| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Strum
Joined: 25 Jan 2006
Posts: 10
|
 Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 5:34 am Post subject: Sane Man's Burden? |
 |
|
It goes without saying that there are a considerable number of males teaching ESL who may not have been the highest functioning fellows back in their own countries. Many of them appear to be very odd individuals. Whether that was the case before they went abroad or several months of living in the unusual world of ESL instruction in Asia caused these guys to become that way will remain a mystery.
But then we get into an occassional serious situation. We get the English teacher who is in fact insane. The vast majority of the serious mental health scenarios I encountered involved males. Many of these males are seeking and finding Japanese female companionship while they are over there. Good on them. However, there are occassions when these trysts lead to something a little more serious between the severely disturbed ESL teacher and the blissfully unaware Japanese girlfriend.
Some of these women expect to return to a Western country with a partner who they believe can at least maintain basic employment.
If you ever encountered this situation did you feel an obligation to tell the potential partner that this guy may not be what he seems to her?
I ask this because one of my Japanese female students here in Canada married a Canadian guy who can't maintain even retail employment in Canada due to bipolar disorder, amongst other psychiatric ailments that he suffers. She is in a very bad situation now over here with this poor guy. I couldn't help but wonder if she could have been warned about this situation back in Japan. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Sweetsee
Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Posts: 2302
Location: ) is everything
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 5:42 am Post subject: |
|
|
They must get along fabulously though. Not trying to be mean but she did marry him and go to Canada with him, right? It's not like he dragged her there.
Last edited by Sweetsee on Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:54 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
JimDunlop2
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Posts: 2286
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:40 am Post subject: Re: Sane Man's Burden? |
|
|
| Strum wrote: |
| She is in a very bad situation now over here with this poor guy. I couldn't help but wonder if she could have been warned about this situation back in Japan. |
Warned? How? Beware ESL teachers -- they MAY be nutjobs? Watch out for them crazy Canadians....
Fact of the matter is, 1 in 4 people are said to have some kind of mental condition... Doesn't matter whether it's an ESL teacher or not... How much the symptoms of any given illness exhibit themselves is a complex hodge-podge of the severity of the illness, how the individual copes with it, along with a myriad of environmental factors, none of which are the same for any two people, even if they have the same condition and symptoms.
If you plan on doing a study of whether single, male ESL teachers who take on work in Asia are more pre-disposed to certain mental illnesses, you will be hard pressed to find sufficient proof of it, and even if you did, I'm sure the backlash would far override any perceived benefits of such a conclusion. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
furiousmilksheikali
Joined: 31 Jul 2006
Posts: 1660
Location: In a coffee shop, splitting a 30,000 yen tab with Sekiguchi.
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 10:10 am Post subject: Re: Sane Man's Burden? |
|
|
| Strum wrote: |
However, there are occassions when these trysts lead to something a little more serious between the severely disturbed ESL teacher and the blissfully unaware Japanese girlfriend.
|
Why should she be blissfully unaware? Because Japanese women are stupid? Not patronizing at all!
| Strum wrote: |
| If you ever encountered this situation did you feel an obligation to tell the potential partner that this guy may not be what he seems to her? |
Not really, how many people ever are completely "what they seem"?
| Strum wrote: |
| I ask this because one of my Japanese female students here in Canada married a Canadian guy who can't maintain even retail employment in Canada due to bipolar disorder, amongst other psychiatric ailments that he suffers. She is in a very bad situation now over here with this poor guy. I couldn't help but wonder if she could have been warned about this situation back in Japan. |
She should have been protected against her own poor judgement?
For me there are bigger problems in the World than rooting out badly-suited couples and causing some kind of damaging interference in their personal lives. What kind of "sane" person gets themselves into such a minefield?
furious: "I'm only telling you this because I care about you... and you're kinda cute. Did you know your boyfriend may not be all there?"
Japanese female friend (confused): "Not all where?"
furious: "Y'know, he may have lost his marbles."
Japanese female friend: "Well, shall we get him some more?"
furious: "I mean he's insane and you're too trusting and naive and stupid and cute to...."
