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[kuberkat]

After hitting the highway not once but four times this weekend, a few remarks about driving may be in order.

On Friday morning I drove past a garbage dump with the usual array of goats and slowed down in anticipation. One goat looked both ways up and down the road, saw my car and waited for me to pass. True. I mention this because this is not quite as miraculous as it would be if the good womenfolk of Oman would check the road and wait when a car is passing. I have been told that this is to avoid forbidden eye contact with strange men in cars, but suspect that's just an excuse for covert traffic domination. This skill is, sadly transferred from pedestrian road use to driving. Don't be surprised to find a female driver enter the highway from a slip road without looking, only to continue straight ahead at 60 km per hour. Yes. Note that these statements apply mainly to the older generation outside the capital. Muscat's young professional women are actually rather aggressive drivers.

The areas designated for taxi stops are few and far between. The places where taxis actually do stop are not. Roundabouts are particularly popular.

The fast lane is often permanently inhabited by sociopaths who keep their headlights on in daylight all the way from Muscat to Dubai and back again, all the while rapidly approaching the speed of light. Fortunately they disappear on the horizon quickly, but they do not suffer law-abiding citizens gladly.

Roundabouts are there so you can make a more or less graceful recovery after missing poorly indicated turnoffs.

Although an increasing amount of women are learning to drive, 75% or more of motorists are men. If you are a woman, don't be surprised to be punished for being on the road alone, you bad girl. A popular pastime is for male drivers to overtake "uncovered" female drivers, get an eyeful, then slow down in front of them. Particularly annoying on single-carriage roads where you may be stuck behind them for some time.

On the upside, even in Muscat the traffic is not as heavy as in other capital cities, and thanks to the Sultanate's low population spread over a large area, there are fewer cars on the road in Oman than in many other places. One good thing I can say is that drivers do use their hazard lights to warn others whenever they slow down or there are animals in the road ahead. Also, if you are a woman, even an infidel female is expected to cross the road without looking, so outside of Muscat the road is yours when you're on foot.

For a nation known for its kindness, patience and mind-wrenchingly flexible attitude towards time, I am terribly sorry to say that there is no trace of these qualities in the discourtesy and impatience one often encounters on the road. The nation itself laments the abnormally high road fatality rate, which according to a recent newspaper editorial is double that of the US, often involving children and especially young men.

We may not have the chance to teach our hosts the essentials of driving courteously and intelligently, but I do hope foreigners can be part of the solution, not the problem here.

[veiledsentiments]

Not to dispute Ms Kuberkat's tales of driving in her corner of Oman, I must expand and perhaps even dispute a couple of points.

[kuberkat]

As VS points out, it may be that my gripes about driving in Oman are really gripes about driving in general. Admittedly, I drove very little before. And it is definitely time for my annual unleashing. Seems I may be doing one of those little expat routines where everything is blamed on the locals when actually that's just life.

However, while discourtesy on the road can happen anywhere, I do maintain that there are a few unique twists here, very often along gender and cultural lines. Many foreign women I know here, for example, have shared my repeated experience of male drivers driving slowly, but then speeding up to make it impossible to overtake them. Neither local women nor foreign men I have asked have experienced this. I'd love to hear more about this from other residents: am I paranoid or is there really a plot here?

[Duffy]

KK!!!!

NAW!!!! your not paranoid!!!

Whenever my wife is in the car, we are constantly amused by the "non-arab" attention paid to her. Often we pass a cyclist with his friend sitting on the back bumper and they both STARE . It is a shared joke amongst us and other expats as to who has seen the most run off the side of the road or just stopped because they have seen a "white woman" - unveiled!!

Luckily my wife is well used to this and I, having been out to the ME before recognise the antics and just ignore them as does she. After all, can you imagine what would happen if I or any other husband began to worry about all these "men" ogling my/our wife!!!! Paranoia!!! No, reality kicks in and I realise that these guys have come a long way from their homes, they are young men (mostly) and have never had the exposure to Western women, especially those who "flaunt" themselves by not dressing correctly.

Here in Salalah, I must say that it is not the regular expat western woman that upsets the apple cart. It is those young things who come in on a two week holiday, who find it is extremely hot and dress accordingly, that is for a western society. Not taking into account the cultural differences. I daresay, they have never even looked at any website or book on culural awareness here in the Middle East.They just wear stringy tops, tight jeans and openly flaunt themselves in front of the male population.

