Job Discussion Forums

katie19 · Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 4 Location: boulder, co

Hi everyone...I just read a post that said it is illegal for an unmarried man and woman, including foreigners, to live together in Vietnam. Is this a law that is seriously enforced and could you get around it by staying in guest houses all the time as opposed to having an apartment, or will they not let you do that either? Thanks for your help!

nkminh · Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 27 Location: HCM City

I heard that today too and they can't be serious! I think it's just another attempt for some people extort money from those mini hotels and guesthouses.
Enforce it ??? Not a chance in the world

teflersanonymous · Joined: 06 Apr 2005 Posts: 9

Hope people will be careful about taking "advice". As far as I know, foreigners were always safe but your asian girlfriend can be treated as a prostitute if she is "bust" at your house or with you at hers. may not happen but it can...in several countries around here... so please be careful about giving / accepting local wisdom.

Porlestone · Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 95 Location: Asia

my guess is that guesthouses are worse. at least if you have a real apartment your chances of getting the midnight visit raid from police is much less and you could claim ignorance if they did. in a guesthouse you are under constant watch and NEVER make it anywhere without always being seen, entry and exit.

I personally have NEVER had anyone stay over at my place. too much potential for trouble. if not in direct violation of some law, or "ordinance", or "decree", or "statute," or "regulation", or you get the point, it might just lead to landlords jokingly using it as a way of getting extra pay out of you. in a serious way.

in any case I would predict that foreign white man and foreign white women sleeping together would be just be "oh, ok" by the authorities. White male and Asian female, regardless of her nationality, could possibly lead to a world of potential for on the spot decisions by authorities, but I think as long as she's not Vietnamese nor Viet Kieu then they would have to let it go, even after much potential chastisement.

gibberish · Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 10

There shouldn't be any problem living together. I stayed with a Thai girlfriend for 1 year in District 1 with no problems. Another couple in the house were American and Phillipino, and another Amercian man had his Korean girlfriend over for several months at a time. (Yes, I see the irony).

In actual fact, the American and Phillipino were thrown out of the house after an argument that raged on until 6am (neighbours complained to police). Angry that we were not thrown out as well, they reported me as a drug dealer and the other American man as a paedophile. We were unaware of this until just before Tet, the police arrived to search the house. They asked who was living there and for how long, and a Canadian unmarried couple had been there for a couple of months by that time. Long story short; I told the police to go ahead and search. They told me it wasn't necessary, but they had to clear the books before Tet.

They didn't seem worried that unmarried couples were living together. They also informed me that the a-holes who started all this were well known to police and would be removed from the counrty if they caused any more problems. I let the matter rest, but the other man staying with me didn't take it so lightly - he arranged a job in the Phillipines with the sole purpose of tracking down the American man's five houses and burning them down.

teflersanonymous · Joined: 06 Apr 2005 Posts: 9

dear mr gibberish

that's the sort of juicy news that makes it worth 6000 or 10000 rupiah[6000 closed on sunday but strangely has better connection than the 10000] to get on the net. i had horror experiences with an englishman and - differently - with an irish lady - in north vietnam and a nightmare with a mormon [nationality taken as read] in indonesian borneo. i guess a lot of us are in this part of the world because we lack something back home .. i hope the people who think they are so cool just because they live in a foreign country realise this one day]

where is the tefl site that allows us to expose the "unfit to live/work with westerners? it's all very well having 200 postings about EF, I guess we know that one by now but i would like to be warned about westerners who cheat on their bills and worse...... have to go - lovely [mature - not bargirl] vietnamese lady on the other end of "chat"

gibberish · Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 10

I think this place has a lot to do with it. I worked in Thailand for a couple of years. People were more chilled and friendlier. Another intriguing fact; in Thailand I saw the odd junkie and alcoholic teacher - here there seem to be alcoholics everywhere and more junkies.

Initially, I was trying to demonstrate the most serious situation where the police had been involved and weren't interested in the fact couples were living together (also getting it off my chest). So you needn't worry if you want to live together.

Thinking more and more about the problems others mentioned, and that there should possibly be a thread, I would have to say I have had more problems with foreigners here than I did in Thailand.

gibberish · Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 10

Important point I forgot to mention!

The entire time you are here, whether in a guesthouse or house, a copy of your passport is given to the local police. The owner has to register you and whoever is living with you, so the police will be aware of your living arrangements the entire time. There is pretty much a hands off the foreigners approach by the authorities. The only problem may be if you are a foreign male and want to bring a Vietnamese girl to stay with you.

NTY · Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 1

It is illegal to live with a woman if you are not legally married. Police rarely enforce this law but you should be aware that anytime they wish you could be arrested and it will cost you alot of money to get out of the problem. The alternative is to live in a house owned by a gov't. official's family and then the woman is legally registered to live in the house.

VC · Joined: 11 Feb 2003 Posts: 35

It is illegal for an unmarried man and woman to live together. If you live in Vietnam then most likely your landlord pays monthly bribes to the police which come out of your rent money. My landlord told me this and he told me that as long as the police keep receiving their money every month, they generally don't really care who you are living with and whether it violates the law or not. The one exception may be if a foreigner lives with an unmarried Vietnamese person of the opposite sex. But I don't think an unmarried foreign couple living together would be a problem.

This is how things often work in Vietnam. Money talks louder than the law. I recently read about a pagoda that was closed because the owners refused to pay bribes to the police. The police made false accusations against the owners. Most likely, when you get a business visa for the first time in Vietnam you'll have to pay a bribe of about $50 to a government official. You may not know about this, but the person who arranges your visa will. The person who arranged my visa said that this bribe only had to be paid the first time. A Vietnamese friend told me that the police can eat at a restaurant free anytime they want although there is no law requiring this. I also heard that in order to get a work permit you have to pay a bribe. It's the cost of doing business here and people that cooperate will find that things go more smoothly.

Snaff · Joined: 20 Feb 2005 Posts: 142

johnyarrington · Joined: 16 Feb 2003 Posts: 66 Location: Saudi Arabia

Dear VC,
"Most likely, when you get a business visa for the first time in Vietnam you'll have to pay a bribe of about $50 to a government official. You may not know about this, but the person who arranges your visa will."

In my experience, this is not true. I have received several business visas, at the....."normal" rate (I forget what this was....it was the price that was published on the bulletin board at the Vietnamese Embassy in Bangkok), and have always paid the same for this type of visa.

Vis-a-vis this thread: "Legal" and "illegal" is an interesting concept. I'm not even sure it belongs in a discussion of....."the way things are done in Vietnam", anyway, according to my experience there.

I think it's much more fruitful, and enlightening to look at things this way: "What is the way things are usually done here? What's it gonna take for me to do things this way?"

Personal experience: Living with, or even trying to bring a Vietnamese girl into your room, after around 9 P.M. = BAD IDEA! Untold problems for her, if she's from any kind of decent family, and just a pain in the b * t t for you.

I've many other experiences, but just one more: Arriving in Vietnam at 9 P.M. on the evening of Tet, without a visa but expecting one on arrival, but not having the authorization STAMPED by the proper authorities.......stay in the government hotel they "escort" you to, pay $45 for a room that's worth $30 (BIG DEAL!), accept the hospitality of the hotel for a party at midnight, and see your way clear to......."offer a gift of appreciation" to the Immigration official who finally got done, the next day, your visa. You need to promise you'll look him up (he ain't easy to find, but you can, with resourcefulness), actually bring him a gift, look him in the eye and say Thank You, and don't make a big deal of it = GOOD IDEA.

Just my experience