Job Discussion Forums

[Minhang Oz]

Gee, I'm glad "someone told " you Susie, otherwise you'd never know.
How is this pertinent to the discussion at hand?

[woza17]

What happened to my post, I thought it was innocuous and not at all egregious, a bit boring. maybe.
Cheers Carol

[struelle]

All good points. I especially like:

[struelle]

[Roger]

I own up - any guy who says girls play no part in his considerations for moving to East Asia is a liar. I left a safe and stable, albeit slightly boring life for the exotic and happening and adventuresome East. A relationship had floundered before my departure, so I was "open-minded" in more ways than one.
But, I knew it was not going to be easy because at that time any Westerner being seen with a Chinese girl would attract the Authorities (with a capital 'A').
The girls I met knew how to play it safe, apparently they knew many rules of the game that I knew too although these girls were not suppposed to be permissive.
I soon felt it was a dunce's dance, fooling with one girl than with another. I was not looking for variety - it came of its own accord because the girls were actually really after stability, a stability I could not provide - they thought any Westerner had a mountain of money, two passports and several properties. That was not true in my case, so most relationships broke down when the girls found out I was nearly as poor as they were.
Fact is these girls come for you, not the other way around. And that should tell you a lot about them.

Because it is true too that there are 120 guys for every 100 gals. So why do CHinese girls still prefer Westerners?
Well, some do. Not the majority. And those that do, well, the less that's said about them the better.
I am just discovering again why Shanghai is so attractive. You can't walk 200 meters on Nanjing Lu without being accosted by locals, the majority being females. "Let's be friends, OK? Have a drink, you come with me?" Some that say these asinine phrases are males passing themselves off as "students of English or French" - but they are in their 30's. Girls claim to be "students of art".
There are many more girls trying this trick. They surely don't ask Chinese to invite them for a drink.
It's strange that you can get rid of them as easily as if you were a mosquito - just say "thank you, so you are going to pay for me, right?"
But let me add some lighter commnt: Many years ago, a 59-year old friend of mine married a Chinese girl half his age. She had contrived to marry an American, and this guy had to first divorce his wife in the USA, which he did. We all thought how stupid it was of him, yet he was a happy man three years later. I guess he still is happy with his SIchuan wife although he had no money left to take her back to America. I am sure they are still here, though I know he is not teaching any more.

[Jess_Laoshi]

I talked to a really really sad ex-pat (who was probably about 60) ho got taken for a ride by a Chinese girl. He learned his lesson the hard way. Looking for a relationship in China is a minefield. This particular woman still kept a lover back in China after she used this ex-pat to get a green card in Australia. He took her back there and she quickly showed her true colors, cursing him, staying out all the time, and making long distance phone calls to her lover. One day her husband intercepted a love-letter from the lover in China adressed to his wife. He had it translated, and it was full of sexual innuendos and the like.

Well, I had to hand it to this guy, he got his revenge. I met him in Kunming after he had just returned from his wife's hometown. He took that love letter, wrote on it that this was a letter to a married woman, called his wife a "Gong Gong Qi Che" (public bus ), and posted it all over the place in her little hometown, causing quite a scandal, causing her parents to lose face, and creating problems for the lover, who was also a married man in the same village!

While it seems harsh, I had to admire that guy, at least he knew how to strike back where it hurts the most. He was even thinking of going to immigration and claiming he was paid to marry her (which would result in fines for him, but he claimed it would be a small price to pay to get her out of the country). Lots and lots of Western guys get taken for a ride in China by girls who claim they love them, but are really only after one thing. There are plenty of wonderful honest women in China who will be faithful and loving partners, but the sob stories are just as numerous as the success stories.

[Kurochan]

I don't know if there's any truth in this, but I heard this weird story of a foreign guy who froze to death in Dalian because of his "other woman." I heard he was this American guy who had a family back in the US. He came to China to teach, and met the girl of his dreams. She had a taste for expensive jewelry, and he bought it for her to keep her. Meanwhile, he was calling long distance a lot back to his family in the United States. Eventually, he racked up a 5,000 RMB phone bill, which he did not pay. He didn't explain why to his school (of course, the reason was that he was spending all his money on his girlfriend), so they got mad, garnished his next month's wages, and stopped paying his apartment's electric bill. The electricity, was turned off, leaving the man with no heat. At the end of the Spring Festival holiday, the guy didn't turn up to teach, and the school thought he had skipped town. They went back to his old apartment, and the found the man there, dead, in his virtually EMPTY apartment! As far as they could guess, he had frozen to death, and either he had tried to sell furniture to pay off his debt before he died, or after he was dead, the girlfriend came back and cleared out the apartment.

My friend was told this as a cautionary tale when he was hired by a Dalian school.

[cheekygal]

Gee, that's the first time ever I get to know about the fact that there is a MAJORITY of male teachers in China. I worked mostly with females. Could be 50/50...

Interesting fact: I have seen many guys with Chinese females. But most of them would LITERALLY drool when they see a western girl...

Western women smoke and are harsh on men? I don't smoke and don't drink alcohol. 80% of males I meet [especially Western] tell me it scares them
Indecent clothes? Ahem, they are sold in China for Chinese people. And half of Chinese girls wears them
At the same time, there are interesing details of Qingdao life: since I am here [and that be 3 weeks], there were 2 engagements and 2 weddings between foreign guys and chinese girls. Saw them all. Girls are pretty decent and sweet. No arogance, no pride. Simple and pleasant. So, well, not all of them take foreigners *for a ride* [in fact, I know more than 4 cases: many of my friends are actually married to Chinese girls and they stay in China ]

UH and another thing: in our world there are 7 females per 1 male
So, whatever we think, females ARE the majority!

-cheekybabe

[fat_chris]

cheekygal,

[fat_chris]

Stories like Jess_laoshi's make me avoid serious romantic relationships when in China.

Besides, I would be staying in the Motherland and not returning to the Homeland.

[beerdang]

[beerdang]

[Tong Dawei]

These Asian Night Fever songs are soo played here that the record has got to be broken by now. Why don't we initiate real live docu-dramas about days in the life of... ?

We could have a day in the life of the White guy with the mostest, coupled with the finest Yellow fever *beep* cat you ever set your eyes on.

Ther could be a thread about the fat, balding pimple butt white guy with the round faced tawny girl.

What about a thread devoted to love and lust between a voluptuous white babe and some native Hong Kong/Shanghai quintillionaire?

For the politically correct we could incorporate time and space devoted to true love between a white man and a white woman living in SHANGHAI!

[Lynn]

[Lynn]