I am no prude, God forbid I ever wish to sanction censorship, but, just sometimes, I wish there was someone out there to tell these girls that they are causing offence to the Omani people in general and the Muslim country as a whole.

Many years ago I was working in Tabouk, KSA. One evening I was walking down the street with a friend and his wife. Suddenly this five foot nothing of a religious policeman ran up to her and ripped the gold chain and image of St Christopher from her neck. He brandished it in front of them both and in very broken English tried to tell them that it was an offence to bear such images in a Muslim country.

He actually raised his bamboo stick to hit her, but my friend stood in front of him, he was 6' 7" and very muscular. The little shit thought again and walked off. Despite all efforts to trace this person, he was never found and nor was the gold necklace.

Now my friend and his wife never even thought that she was doing anything wrong! She had worn that chain and image for years. It was unfortunate that she and her husband had not realised it was non-muslim and therefore, in the eyes of this little policeman, offensive.

I have never heard of this happening since, but goes to show how deep the divide really is,or was at that time, has it got any better??

Duffy (or should it be- )

[veiledsentiments]

The mutawwa/KSA story was similar to many such that one hears through the years. Rather like the inappropriately dressed visitors, it is a matter of not educating oneself about the local oddities that gets one in trouble. But those little tourist trollops types really irritated the heck out of me over the years... both culturally arrogant and ignorant...

I note that you mentioned that the extreme attention to women comes from the 'non arabs.' When I visited India, it was that problem only multiplied by the multitudes. You would think that no one in India - male/female old/young - had ever seen a foreigner before. It is obvious that no Indian mother ever said to her children, ''don't stare child, it's rude" - so obviously this is partially a cultural issue with the added extra of so many of these men being separated for years from their wives.

And kuberkat, what you described happened to me both around the Gulf - even to women old enough to be their mothers or grandmothers... and here in the US through the years this has also happened... it is not an unusual, but rather obnoxious male game... it isn't paranoia... they are after you... haa haa haa...

VS

[kuberkat]

[KiteBiker]

Gotta chime in here. After living in Salalah for 4 years, there are plenty of road stories to tell.

Exhibit A: the local Christian Pastor of Salalah gets offed by a head on collision. Mind you, he apparently survived the incident, but it's the camel that was in the back of the pick up he hit that skittered out of the truck and into his windshield and therefore his lap that was the coup de grace.

Exhibit B: driving from Sur to Muscat via the "scenic" route going through the mountains is nice ... until you appreciate the manner in which local Omanies wait for a blind curve and the double line in order to pass you. Of course, this happens all too often here in the wilds of Ontario, but over there it is a habit exhibited by well over 30% of the cars on the road.

Exhibit C: Expats are indeed a problem on the roads. The Colonial attitudes exbited by them in normal life and work seems magnified on the road. Suspect it is a human trait found in many parts of the world - your bad side is magnified while behind the wheel. The coccooning effect of the car gives a false sense of anonymity.

Exhibit D: when in Oman [and other Gulf countries} EVERYTHING is up for negotiation. There is no concept of "right of way". It is inevitable that someone merging from a side road into a major lane will take his/her place on the road in front of you, much like the "line ups" in the banks or grocery stores. There is a certain sense of self or exagerated sense of presence found in the locals that can be misinterpreted as arrogance, rudeness or misplaced entitlements. It is, in fact, merely their mindset and independence. It's a cultural thing, like ritualism in Japan or machismo in Latin American countries.

[kuberkat]

Come to think of it, in the driver education before the test there is no mention of either blind curves or blind heights. It is very possible that many of our fellow road users are simply not aware that such things exist. Not their fault then, is it, but do consider yourself warned...

[veiledsentiments]

Wherever you drive in the world, it is always best to assume that all the other drivers are complete morons who are trying to kill you... all too often you are correct.

Camels are a real hazard... not as many of them loose as in the Emirates (where they finally fenced in the roads to keep them off). Because of their height, they invariably come through the windshield and land in your lap. (same as with moose actually)

VS

[Borealis]

As to women "openly flaunting themselves" I did see women in bikinis on public beaches in Muscat. However, these beaches are in front of the hotels that are actively seeking sunworshipping tourists with enticing descriptions of golden sand and warm seas. Expats who've lived in Muscat for many years say that the locals are getting used to it. Some of my students objected, others worried about the influence on their teenagers, while others said they were pleased their society was opening up. Aspects of such "opening up" can be seen in the trees and decorations around at Christmas, chocolate eggs at Easter etc, which apparently didn't happen years ago. The incident about the policeman ripping a gold St Christopher off a woman in Saudia Arabia is less about religious sensibilities being offended and more about an ignorant little jerk exercising his power simply because he could.

