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DirtGuy
Joined: 28 Dec 2004
Posts: 529
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 Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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I am having a little bit of trouble understanding why Western women would not be getting all the "action" they could ever handle in TW. This could be due to me being of the male persuasion but let me relay a little of what Taiwanese guys have told me. Having had far too many beers with Taiwanese guys at various times and in various situations, I have been privy to some of their "fantasies." More than a few guys have expressed their desire to go out with a Western woman. They are absolutely fascinated/fixated on light colored skin, blond hair, and big b_____sts! If you haven't figured it out by now, Chinese consider light colored skin one of the pinnacles of physical beauty. The lighter the better. Anyone with dark skin is considered to be a low-class type who actually has to work outdoors for a living. Heaven forbid! Western women have an abundance of such skin so many Taiwanese guys consider them very beautiful.
So why aren't they coming on to you? No expert on this but that certainly won't stop me from rendering an opinion. Part of it is shyness and the general fear amongst most men of approaching really beautiful women. I'm sure there is a bit of the fear of being laughed at because they think their English is not good enough. I think a really big reason is Asian guys in general (Stop reading now if you are too PC for generalities/stereotyping.) like their women to be quiet and submissive and these are two adjectives that are not usually applied to Western women. There have been articles in the paper about too many Taiwanese guys going outside the country to places like the mainland and Viet Nam to get wives because they considered Taiwanese women too "forward". Now if Taiwanese women are too forward for Taiwanese men, think about how Western women must appear.
It's all kind of sad in a way when you think about it. The whole world would probably be a better place were there more inter-racial/ethnic dating and marriage. We'd probably find a lot more common ground than we ever thought existed.
DirtGuy |
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Serious_Fun
Joined: 28 Jun 2005
Posts: 1171
Location: terra incognita
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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| DirtGuy wrote: |
| Western women have an abundance of such skin... |
I liked that phrase  |
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DirtGuy
Joined: 28 Dec 2004
Posts: 529
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| Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 1:18 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Serious_Fun for pointing out that phrase. I just realized it could be interpreted in a number of different ways. Truly I meant nothing more than Western women have white skin but as I have already put my foot in my mouth once, I think I'll just shut up for now.
DirtGuy |
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shahrezade1001
Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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all of this is very interesting! all i felt when i was in taiwan was that guys weren't interested in me, i never got the complexities of attraction/ repulsion. though if they think that taiwanese women are too forward then i am quite sure i could never pass muster. i think that taiwanese in general found me too loud, expressive, etc.
about being attracted to taiwanese guys, i did hear many western women say that they generally weren't. however, most of them did find a few here and there that they liked. of course a smaller pool of people you are attracted to means a smaller number of chances for someone who likes you, who speaks good enough english, or who you get along with personality-wise. |
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kuberkat
Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 358
Location: Oman
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| Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 6:00 am Post subject: |
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DirtGuy wrote:
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| So why aren't they coming on to you? |
... er, from my previous posts you will notice this was not the issue with Taiwanese- the issue was that I experienced no frisson that made them worth following up. They just don't seem to jangle the Darwinian bells for most foreign females, if I dare generalize. But then, hey, neither do men from my own country. Give me a rugged young Turk any day, though...
Had a good laugh at the idea of Taiwanese women being too forward. I think their power is more subtle. A male friend in Taiwan recently told me how his new (TW) gf was "the least manipulative woman" he had ever met. He then proceeded to tell me how she had confided in him that he was her first love. She is a forty-year old divorcee. Ladies and gentleman, the words of a man who is not being manipulated.
What I would like to know is if our OP has decided for or against Taiwan, in the light of all these findings... |
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twinkletoes
Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 76
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| Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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| DirtGuy wrote: |
I am having a little bit of trouble understanding why Western women would not be getting all the "action" they could ever handle in TW. This could be due to me being of the male persuasion but let me relay a little of what Taiwanese guys have told me. Having had far too many beers with Taiwanese guys at various times and in various situations, I have been privy to some of their "fantasies." More than a few guys have expressed their desire to go out with a Western woman. They are absolutely fascinated/fixated on light colored skin, blond hair, and big b_____sts! If you haven't figured it out by now, Chinese consider light colored skin one of the pinnacles of physical beauty. The lighter the better. Anyone with dark skin is considered to be a low-class type who actually has to work outdoors for a living. Heaven forbid! Western women have an abundance of such skin so many Taiwanese guys consider them very beautiful.