Enter axe-wielding lunatic boyfriend: "You've ruined my life you *beep*!"
Chop, chop, chop.
One dead, one in jail, one emotionally scarred for life.
THE END |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
shuize
Joined: 04 Sep 2004
Posts: 1270
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 10:22 am Post subject: |
|
|
I had similar thoughts myself. Why wade into such a situation? Not enough drama in your life as it is? What are the odds your intervention is going to turn out well?
My guess is the girl in question is likely to:
a) think you're hitting on her
b) think you're trying to break her and her nutter boyfriend up
c) immediately tell nutter boyfriend
d) break up with nutter boyfriend, leaving you to deal with an angry nutter
or
e) all of the above
But my money's on "e". |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
canuck
Joined: 11 May 2003
Posts: 1921
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 12:29 pm Post subject: Re: Sane Man's Burden? |
|
|
| Strum wrote: |
It goes without saying that there are a considerable number of males teaching ESL who may not have been the highest functioning fellows back in their own countries. Many of them appear to be very odd individuals. Whether that was the case before they went abroad or several months of living in the unusual world of ESL instruction in Asia caused these guys to become that way will remain a mystery.
|
It goes without saying that there are a considerable number of females teaching ESL who may not have been the highest functioning ladies back in their own countries. Many of them appear to be very odd individuals. Whether that was the case before they went abroad or several months of living in the unusual world of ESL instruction in Asia caused these women to become that way will remain a mystery.
Makes about as much sense as your comments...unfounded and speculation. It flies both ways sweetcheeks.
Leave the dear Abby stuff to people more qualified than you about relationships. Your student obviously made a choice about who she wanted to marry. Pretty soon, are you going to be offering the Chinese grocer and the Iranian bus driver advice about who they should marry based on your assessments?  Give your friends advice. Teach your students. Don't meddle.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
gaijinalways
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Posts: 2279
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:51 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Furious,
I love it, especially the axe part.
Uh, where does Strum live again? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
TokyoLiz
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 1548
Location: Tokyo, Japan
|
| Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 1:37 am Post subject: Damn it Jim, I'm a teacher not a counsellor! |
|
|
Strum wrote,
| Quote: |
| It goes without saying that there are a considerable number of males teaching ESL who may not have been the highest functioning fellows back in their own countries. |
Ditto what Canuck said.
Male ESL teachers are overrepresented in Japan. Of course it will appear that the majority of poor mental health sufferers are male. Bad logic.
| Quote: |
If you ever encountered this situation did you feel an obligation to tell the potential partner that this guy may not be what he seems to her?
|
We are English teachers, not counsellors. The only thing we can do as teachers is be a listening ear if our students approach us. The only situation in which I've been required to counsel students as part of my job was as a full classroom teacher in a junior high school - helping children who need life skills and guidance. Otherwise, for adult students, you're only responsible for delivering instruction and confirming language learning progress and outcome.
| Quote: |
| I couldn't help but wonder if she could have been warned about this situation back in Japan. |
Mental health isn't the taboo subject in Japan it once was. People are aware of a variety of mental health issues - so-called bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, autism, mood disorders. She's been warned. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Mike L.
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 519
|
| Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 11:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
OP wrote:
| Quote: |
| ask this because one of my Japanese female students here in Canada married a Canadian guy who can't maintain even retail employment in Canada due to bipolar disorder, amongst other psychiatric ailments that he suffers. |
Yeah, well a few years in eikaiwa might do that to anyone!
Tell him as one Canuck to another "YOU'RE A DOG F******!!!!!!!!"
Maybe that'll sharpen him up!!
BTW how friendly are you with this girl??  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Mike L.
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 519
|
| Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 11:40 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Furious wrote:
| Quote: |
Enter axe-wielding lunatic boyfriend: "You've ruined my life you *beep*!"
Chop, chop, chop.
One dead, one in jail, one emotionally scarred for life.
THE END |
This happened in a Toronto hotel room last week! Watch out grass cutting wanna be OP you could be in for it!!!  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
