got worried about the kids education and things were not that great with her other half so she went back 2 years ago . This year after a brief reconcilation with her bloke kid number 2 comes along,now shes back in Turkey feeling torn between two cultures with her kids future as her main priority,I know this is not your situation but there is a parrallel or common dilemma here. She feels that there is no future for her family (including hubby) in Turkey so its back to Oz where there is a greater level of support and even job prospects but the man in the story has other ideas which are not clear yet. I've promised myself to sit down with him and clarify his predicament over a few beers .Maybe you could try the same but with someone who can be objective and forthcoming ,what I'm trying to say is that you are the man on the spot so to speak you need to evaluate your plans and decide where you want to be in 10 years time settled down with a family in Oz or footloose and fancy free in South East Asia or where ever you want to be. 35 is still pretty young but in your culture maybe your over the hill with all the younger wannabees snapping at your heels ,do you want that? I say while you can get out and and live a little,you can come back home anytime now is not the right time if you feel this way .

[donfan]

Thanks Richard,

You confirmed the way that I have been thinking. I'm from Melbourne too BTW. I'm not too sure what I'm worried about my career for anyway. The teacher shortage in Australia is becoming an epidemic and I don't think I'll ever be without work, even if it's casual work. I guess I just didn't want to come back in ten years time and feel like I was a stranger in my own country and not be able to settle down. Oh well it looks like it's got to that stage already anyway. I'll consider it some more but it looks like I'll be heading overseas again soon. Thanks for your advice.

[Cleopatra]

One thing to ask yourself is: Am I looking at my past life through rose tinted glasses? Once you're away from the everyday frustrations and mundanities of life in any country, it's easy to look back and say - Oh, I was much happier then!
But if you were, why did you leave? I understand your reasons, but if, after a few months you still feel that you're not going to settle down just because you feel that is what is expected of you, by all means think about moving on.
BUT remember "You can't step into the same river twice". Sometimes things are better left alone - it can happen that what was great first time around is not nearly so fantastic on a return journey. Not always, of course, but often. You might want to think about an alternative destination - or maybe not. As the above post says, there's no sure answer to your problem - you have to decide for yourself as best you can. Not a very satisfactory answer, of course, but what can you do?