So why aren't they coming on to you? No expert on this but that certainly won't stop me from rendering an opinion. Part of it is shyness and the general fear amongst most men of approaching really beautiful women. I'm sure there is a bit of the fear of being laughed at because they think their English is not good enough. I think a really big reason is Asian guys in general (Stop reading now if you are too PC for generalities/stereotyping.) like their women to be quiet and submissive and these are two adjectives that are not usually applied to Western women. There have been articles in the paper about too many Taiwanese guys going outside the country to places like the mainland and Viet Nam to get wives because they considered Taiwanese women too "forward". Now if Taiwanese women are too forward for Taiwanese men, think about how Western women must appear.
It's all kind of sad in a way when you think about it. The whole world would probably be a better place were there more inter-racial/ethnic dating and marriage. We'd probably find a lot more common ground than we ever thought existed.
DirtGuy |
Why don't they come on to Western women? Easy to answer:
1. They're shy.
2. They're sensitive.
3. They have never seen a Hollywood movie when an Asian male actor gets the blond heroine
4. They are told time and time again that white girls aren't interested in them.
5. They're afraid they're English isn't good enough.
6. They see that a lot of TW women are attracted to Western men, and draw the (false) conclusion that Western girls aren't either.
7. This just isn't a culture where men are aggressive about approaching women.
And probably a few others.
But dirt guy was spot-on about Western women being objects of fantasies here. Honestly girls, all you have to do is walk up to a Tawanese guy and ask if he speaks a little English, and maybe offer to help him learn or ask him if he can help you with your Chinese, or if you can practice Chinese with him.
ANd it is true that Western girls in their home countries are a bit louder (okay a lot louder  ) than TW girls, but once you get acclimated with the culture here you learn how to not freak TW guys out. Dating moves more slowly here and you WILL scare a TW guy if you come on to him right away. On the bright side: they don't try to bed you right away.
I'm not the most attractive girl in the world, but every time I walk up to a TW guy and say anyrthing at all he is happy and flattered, even if he has a girlfriend or something and can't be interested in me. I think the Western girls who are lonely here are lonely because they don't realize they have to approach the men here. And by "approach": I don't mean being aggresive - I mean walking over, saying hello, and just acting sweet and shy. Actually, walking over and smiling sweetly is enough. It
's a piece of cake here. Once you give them the green light, they take over from there and do things like send you sweet text messages, take you to dinner, give you tours of the city on their moto, teach you Chinese, cook you food and bring you little teddy bears. (yeah, so it can't be all good - I still think I'm too old for teddy bears but it's the thought that counts, right?)
Thye are sweet and shy and don't expect them to try to sleep with you overnight. There is no "third date rule" in Taiwan. I don't have the willpower to make a guy take me out for six months before we sleep together, but if I did, all but one of the Taiwanese guys I've dated would have done it. (Ten dates is where I tend to throw in the towel, if you must know)
Learn to embrace the local men, girls, if you are lonely in Taiwan, it's nobody's fault but your own. |
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kuberkat
Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 358
Location: Oman
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| Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 9:47 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| just acting sweet and shy |
LOL! Yup, acting sweet and shy is the way to get things done in Taiwan, if you're a woman. I think when I speak Chinese my voice is about an octave higher than usual. In fact, I got so used to the humble pie approach to having your way in Asia, that when I arrived in a new region my (North American) colleagues kept asking me why I'm such a walkover. Fact is, even here, I get a lot more done with the damsel in distress strategy than they do by being "assertive".
Ten years ago I seriously looked down on women who got their way in a "feminine" way. I thought the right thing to do was to be outspoken and strong-willed- and show it. Well, you live and learn. And what I have learnt is that in many cultures, that approach just terrifies people. Traditional feminism is culturally insensitive to the point where it works against you. Who says you can't be emancipated in a fuzzy pink Hello Kitty tee? In fact, being insidious makes you stronger.
I'm terribly sorry, twinkletoes, but the only Chinese guy I want is Bruce Lee, and it seems I missed the boat. I'm just too verbal a person to sustain a relationship without deep shared language. It can be fun, but it has never run deep. "Let's language exchange" just isn't the right pickup line for me. But you are right that loneliness is a choice. |
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