I used to go swimming at the Dive Centre which was used mainly by expats. One day an Arab family drove down to the beach, the man and teenage boy in shorts and T-shirts while the woman was fully veiled and masked. They stood on the beach while the teenager pointed his video camera at the sunbathers, including my partner who was emerging from the sea in his swimming shorts. They then got back in their car and drove off. Tempted though I was to turn my own video camera on them, I like to think my own manners are a bit more developed.

I remember seeing a group of middle-aged Arab men posing for photographs in front of a lingerie shop in a mall in Muscat, giggling like adolescent schoolboys. The expressions on the faces of my partner and me prompted a nearby group of embarrassed Omani men to say to us, "Please - they are not from Oman." Maybe not, but the married men (some with three or four wives) who automatically propositioned every female teacher no matter what shape, age or size, most certainly were Omani.

As far as the driving is concerned, it is extremely dangerous. While I was living in Muscat, accidents on the road were a common sight. The much-publicised ambulance service was launched and these well-equipped vehicles with their highly-trained paramedics were positioned at strategic points along the hard shoulders so that they could quickly get to accidents as they occurred. Unfortunately the hard shoulders were so often clogged by overtaking drivers that this was not accomplished as efficiently as they'd planned.

These irritations, along with many others, such as the indiscriminate dropping of rubblish in public places, rarely get an airing because the local media will not publish any kind of criticism of Oman. There was one privately owned newspaper that did so in a mild way, brave souls that they were. Until such issues are allowed to be vented and debated publicly they are unlikely to be resolved. In the meantime, driving defensively and teaching by example will keep you sane most of the time. Speak up (calmly and politely) when you have to. I found this very effective in blocking queue-jumpers who usually responded with an embarrassed "sorry." I did notice too that some shop assistants and bank clerks ignored the queue-jumpers. I wonder if the very large families Omanis grow up in are at least partly responsible for the "me-me-me" pushiness many of them display in queues and on the roads, and also sometimes in the classroom.

Borealis

[veiledsentiments]

[KiteBiker]

Situation before I arrived in Salalah in '99:

at the old Holiday Inn [now Crowne Plaza], a female German tourist got into an argument with hotel staff. They insisted she not wear a bikini on the beach nor in the lobby. Being unfamiliar with local customs and also being a "typical" tourist insisting on being served correctly for her money, she argued back ... vehemently. The ROP was called in. He instructed her to dress properly. She started arguing with him and being a tall teutonic "Uber-woman" she even started to brow beat the smallish officer with finger on his chest. She insisted on wearing whatever she wanted.

Within 24 hours she was escorted out of the country.

[kuberkat]

Ohmigosh! Well, the times they certainly are a-changing. I have seen very few one-piece swimsuits at hotel pools. But then I have seen very few local faces there, on the same count. If there are no locals around, are foreigners still obligated to follow local customs? Does this mean I have to wear my abbeya in the shower ?

[veiledsentiments]

You have an abaya? Never owned one of those. Discretion is the key Kuber... you can wear your bikini in your shower.

Loved the German tourist story. I can just see it!! I have a German woman friend who works as a tour director and she absolutely refused to do groups of Germans for just this type of reason.

I expect that in the big hotels in Muscat, one can see most anything these days. The private clubs have always been no problem.

VS

[KiteBiker]

I highly recommend that even if you think you're alone on the beach, to "dress appropriately". I have seen locals go into the water with full fledged abeyas on and have witnessed some female abalone divers do it with skin suits. Bikinis are a no-no on any beach outside of the fenced off areas by the hotels. Even the Hilton in Salalah has issues with this because contrary to common belief, the beach behind the hotel is public and not owned by the hotel, therefore Landcruisers with young men regularly troll the beaches there just to get an eyefull.

Personally, I just don't see the advantages of skimpy outfits anyhow. Unless you are shaped to wear them, they are an embarrasment on most people - yet many Westerners insist on wearing them. My preference is the Lycra body suits cut off at the thighs and short sleeved. They can be readily bought in Oman but are sure hard to get here in the West. Then there's the whole UV/cancer thing. I'm sure it's magnified in the Gulf region because of constant sun exposure.